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Season five

davron1 — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 08:59:53 CST

5.01 Harbingers Under the Fountain
Orig. Aired September 17, 2009

Synopsis:

It's been six weeks since Booth and Brennan have seen each other. Booth has been recovering from brain surgery, and Brennan has been on a dig in Guatemala. Angela's psychic, Avalon Harmonia reveals while reading Angela's tarot cards that there are multiple bodies buried under a Washington,DC fountain. Angela shares the information with Brennan and Booth, but they're both a little skeptical considering the source. The lead pans out, and the duo find the remains of 11 bodies exactly where the psychic said they would be.

Meanwhile, Sweets has certified Booth mentally fit to return to duty after his brain surgery, but Booth is still experiencing some side effects from the coma.Booth wants proof that one of his suspects was actually named differently in the past. Booth and Brennan will indeed share a kiss after he rescues her from a dangerous situation.

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth, (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro, (Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille “Cam” Saroyan, (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets.

Guest Stars: (Cyndi Lauper) as Avalon Harmonia; (Patricia Belcher) as Caroline Julian; (Michael Bryan French) as Tom Fargood/Alexander Gallo.

Writer(s): Hart Hanson
Director: Ian Toynton

rating: (3.0, 7.8 million)

5.02: The Bond in the Boot
Orig. Aired: September 24, 2009

Synopsis: Brennan and Booth investigate the body of a man murdered for the undisclosed contents of a briefcase. Early evidence leads the team to suspect secret operatives are at work, and their theories are supported when the liquefied remains of a CIA agent are discovered in the trunk of a car. When Brennan and Booth interrogate the
CIA’s Assistant Director of Intelligence, they are left unsure of his allegiance to the U.S.
Meanwhile, Brennan’s best-selling book leads to financial success and serves as a point of contention with Booth, and Jeffersonian intern Wendell loses his scholarship, leaving the team to look for alternative funding to keep him around.

Guest Stars: (Michael Grant Terry) as Wendell Bray; (Christopher B. Duncan) as Arthur Rutledge; (Michael Arden) as Harold Prescott; (Emily Foxler) as Lena Brodsky; (Riki Lindhome) as Mandy Summers; (Katherine Kamhi) as Officer Lisa Kopek; (J.J. Soria) as Pedro Marquez.

Writer(s): Michael Peterson

Director: Alex Chapple

5.03: The Plain in the Prodigy

Orig. Aired: October 1, 2009

Synopsis: When human remains are found alongside the railroad, Brennan and Booth are called to the case. The bones belong to Levi Yoder, a member of the Amish community who disappeared roughly two months prior to his Rumspringa, or exploration of the outside world. Brennan and Booth discover that Levi was a piano prodigy, and their investigation leads them to believe that his extraordinary talent may have lead him to an untimely death. Meanwhile, Cam copes with the stress that comes from being a new parent, and Booth helps keep Cam’s stepdaughter Michelle in line.

Guest Stars: (Eugene Byrd) as Clark Edison; (Tiffany Hines) as Michelle Welton; (Michael B. Jordan) as Perry Wilson; (Jennifer Parsons) as Rebecca Yoder; (Randy Oglesby) as Daniel Yoder; (Reider Niklewicz-Larsen) as Levi Yoder; (Stephanie Turner) as Sarah; (Brian Letscher) as Amos; (Drew James) as Josef Beachy; (Kaitlin Doubleday) as Karin Lin; (Arjay Smith) as Tony Salinas; (Marcia Ann Burrs) as Eleanor Turner

Writer(s): Karine Rosenthal

Director: Allan Kroeker

5.04: Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Orig. Aired: October 8, 2009

Synopsis: Brennan and Booth investigate human remains found at a neighborhood block party. Suburban politics and secret scandals give each neighbor in the cul-de-sac a motive, leaving Brennan, Booth and Sweets to sift through the drama to find their suspect.
Meanwhile, Jeffersonian intern Arastoo comes clean about his background, and Booth’s son attempts to find Booth a girlfriend.

Guest Stars: (Pej Vahdat) as Arastoo Vaziri; (Billy Gardell) as Bob Sayles; (Conor Dublin) as Elliot Lindbergh; (Reggie Austin) as James Perry; (Paula Newsome) as Kelly Bessette; (Cheryl White) as Mary Kay Sayles; (Leonardo Nam) as Nate Grunenfelder; (Amy Gumenick) as Paige Sayles; (Ty Panitz) as Parker Booth; (Josie Davis) as Paula Lindbergh; (Rob Mayes) as Trey Johnson.

Writer(s): Janet Lin

Director: Gordon C Lonsdale

5.05 A Night at the Bones Museum

Orig. Aired: October 15, 2009

Synopsis: Brennan and Booth are called to investigate what appears to be charred human remains on an electrical fence. The mysterious corpse is later determined to be a mummified Egyptian royal on loan to the Jeffersonian. The anthropological mystery has Brennan in a tizzy, and when the Jeffersonian curator prepping the mummy for exhibition is murdered, the team suspects foul play. Brennan’s investigation of the curator sheds new light on the life of the Egyptian royal, turning their case into one of historic proportions.
Meanwhile, Brennan goes on a date with Booth’s supervisor and former intern, and Sweets’ girlfriend Daisy Wick returns to the Jeffersonian.

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth, (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro, (Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille “Cam” Saroyan, (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets

Guest Stars: (Diedrich Bader) as Andrew Hacker; (Mozhan Marno) as Azita Jabbari; (Eli Goodman) as Alexander Landau; (Carla Gallo) as Daisy Wick; (Kasey Mahaffy) as Leland Frankel; (Andy Umberger) as Steven Turnbull

Writer(s):Carla Kettner, Josh Berman

Director: Jeannot Szwarc

5.06 Tough Man in the Tender Chicken
Orig. Aired: November 05, 2009

Synopsis: When the mutilated remains of a local chicken farmer set to inherit a chicken factory farm aggressively protested for inhumane living conditions and animal cruelty are discovered on the bank of a nearby river, the Jeffersonian team is brought in on the case. The team must question the farmer’s many enemies, including extremist animal-rights activists and bitter neighbors, in order to solve the case.

Meanwhile, Angela is bothered by the farm’s practices and launches her own animal-rights campaign.

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth, (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro, (Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille “Cam” Saroyan, (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets

Guest Stars: (Michael Gran Terry) as Wendell Bray; (Sean Bridgers) as John Collins; (Andrew J. West) as Josh Parsons; (Tracy Middendorf) as Gaynor Rabin; (Steven M. Porter) as Roy Meyers; (Sufe Bradshaw) as Gina McNamara

Writer(s): Dean Lopata
Director: Dwight Little

5.07 The Dwarf in the Dirt
Orig. Aired: November 12, 2009

Synopsis: Stephen Fry returns as Dr. Gordon Wyatt. Booth, still suffering some lingering effects from his brain surgery, has to get re-certified for FBI marksmanship, but is not the accurate shot he was before going under the knife. He and Brennan investigate the death of a little person who was a former wrestling star.

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth, (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro, (Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille “Cam” Saroyan, (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets

Guest Stars: (Stephen Fry) as Dr. Gordon Wyatt; (Ryan Cartwright) as Vincent Nigel-Murray; (Dan Castellaneta) as Officer Novarro; (Debbie Lee Carrington) as Gidget Jones; (Everette Wallin) as Carson; (Jeremiah W. Birkett) as George Alano; (David Norona) as Derek DaFonte; (Wynn Everett) as Nicole DaFonte; (Martin Klebba) as Todd Moore

Writer(s): Karyn Usher
Director: Chad Lowe

5.08 The Foot in the Foreclosure
Orig. Aired:November 19, 2009

Synopsis: Booth’s grandfather Hank comes to live with him and tags along as Brennan and Booth investigate ashes and charred remains found by a real estate agent while showing a property to prospective buyers. The team identifies the victims as plus-size lovers, neither of whom seemed to have many enemies.

Meanwhile, Hank tries to play matchmaker for Booth and lets Brennan in on some family secrets.

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth, (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro, (Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille “Cam” Saroyan, (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets

Guest Stars: (Ralph Waite) as Hank Booth; (Eugene Byrd) as Clark Edison; (Sarah Rafferty) as Katie Selnick; (David Bowe) as Howard Fileman; (Adrienne Smith) as Stephanie Simon; (Carter MacIntyre) as Office David Poe; (Carla Renata) as Maureen Mack.

Writer(s):Pat Charles
Director:Jeff Woolnough

5.09 The Gamer in the Grease
Orig. Aired: December 3, 2009

Synopsis: When the remains of a competitive gamer are discovered in a grease truck, Brennan and Booth are called to investigate the case. The victim, Steve Rifton, is the only active player known in the gaming community to have received a perfect score on a famous video game. Steve turned his success into a lucrative partnership with a gaming referee and charged fans to play on the very machine that gave him the perfect score. But between sour business deals and bitter competitors, the team at the Jeffersonian must work to narrow down the many suspects with motive for ending Rifton’s reign as gaming king. Meanwhile, Hodgins, Sweets and Jeffersonian intern Colin Fischer (guest star Moore) take turns camping out for tickets to a movie premiere.

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth, (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro, (Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille “Cam” Saroyan, (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets

Guest Cast: (Joel David Moore) as Colin Fisher; (Laura Heisler) as Jill Rifton; (Kaylee Defer) as Tory Payne; (Oren Skoog) as Billy Gabel; (Jessalyn Wanlim) as Dierdre Ryan; (Jordan Orr) as Doug Seeger; (Evan Arnold) as Keith Seeger; (Sam Golzari) as Chris Ballinger; (Mickey Jones) as Willie; (Nick Nordella) as Junior; (Steven Christopher Parker) as Barry.

Writer(s): Dean Lopata
Director: Kate Woods

5.10 The Goop on the Girl
Orig. Aired: December 10, 2009

Synopsis:

Margaret Whitesell (Zooey Deschanel), a distant relative of Dr. Temperance Brennan. When Brennan’s father, Max Keenan, makes contact with Margaret, he invites her to spend Christmas with him and his daughter.

Meanwhile, Brennan and Booth investigate the death of a man dressed as Santa Claus who was blown up after a botched bank robbery.

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth, (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro, (Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille “Cam” Saroyan, (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets

Guest Cast: (Zooey Deschanel) as Margaret Whitesell; (Ryan O’Neal) as Max Keenan; (Matt McTighe) as Santa; (J.J. Boone) as Teller; (Melinda Page Hamilton) as Georgia Hartmeyer; (Carla Gallo) as Daisy Wick; (Dorian Missick) as Owen Thiel; (Tiffany Hines) as Michelle Welton; (Wendy Phillips) as Abby Chevaleer; (Jack Kehler) as Malaki Wallace

Writer(s): Carla Kettner
Director: Tim Southam

5.11 The X in the File
Orig. Aired: January 14, 2010

Synopsis: Moonlighting did it back in the 80's. And now Fox's Bones is planning an all black and white episode. "A lot of shows have done those 40's film noir episodes," the show's executive producer Stephen Nathan tells me. "But what we're thinking of doing is going back a few more years to a 1930's era homage to Depression-Era comedies like (1936's) "My Man Godfrey" (starring William Powell and Carole Lombard) or (1934's) "The Thin Man" (starring Powell and Myrna Loy as Nick and Nora Charles), where they're living the high life in the midst of the Depression - drinking and having a good time while solving murders."

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) Special Agent Seeley Booth; (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro;
(Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille "Cam" Saroyan; (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets.

Writer(s):
Director:

5.12 The Proof in the Pudding
Orig. Aired: February 4, 2010

Synopsis:

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) Special Agent Seeley Booth; (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro;
(Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille "Cam" Saroyan; (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets.

Guest Stars:

Writer(s):
Director:

5.13 The Dentist in the Ditch
Orig. Aired: February 18, 2010

Synopsis:

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) Special Agent Seeley Booth; (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro;
(Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille "Cam" Saroyan; (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets.

Guest Stars:

Writer(s):
Director:

5.14 The Devil in the Details
Orig. Aired: April 01, 2010

Synopsis:

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) Special Agent Seeley Booth; (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro;
(Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille "Cam" Saroyan; (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets.

Guest Stars:

Writer(s):
Director:

5.15 The Bones on the Blue Line
Orig. Aired:

Synopsis:

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) Special Agent Seeley Booth; (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro;
(Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille "Cam" Saroyan; (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets.

Guest Stars:

Writer(s):
Director:

5.16
Orig. Aired:

Synopsis:

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) Special Agent Seeley Booth; (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro;
(Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille "Cam" Saroyan; (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets.

Guest Stars:

Writer(s):
Director:

5.17
Orig. Aired:

Synopsis:

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) Special Agent Seeley Booth; (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro;
(Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille "Cam" Saroyan; (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets.

Guest Stars:

Writer(s):
Director:

5.18
Orig. Aired:

Synopsis:

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) Special Agent Seeley Booth; (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro;
(Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille "Cam" Saroyan; (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets.

Guest Stars:

Writer(s):
Director:

5.19
Orig. Aired:

Synopsis:

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) Special Agent Seeley Booth; (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro;
(Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille "Cam" Saroyan; (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets.

Guest Stars:

Writer(s):
Director:

5.20
Orig. Aired:

Synopsis:

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) Special Agent Seeley Booth; (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro;
(Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille "Cam" Saroyan; (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets.

Guest Stars:

Writer(s):
Director:

5.21
Orig. Aired:

Synopsis:

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) Special Agent Seeley Booth; (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro;
(Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille "Cam" Saroyan; (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets.

Guest Stars:

Writer(s):
Director:

5.22
Orig. Aired:

Synopsis:

Cast: (Emily Deschanel) Dr. Temperance Brennan, (David Boreanaz) Special Agent Seeley Booth; (TJ Thyne) Dr. Jack Hodgins, (Michaela Conlin) Angela Montenegro;
(Tamara Taylor) Dr. Camille "Cam" Saroyan; (John Francis Daly) Dr. Lance Sweets.

Guest Stars:

Writer(s):
Director:

.....

Bones Quotes Season 5

Temperanace.Booth — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 10:03:53 CST

Harbingers in the Fountain [5.1]

Cam: Doctor Brennan, welcome back! Care for a hug?
Brennan: Why?
Cam: I'm fine with that..

Booth:Look at that, I'm reinstated the day that you come home. That's the weirdest coinky-dink ever!
Brennan: No, that's not even the weirdest coinky-dink today.

Bones: What did you want to tell me?
Booth: That I love you... In a professional, 'atta girl' kind of way.
Bones: 'Atta girl' kind of way? Right back at'cha Booth. I love you too. 'Atta Boy.'

Booth: [to Bones] I got it. I got it. Just relax. Just trust me, alright? I'll take care of you. Shhh, I got you. Breathe. I'll take care of you I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I got you baby.

Booth: I am back baby! Huh? Special Agent Seeley Joseph Booth.

Angela: Oh my god. It is like climbing down into a grave here.
Hodgins: Isn't this great? Us back together again, chasing criminals?
Angela: Yeah, a pit full of massmurder victims. What's not to love?

Booth: Yes! We're back.
Bones: You're the one who told me never to look happy at a crime scene.
Booth: Right. We'll look happy after we find out who did this horrible crime and get them behind bars.
Bones: Right.

Cam: Oh god.
Booth: What?
Cam: There is lastin braindamage, isn't there? Something you haven't told anyone. Are you hearing voices?
Booth: No.
Cam: Seeley, if you're heaing voices.. That is really serious.
Booth: No, I'm not hearing voices, Camille! ...Well, I did forget that I wore goofy socks, so we can do one for that. [clunks glasses]

Booth: All right, um. That place I went to. You know, in my coma dream, it was just - Bones and I were so real...
Cam: You're in love with Dr. Brennan.

Cam: My advice for what it's worth. Forget the bruised brain and go with the lion heart.
Booth: Right. Right. Yeah, and uh, tell Bones how I feel.
Cam: Yes. Except be sure about your feelings. Because if you crack that shell, and you change your mind, she'll die of loneliness before she'll ever trust anyone again.

Booth: Hi Bones!
Brennan: What time is it?
Booth: Oh, it's early.
Brennan: What are you doing here?
Booth: I- I, eh. Hate this part of the case, y'know, when you're here alone and I'm at home doing nothing.
Brennan: I have something for you to do. It's, eh, the disc we saw in the gpr.
Booth: Yeah, uh. Hey, look at that. Minidisc, definitly 90's technology. [Begins to leave]
Brennan: Don't you want to go for breakfast?
Booth: No time, I got to get this to my people so they can find out the manufacturer and all that and y'know get this to Angela so shecan get what she needs of this thing. [Leaves]
Brennan: ...But no one is awake except for you and me?

Booth: I'm sorry, Ang. You know it's... my first case back. You know it's been a long day. Maybe I got something to prove. Sorry, you look - you look beautiful.
[Angela chuckles and kisses him on the forehead]
Bones: Oh. Would you like me to kiss you on the forehead too?
Booth: Sure.
[Bones chuckles and walks away]

Sweets: Now, I think you and I both know Dr. Brennan's hyper rationality is really just a cover for her vulnerable and sensitive core.
Booth: Oh great. So we're talking about Bones's brains too here.
Sweets: So if you breach those defenses and you don't really love her... Left you hard copies.

Hodgins: And that, ladies, that is why they call me king of the lab.
Angela: Nobody does that but you.
[They continue their connservation and Cam leaves after a while]
Hodgins: Is that true 'bout the king of the lab?
Angela: That only you care? Yeah.

Caroline: That's a lot of blood.
Booth: I'm fine. This is Bones's blood.
Caroline: That's supposed to be good?
Booth: She's fine. They fixed her and uh, sent her home.

Avalon Harmionia: Doctor Brennan! How do you feel?
Brennan: Well, they gave me medication so I guess I feel like people of average intelligence feel all the time.

Avalon Harmonia: The riddle you can't solve is how somebody could love you.
Brennan: [chuckles] Well, I am beautiful and very intelligent.

Ms. Harmonia: The cards say only your top layer is rational. Underneath you are just as crazy as i am, and that's a compliment!
Brennan: Doesn't sound like one.

The Bond In The Boot [5.2]

Harold Prescott: You shot a clown.
Booth: A mechanical clown. You tell me you never wanted to do that?
Harold Prescott: This one has to be done with discretion. I mean, it's not just your career, it's mine too. I mean, you're old, but I'm still
[Booth starts to rise. Prescott hands Booth the file]
Harold Prescott: Here.
Booth: Right.

Brennan: [to Sweets] Since the coma, Booth can't remember how to take care of his own plumbing.
Booth: You know, that's great. You make it sound like I gotta wear diapers.

Booth: [Finding a body in a car trunk] Whoa! Okay. That is going to *kill* the Bluebook value.

Mandy Summers: We weren't supposed to date. I guess it's not like the FBI. We're not allowed to sleep with someone we're working with.
Bones: Wha - is she talking about us?
Booth: We're not...
Bones: No!
Mandy Summers: Oh, it's okay. I'm CIA. My lips are sealed.

Booth: You want to know what's in that case? You call in the cavalry!
Arthur Rutledge: I know how to do my job.
Bones: Well then how come we found the killer and the case?

Booth:The Stars on the Memorial Wall represent agents who died courageously while serving their country.
Bones: Memorial Walls are reserved for agents. Mr. Dorit was not an agent.
Arthur Rutledge: In Mr. Dorit's case, I asked that an exception be made.

Booth: You know, Bones. I'm glad that we don't have any secrets between each other.
Bones: Yeah. I like that.
Booth: I mean, if we have something on our mind we just share it.
Bones: Sure. Even with all the financial and intellectual contradictions I still feel close to you.
Booth: Right. Because, you know, none of that matters anyway.
Bones: Well, sometimes looking at it through your eyes, I believe that.

The Plan In The Prodigy [5.3]

Brennan: Hey, you're wearing your belt buckle again. "Cocky."
Booth: Yeah. Ever since the whole coma thing. I just kept staring at it, thinking to myself "Why would I wear something like this?"
Brennan: Because you love it. You always have
Booth: Yeah, that's what I landed on.
Brennan: I like it. It's - Boothy.

Joseph Beachy: That's kind of what Rumspringa's for, right? Cut loose, go a little crazy.
Booth: Get busted for smoking weed.
Bones: It's supposed to be a time to contemplate your future faith.
Joseph Beachy: Yeah, I was seeing how in the future, I wouldn't want to smoke weed.

Booth: Michelle's, uh, family to me. I'm her number one uncle.
Perry Wilson: Really? She - she didn't mention.
Booth: I'm also a trained sniper.
Perry Wilson: Okay, wow. Oh...
Booth: Listen, Perry. All right. You're a read blooded young man, and uh, Michelle's - she's an attractive young girl. So I assume that you uh...
Perry Wilson: What? No! No. No!
Booth: Because Michelle deserves your respect, you understand?
Perry Wilson: I do. I do respect her. We were just going to the movies tonight.
Booth: All right. And if you behave anyway *less* that a gentlemen towards her, I'll find you. I think we understand each other, right?

Booth: Hey Bones, um, you've met perry. Michelle's boyfriend.
Bones: Yes. Nice to see you again. I heard about Princeton, you have very bright future ahead of you.
Perry Wilson: I hope so.
Booth: Me too. Have fun tonight, huh?

Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood [5.4]

Booth: You seriously believe all the hoo-ha?
Bones: It's anthropology, so yes.
Sweets: Wrong ology. Keep your grubby anthro hands off my psych.

Booth: So do you mind being used as a stud horse?
Trey Johnson: Would you?

Booth: You're each other's alibis. All three of you were together at the time of death.
Bones: Your alibi just became an anti-alibi.

Parker: Couldn't you be his girlfriend?
Booth: Buddy, you're gonna have to quit that.
Bones: That would be inappropriate.
Parker: Why?
Bones: Because... we work together.
Booth: That's a stupid reason.

A Night at the Bones Museum [5.5]

Sweets: I'd consider it a personal favor, Dr. Brennan.
Booth: Ouch. Personal favors are kind of like penalty shots. You kind of have to take them. Unlike dinner requests which you are totally open to decline.

Andrew Hacker: A mummy?
Booth: Yeah.
Andrew Hacker: Damn. Field agents have all the fun. Good luck.

Booth: Whoa. Whoa. How's this going to help us catch Kaswell's killer?
Bones: It won't. But it could exonerate Anok. There can be no time limit for justice, Booth.
Booth: Bones, Dr. Kaswell's killer is out there now. We're running out of suspects.
Bones: We'll do it Booth.

Bones: Why are you so upset?
Booth: Because... what goes on between us is ours.
Bones: Come on Booth. You must've told a lot of people the meatloaf story, right?
[Long silence]

Bones: You could be destroying evidence.
Auto Detailer: Oh man! A - another drug dealer? It's not my fault. I do a good job, so word of mouth it gets around and...
Booth: Is he a regular customer?
Auto Detailer: No. He saw my ad at the laundromat.
Booth: The laund - No wonder you have no one drug dealers coming to you.

Booth: You're great at these things. You changed history. How many people can say that?
Bones: You can. Every arrest you make changes history. You make the world safer.
Booth: With your help.

The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken [5.6]

Booth: Okay, so you want me to go ask the Defense Department if their experimental Super Soldier is half-man half-chicken?
Bones: Now you're just delving into pure science fiction.
Booth: Like a flatworm that's not science fiction. Or half-chicken that's not considered half-chicken.

Booth: [Quietly] Everything okay there, Bones? I know when there's something wrong with you. Something's wrong, right? What can I do to help?
Bones: Angela and I had a fight.
Booth: [Loudly] Nothing I can do to help!
Bones: You want to hear about it?
Booth: No.
Sweets: Why not?
Booth: Why? Because her and Angela are best friends. And Bones is gonna want me to take her side and agree that Angela was wrong. And then you know, the two of them are going to make up and then they're going to get mad at me. So no thank you.

Booth: Listen Bones, I would do anything for you. I would die for you. I would kill for you. But I am not getting between two best friends.
Bones: Okay.

Booth: [Booth grabs Bones's hand as she's leaving] Whoa. Whoa. Listen Bones, everything's going to be okay between you and Angela. All right? You two are like sisters.
Bones: I'm just... not used to not getting along with people.
Sweets: Seriously? Because it seems like -
[the table thumps]
Bones: Thanks Booth.

Bones: You noticed something. See? You still got it.
Booth: You're not going to ask me what I saw?
Bones: Do I want to know?
Booth: No... Do you want to know anyway?
Bones: No. I can wait... I trust you.

The Dwarf in the Dirt [5.7]

Booth: I just need you to help me fire my gun.
Gordon-Gordon: That sounds desperately phallic. Is this, maybe a sexual problem?
Booth: Don't say that. Don't even put that out on the air.

Booth: [after Booth knocks out a wrestler] What'd you expect me to do? He came at me like a rabid ferret.
[Bones blows him a raspberry]

Gidget Jones: What can I say? Got a thing for bad boys?
[to Bones]
Gidget Jones: Don't you?
Bones: No. I prefer good boys.
Booth: [Quietly] Really?
Bones: [Quietly] Yes.

Nicole DaFonte: Are you going to tell Derek about us?
Booth: No. No, I'm not going to say anything to him. But I will tell you that if you've been in love with another man for 10 years, your husband knows.

Gordon-Gordon: Temperance Brennan. You're in love with her. You're building a world around her. A family.
Booth: We're not compatible. She sees the world one way. I see it...
Gordon-Gordon: No. Of course, it's absolutely ludicrous the idea of you two together. But the heart chooses what it chooses, we don't really have a say in the matter.

Booth: So... about my marksmanship certification, any advice?
Gordon-Gordon: Grow a set! Be a man! Step up! She's your partner for Heaven's sakes. The job you do is highly dangerous. She counts on you for protection. So you damn well better protect her.
Booth: That's your big psychiatric advice. Just grow a set?
Gordon-Gordon: Indeed, when it comes to a man and his gun, a woman is the natural cure. Take Dr. Brennan to this, um, shooting event. You won't fail in front of her. Trust me.

The Foot in the Foreclosure [5.8]

Booth: Hey, if he wants to be with me now. It's cool.
Bones: Well, what if he wants to make it permanent.
Booth: It's family, Bones. Okay? Nothing, trumps family. Remember that Bones.

Booth: Look, a woman is dead Ms. Selnick. That doesn't bother you at all?
Katie Selnick: I know it should. My therapist says I'm afraid to feel.
Booth: Well, you know what? You really should be afraid of going to jail for obstructing a murder investigation. I want those names tomorrow. Tomorrow!

Hank: Yeah, and don't worry. Whenever you need a little privacy with that bone doctor, I'll make myself scarce.
Booth: Thanks, but there's nothing going on between us.
Hank: You gay?
Booth: What? No!
Hank: She's a keeper! You should listen to me, I warned you about Rebecca being a waste of time, didn't I?
Booth: You know Pops, I can take care of my own love life.
Hank: I don't think so.

Hank: Always so proper. Will you loosen up?
Bones: He's quite skittish when the subject of sex comes up.
Booth: No I'm not.
Hank: Maybe I didn't give him enough information when he was a kid.

Hank: You should go on a gameshow. You'd clean up.
Booth: I tell her that all the time. But you know, she's already loaded.
Hank: She's got talent, charm, beauty, money. And you're just friends?... I didn't raise you very well.

Booth: Well, what about the orderlies?
Hank: Ah, don't worry about them. They're used to being hit by me.

Booth: [Quietly to Bones after Hank has a private word with her] What'd he say to you?
Hank: None of your business!

The Gamer in the Grease [5.9]

The Goop on the Girl [5.10]

Bones: I have to remove your pants.
[Starts removing Booth's pants]
Booth: All right. You know, I'm just going to start reciting some saints. Saint Joseph, Saint Peter, Saint Paul, Saint John...
Cam: [Cam enters. Long pause] Anyone for mistletoe?
Bones: I-I'm just recovering evidence.
Booth: Just evidence, that's all.
Cam: Interesting.

Angela: [Angela laughs as she spots Bones pushing half naked Booth on a cart] Are we experimenting on Booth? Because if so I'd like to help out.
Booth: Make fun of the naked guy. Knock yourself out.

Owen thiel: You're a flunky of a corrupt regime. It's my *duty* to resist you.
Bones: I should warn you, he-he's very hard to resist.
Booth: Thanks Bones.
Bones: Sure.

Booth: Right, because you know what? Your little pirate radio frequency set off the bomb. Right before the robber was about to get arrested.
Owen Thiel: Must have been a coincidence.
Booth: Just a coincidence. You should keep saying that to yourself over and over again so you can *believe* it!

Bones: My dad brought my second cousin and... I really didn't like her.
Booth: That makes sense.
Bones: Why?
Booth: Well because she's family. I mean 90% of the time, family just gets under your skin. That's the difference between family and friends.

Booth: Oh wow! Who's this, your sister?
Bones: No. Um, my second cousin.
Maggie: I'm Margaret.
Bones: There's no resemblance.
Booth: What do you mean? You're both beautiful.

Owen Thiel: Freedom of speech. I have the right to be heard.
Booth: Legally, yeah. Maybe you should think about saying something worth hearing.
Owen Thiel: Look, it - it wasn't my fault!
Booth: You spew that poison out in the airways. This happened, you know it!
[to a nearby FBI Agent]
Booth: Agent, show him out!

The X in the File [5.11]

The Proof in the Pudding [5.12]

The Dentist in the Ditch [5.13]

The Devil in the Details [5.14]

The Bones on the Blue Line [5.15]

season five photos

davron1 — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 08:12:21 CST

5.01 Habingers Under the Fountain

5.02 The Bond in the Boot

5.03 Plain in the Prodigy

5.04 Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

5.05 A Night at the Bones Museum

5.06 Tough Man in the Tender Chicken

5.07 The Dwarf in the Dirt

5.08 The Foot in the Foreclosure

5.09 The Gamer in the Grease

5.10 The Goop on the Girl

5.11 The X in the File

Season 5 Photos (II)

davron1 — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 18:14:28 CST

There is no abstract available for this page revision.

Bones quiz

rie181980 — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 13:50:29 CST

I thought this might be fun!

I ask the first question and who ever answer's it first get's to ask the next question, and so on.

What university did Brennan graduate from?
Brennan graduated from Northwestern University

What was the name of Angela's husband (the one she married in Fiji)?

Her Husband is called Grayson Barasa

From what year had Tempe's mothers bones been stored at the Jeffersonian?
1998

What are Russ and Tempe's real names?
Kyle and Joy Keenan

In the first episode where was Brennan comming from when Angela met her at the airport?

Guatamala

What was the name of the woman who took a shot at Booth? (nickname)

Fat Pam

What is Russ Brennans girlfriends name?
Amy Hollister

What is the name of Sullys boat?

The boat was called Dreamer.
(Before sully owned it but once it was sullys he named it/changed it to Temperance)

How old Zack say he is in the episode "The man in the Bear"?

What is the name of the privately owned corporation that Jacks family own?
Cantilever Group

Where and When (what episode) did Jack and Angela have their first date?

The Girl with the Curl and at the swings at nighttime (8 pm?)

What was the name of the victim in the episode Baby in the Bough?

Meg

What is Cam's sisters name?

Felicia Saroyan

What is the name of Angela's dad and what music group was he from?

Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top

How many brothers and sisters does Zack have?(please leave number of each)

3 brothers and 4 sisters

Name the episode in which Camille Saroyan is introduced.

Titan on The Tracks

In what episode and Season did Cam's sister show up in the lab?

that would be episode 6, season 3 - Intern In The Incinerator

In what episode did Angela and Hodgins break up?
The yanks in the U.K

What's the name of Seeley's brother?
Jared Booth

What is the name of Angela's girlfriend?
Roxy

What was the name of the dog-killer from The Finger in the Nest?

Ripley

In what season 4 episode did Zack return?

The Perfect Pieces in the Purple Pond.

What is the name of TV Host in season 4?
Bill O' Rourke

In the episode Hero in the hold what was the name of the imaginare
guy booth had conversations with to stay alive??
His last name was Parker.

During what episode and why do Bones and booth have there frist Kiss??
The Santa in the Slush.

What's the name of Parker's Mother (full name)?

I'm not sure how you spell it but, Rebecka Stinson?

What did booth shoot on top of the ice-cream truck?
A clown

In what episode did booth get blown up by a bomb placed in a fridge?

All about Bones

rie181980 — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 13:36:31 CST

"To unravel a murder, you have to strip it to the bone"

*Last time on Bones* UK The goop on the girl USA- The goop on the girl	*All About Bones* Bones Cast Which actors on Bones do you love? Add what you know about the cast or find out interesting facts about your favorite person. Bones Characters Who is your favorite Bones character? Add what you know about the characters and find out details you may have missed. Bones Books Have you read the books that the TV series is based on, find out more about Kathy Reichs and the books featuring temperance Brennan. Calling all Squints. Want to become more of a squint then visit the forensic anthropology or world of Bones pages. Season/episode guides Find out more about the past 4 seasons, or check out the spoilers
*Next time on Bones- Bones will be return in January after the holiday break* USA- The X in the file UK- The X in the file	*Sign the guest book*
*News* Heres an interview with Hart Hanson You can now pre order Kathy Reichs new Temperance Brennan Book called 206 Bones David hint on Pretty sexual scene Bones season 4 DVD set the "Body Bag edition" is set to be released on October 6 and can be pre-ordered now	*Bones Album*
*Poll of the week* And the winner is ...................................... Week one winner is- The Man in the Fallout Shelter Week two winner is- Two Bodies in the Lab Week 3- Aliens in a spaceship Week 4-Judas on a Pole and Stargazer in a Puddle Week 5- The Santa in the slush Week 6- The pain in the heart Week 7- The hero in the hold Week 8- The end in the begining Or vote in are other Bones related polls	*Video of the week* Carol of the bells By videoclipsCZ
*Theme video*	*Caption Game* Feeling creative then have a go at game 10 and check out the other fun and games
*Vote for this site* Visit the cicle of bones webring for other Bones sites.	*Messages* Baby Zombie Attack

This site is in no way associated with Hart Hanson, Barry Josephson, 20 Century Fox or Kathy Reichs.
Its simply a place for fans to come together and share their love of a great show

Bones and the Addams Family

"bones" — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:31:27 CST

This is my idea for a bones episode

Bones Meets the Addams Family

In the Begining Booth and Bones investigate a murder at the front gate of the addams house. THe body is sent back to the jeffersonian and boothe and bones go to question the addams family.

when they enter the house the are disgusted at what they see.

bones: What kind of place is this?
booth: i dont know ( holding up his badge to morticia addams) may we ask you some questions?
Morticia: Mr...
Booth:..booth
Morticia: why dont you go and talk the my husband gomez, Thing will show you the way
Thing...

The thing poped out of the box

Morticia: Thing show Mr Booth the way to Gomez
Thing hoped out of the box and led booth down the hall to Gomez's office in the mean time brennan talked to Mortician as she went to check on the children; Wednesday and Pugsly.
Bones and Morticia went up the stairs to the attic where Wednesday and Pugsly were "playing".

Morticia: Wednesday what are you doing?
Wednesday: im going to electricute him
Morticia: no
Wednesday and Pugsly: please
Morticia: oh alright
Bones: your going to let her kill him, you have to stop them.

bones went to stop them when morticia stoped her.

Morticia: there just playing, lets watch.

Pugsly was electricuted, but still ok

Morticia: see just playing
Bones: how is that just playing, that is not playing thats attempted murder
Morticia: murder well that would be the most wonderful thing
Bones:(to her self, thats just crazy, and not possible)

bones and Morticia continued to talk, meanwhile booth was trying to talk to Gomez but gomez put a sward in booths hand and the where battling it out.

Booth: mr gomez could we just sit down and talk i have some questions to ask you.
Gomez: why my man, thats a wonderful idea.

Gomez and booth sat at Gomez's desk and booth couldn't get one straight answer out of him.

Booth: Mr Addams have you noticed any strange things happining in the past week?
Gomez: why no my man, nothing at all.(*boom* the house rumbled) ah dinner please stay.
Booth: ah no i dont think...(morticia enters)
Morticia: gomez they've decided to stay for dinner
(gomez stands up) Excelent, to the kitchen...

I'll write more later please comment.

Dr. Lance Sweets

Tenryuu — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 20:17:56 CST

Occupation:

Occupation: Psychologist for the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
Specialties:Behavioral Analysis
Trivia: He has a tendency to insert teenage colloquialisms -- such as "wicked," "awesome," and "totally" -- into adult conversations.
Age: 22

Bio:
Dr. Sweets is a psychiatrist assigned to Booth and Brennan after the F.B.I. feels the conflict between them may be affecting their working relationship. The character made his first appearance in the third season premiere and his portrayer, John Francis Daley, became a main cast member from the ninth episode, "The Santa in the Slush", onwards. As part of the third season's ongoing storyline concerning the serial killers collectively known as The Gormogon, Sweets helps Booth and Brennan identify possible victims and profile the Gormogon.
Sweets is 22 years old, which causes Booth to be condescending towards him. Through season 4, however, Booth begins to show a grudging respect for the psychologist, often asking for his professional help on cases. This respect may be due to Sweets ability to stand his ground against Booth. He has the ability to effectively talk to both Booth and Brennan in the language appropriate to each. Sweets is trained as a profiler and has to date assisted Booth and Bones on many cases, finding even dull lab-work new and exciting.

Quotes:
"Point of investigation: how do masters find their apprentices? Not on Craigslist - I checked."
"Come on! Remember? [indicates his office] Zone of truth. Right here."
"As adults we're imbued by the pragmatic ruitines of life, which makes it difficult for us to regard anything with childlike wonder. But, you know, it's alright for us to try. We put on silly hats, and drape trees with sparkly lights, and wrap gifts in garish paper, and that's good for us. It's not only alright for us to allow children the transient experience of innocence and joy, it's our responsibility."

Caption game

rie181980 — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 14:17:18 CST

The winner of the first caption game is...

"Ahh, nothing says best friends like a skull on the shoulder" Bear_is_the_best

Caption game 2

The winner of the second caption game is...
"It must be love, love, love..." (sakeaoi)

Caption game 3

The winner of the third caption game is ...

Booth (kidding)"E.T phone home" Brennan "I don't know what that means" laura_simas

Caption game 4

The winner of the 4th caption game is...

"So close, but still so far apart" - Rie

Caption game 5

The winner of the 5th caption game is...

Bones: "Here you take him, I don't know what to do with him." Booth: "Bones, its a baby you hold him." Bear_is_the_best

Caption game 6

The winner of caption game 6 is...
"I'll told you he would die, you owe me ten bucks" - Rie

Caption game 7

The winner of caption game 7 is....
"Its like I won the lottery, its way better than dirt or bugs, guess whos the king of the lab now? Me, its me." Maddlow

Caption game 8

The winner of caption game 8 is...

"Booth... The Latin for 'Tears sometimes have the power of words' is 'Interdum lacrimae pondera vocis habent'. What you just said meant something like 'ghost in a pink bathroom'. And, actually, it was being said by Horatius. There's no such poet as 'Horsius'. By the way, what does it have to do with the case?" (CSIxBallistics)

Caption game 9

The winner of caption game 9 is...

(Brennan) "But BOOTH! You said I wasn't allowed to shoot him what makes you think you can?"

(Booth) "The badge in my pocket and the fact that i don't shoot things i'm not supposed to by accident."

(Brennan) "Do i have to say the word 'clown'?!" (Ziva.and.Abby.Rock)

Caption game 10

2,Booth:"Bones, why are you smiling like that?"
Bones:"Cause there's an inconvenient odor..."
Booth:"...what...?"
Bones:"Your feet stink..."
grillowsfan

Caption game 11

Winner:

Booth: Tough guy huh? Think you're special just 'cause you can keep a straight face all day? Well, you've just met your match. Your gonna crack. And when you do, I'll be wanting answers.

(ten minutes of staring at the guard later...)
Booth: Still not gonna blink or anything huh? Well usually I'd say that's a sign of guilt, but maybe you're innocent...
TempieGirl

Caption Game 12

And the winner is...

Person in front of B/B: " You know, I heard some interesting things about you two from other officers.Now I understand what they meant." Booth:" What is that supposed to mean,and who said that?" Bones: " I don't know what that means."
Bear_is_the_best

Caption game 13

and the winner is Elvirakitties

Bones: Just this once?
Booth: You said last time.
Max: But she means it this time, and I promise no interferrance.
Booth: You promised that last time, and the whole lab knew.
Bones: He's right, Dad, everyone knew.
Max: Well how was I to know you two were going to do it on the lab table.
Booth: We covered the skelton's eyes.

Caption game 14

And the winner is CSIxBallistics

When the marimba rhythm starts to play, dance with me, make me sway...
Booth: 'Hey, Bones, wanna- wanna switch partners?'
Bones: 'And I thought I just heard you say yesterday that you would like to dance with 'Bones'...'
(CSIxBallistics)

Caption game 15

Leave you entries by 28/11/09

Kathy Reichs

ILoveBones! — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 19:16:52 CST

Kathy Reichs!

Trivia -Born in 1950, in Chicago. Her Occupation is Forensic anthropologist, and Novelist.

Kathleen Joan "Kathy" Reichs is native of Chicago and works as a forensic anthropologist, an academic, and bestselling writer of mystery novels. She is a Professor of anthropology at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. She divides her time between work for the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner, State of North Carolina, and for the Laboratoire des Sciences Judiciaires et de Médecine Légale for the province of Quebec. She is one of only fifty forensic anthropologists certified by the American Board of Forensic Anthropology and is on the Board of Directors of the American Academy of Forensic Sciences. Her schedule also involves a number of speaking engagements around the world.

In addition to technical books on Anthropology and Forensics, Kathy Reichs has written nine novels (to date), which have been translated into 30 languages. Her first novel, Déjà Dead, won the 1997 Arther Ellis Award for Best First Novel.
The fictional heroine in her novels, Temperance Brennan, is also a forensic anthropologist. Her lifestyle closely mimics that of her creator. A good portion of the novels is based on real life science. Most of the techniques used and technology mentioned are things that Kathy Reichs uses in her real life job. The blood spatter analysis used in Deadly Decisions, for instance, is directly from her job. In the novel Grave Secrets she uses her experience from her visit to Guatemala to enhance the story. Reichs has said herself that she didn't want her character to be perfect and chose to give Temperance some history.

A 2005 FOX television series, Bones, is inspired by Reichs' life and writing. The series borrows the name of the books' heroine, Temperance Brennan. As in the books, Temperance (Emily Deschanel) is a forensic anthropologist. She moonlights as an author, writing about a fictional (in her world) forensic anthropologist named Kathy Reichs. The TV series does not tie in with the book series. It includes a cast of new characters and while the books are all set in either North Carolina or Montreal, the television series is based in Washington D.C..
Reichs appeared in an episode of Bones, Judas on a Pole, in which she played Professor Constance Wright, a forensic anthropologist on the board performing Zack Addy's viva voce.

Upcoming appearances

April 24,2008
Raleigh Professional Women's Forum,
Brier Creek Country Club,
10701 Lumley Rd,
Morrisville,
NC 27560

May 6, 2009
Toledo Ohio Public Library,
Stranahan Theater Great Hall,
4645 Heatherdowns Blvd,
Toledo,
Ohio 43614.

For the official website click here

Angela Montenegro

bobthetree — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 01:02:42 CDT

Birthday: 16th April
Family: Daughter of Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top
Occupation: Specialist in forensic facial reconstruction, with the use of the labs 3-dimensional graphics and computer simulation system.
Relationships:

Her boyfriend goes missing in season 1 episode, " The skull in the desert".
Romantically involved with Dr Jack Hodgins in season 2.
Claimed to have gotten married in Fiji but doesn't know if it was legal or where her husband is.

Trivia: her middle name is pearly gates

Bio

Angela Montenegro is not one of the "geeks." An artist, free spirit, and "wild-child" at heart, she is the team's specialist in forensic facial reconstruction. She is the centre of life and passion in the team, although not quite of normality and stability. Angela is the one with the daunting task of putting a face on the ones that have none. Sometimes it's her love of life that makes doing her job difficult for her. Angela won't put emotions aside when it's up to her to help the victim and their family achieve peace.

Although artistic in temperament, she is obviously quite intelligent, developing, maintaining, and improving the lab's 3-dimensional graphics and computer simulation system, nicknamed the "Angelator." While she may not exhibit the same social traits as her colleagues, she is well suited intellectually to the team.

She is open, friendly, and caring, seeming to have taken on a nurturing role in the team: she has befriended and constantly tries to draw out Dr. Brennan, and she acts as adviser and "social coach" to Zack. Her rapport with Jack seems to be that of a colleague, the two of them being the closest to socially normal within the team. Her appreciation for the well-scrubbed appearance of Seeley Booth is obvious for anyone within sight or earshot of her.

Little is know of her family, although it was revealed that she is the daughter of Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top. Apart from this, and the parade of faces and anecdotes from her love-life, not much is known of her background.

All of season one followed Angela getting her heart broken by various different men she had dated. Now it seems she has become stuck on one: Jack Hodgins. They went on a date that went perfectly but she refused to go any further with it, scared that it could cause problems if they broke up. Now it seems that is is warming up to the idea of Jack, which I'm sure he is grateful for.

Quotes

"Don't talk to me about traditional, okay, I've dated circus people."
"You're kidding? Its like watching clash of the horny titans."
"She has enough pent-up sexual energy to power a small Midwestern city."
"I can't fight, or shoot a gun. But if something bad happens, I can spit with deadly accuracy."
"You know what you people lack? Whimsy. It's a genuine handicap."
"Anger is only fear turned inwards."
"Glug, glug, woohoo!"
"This is my bo-ho rocker artist, mid-week, take-a-deep-breath-and-pout look."
"For the record, I hate the guy who killed this girl and I hope to Hell he burns for all eternity."
"Friends don't let friends photocopy their butts at company Christmas parties."
"I keep asking for a baby tee that says "The Big Easy.""
"Somebody gnawed on this arm like some kind of... man corn?"
Hate is easier to deal with than love, especially disappointed love."
"[to Zack] Just because you have a doctorate now doesn't mean I won't use you as a swizzle stick."
"Testosterone spill on aisle four!"

Bones Quotes Season 4

Temperanace.Booth — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 12:12:15 CDT

The Yanks in the UK [4.1]

Booth: (as they walk past a suit of armor) Woah! Look at this guy!
Jamison: Er ... yes, sir. It dates to- please don't touch that, Agent Booth.
Brennan: Late 1490's or early 1500's ... German design?
Jamison: His Grace's ancestors fought for Henry IIX in France.
Booth: (noticing the codpiece) Oh, geez, look at the size of this. That's one large cup. Probably to scare the sissy French.
Brennan: Well, actually, Henry IIX started a trend of large codpieces because he had syphilis, so his penis was extremely sensitive to anything touching it. (Booth grimaces.)
Jamison: His Grace favors the 'intimidate the enemy' version, should the topic arise.

Sweets: Angela?
Angela: Here we go.
Sweets: Angela, men are idiots. Seriously.
Angela: Just to be clear, are you a man or a boy for the purposes of this conversation?

Angela: (after kissing Birimbau) That's the last bit of sugar you're ever gonna get from me. I want my divorce.

Booth: Wexler isn't special. You're special.
Brennan: You think I'm special?

Booth: They're like the English version of me and you!

Booth: God, I hate London! I hate England! I'm glad we had a revolution!

The Man in the Outhouse [4.03]

Sweets: Does it seem that your partnership provides a surrogate relationship, making it more difficult to form other bonds?
Brennan: A surrogate relationship wouldn't necessarily be such a bad thing because then I could avoid the sting of rejection which, however fleeting, is still uncomfortable.
Booth: Right. Okay, look, I'm sorry, you know what, if Mark and Jason don't know how lucky they are, they don't deserve you in the first place.
Brennan: No, relationships are temporary.
Booth: No, that's not true, Bones, you're wrong. Okay, there is someone for everyone, someone you're meant to spend the rest of your life with. Alright, you just have to be open enough to see it, that's all.

Booth: "You're dating two guys at once, it's not right, that's why they invented dueling."

Bones: Anthropologically, 83% of societies are polygamist.
Booth: Now you sound French. Being faithful is what separates us from the chimps.
Bones: Actually, it's a gene called har1f.

The finger in the nest[4.04]

Booth: Parker had a nightmare.
Brennan: About severed fingers?
Booth: No, it was a singing frog.
Brennan: [Shrugs] I don't see the connection, but then I'm one of those people that thinks when you dream about a banana, it's probably just a banana.

Booth: Okay, yeah, I get it. You saw a whole lady's corpse when you were a little girl and you were fine.
Brennan: Yes. Although, for some reason that I do not understand I kept staging my own death. Pretending that I drowned in the bathtub, faking electrical shock, it really freaked my parents out. And once, when Russ found me hanging he had to go see the school psychologist.
Booth: [Mildly sarcastic] But otherwise you were fine.
Brennan: [Earnestly] Yeah.
Booth: Mmm, okay. [slight pause] Do you dream about bananas a lot?
Brennan: Why?

Parker: [To Booth, when introduced to Dr Sweets] His face doesn't look like a baby's behind!
Booth: [Puts his hands over Parker's ears] Look, okay, he's having nightmares, he's not eating, he doesn't wanna go to school and suddenly he's afraid of meteors!
Sweets: [Nonchalant] Giant flaming rocks from outer space. Who wouldn't be afraid?

[Booth walks into Brennan's office to find her using her laptop computer whilst curled up on the sofa with Ripley]
Booth: Uh, the dog should be, you know, in the cage. He killed Seth Elliot.
Brennan: Well, it's not his fault! He's actually a very nice dog, [cooing to Ripley] aren't you? [to Booth] He reminds me of you.
Booth: Me?
Brennan: He's got warm and reassuring brown eyes, and he's capable of great violence.
Booth: 'Kay, great. Thanks a million.

[Brennan and Booth have just finished burying Ripley]
Booth: So, you want to say something?
Brennan: Well, I feel that this dog, Ripley, paid a price that was unfair.
Booth: It's not my fault, Bones, why are you talking to me?
Brennan: Well, you're the only one here!
Booth: Well, talk to the universe... or-or God. Or Ripley.
Brennan: I don't believe in God.
Booth: Well, "God" spelled backwards is "dog". [Brennan gives him a confused look]
Brennan: Well, and Ripley is dead and he's a dog with, you know, limited vocabulary skills.
Booth: Bones, just, you know, speak from your heart.
Brennan: [Sighs sadly] On behalf of human-kind [and the] universe I'd like to apologize for what happened to Ripley. He was born a cute little puppy, and then the people who adopted him wanted to kill him because they were too stupid to realize... he would grow into a big dog.
Booth: [Quietly] That's good. [Brennan looks at him mournfully, and slightly teary-eyed]
Brennan: Ripley was a good dog. He didn't want to fight, but he did it to please his master. And he didn't want to attack a human being, but he did it - to please his master. [Holding back tears] You know, it wasn't Ripley's fault his master was cruel and selfish. Like all dogs Ripley only saw the good in people. [nods adamantly] Dogs are like that. People should take a lesson. [Brennan takes out the dog tag she bought for Ripley and pats it into the ground on Ripley's grave]
Brennan: [Continues to pat the ground with the shovel. To Booth] Is that enough?
Booth: Yeah. As much as a good dog, hey [places his hand on her back], could hope for. Even with "limited vocabulary skills". [Brennan stands up] Okay? [Brennan gives him a watery look and a rueful smile. She places her head his on his shoulder and they embrace.]

The perfect pieces in the purple pond [4.05]

Detective Paynter: The body parts were found in this evaporation pit.
Booth: That's purple!
Detective Paynter: The kid said it turned purple when he peed in it.
Brennan: For future reference, this is more of an anomaly than a missing head.
Detective Paynter: Sad comment on your life, Doc.
Booth: Again, snippy. If my back wasn't bad, I'd hit you.
Brennan: Booth, I can take care of myself.

Booth: Okey. We came up with this guy right here.
Bones: Oh, Jared Addison. 25 years old.
Booth: Watch the road!
Bones: What? I am watching the road

Angela: These are children's shoes, but they're size 11.
Cam: So you think our victim was a giant toddler?
Brennan: That would show up in the bones.
Cam: Sarcasm does not play well in the forensic platform.

Booth: Hmm. Still living at home, there, huh, Sweets?
Sweets: No, I have my own place. And before that, I lived with a woman, All right?
Bones: Was that woman your mother?
Booth: Yeah, you mommy?

Sweets: These action figurines, they're awesome.

Brennan: What's wrong with him?
Booth: Sweets, what are you doing?
Sweets: I'm putting myself in the mind of an obsessive compulsive in order to figure out where I might conceal a memory enhancer, psycho-sexual proxy.
Booth: Right, right. What's that mean?
Brennan: Masturbatory aid.
Booth: Oh. Check the shoes.
Sweets: Good.
Brennan: What?! He's not going to find it in the shoes. Do all boys keep their masturbatory aids in their shoes, or is that particular to you?
Booth: That's for me to know and you to find out.

Gary Tushman: The publishing game's changed. You know what I mean, Dr. Brennan.
Brennan: No, I do not.
Booth: Try me, Mr. Tushman.
Tushman: Book writing is no longer about good writing, per se. It's about marketability. A book of the author. There's a reason why your photo takes up the entire back cover of your books.
Brennan: Because I'm a very good writer.
Tushman: You're serviceable, but your success is contingent upon your image as a hot, scientist chick.
Brennan: That's not true, is it?
Booth: No, of course not. Don't call my partner a chick. What's the matter with you?

Booth: What are you doing?
Brennan: I'm throwing out my book.
Booth: It's still on your hard drive, right?
Brennan: No, not anymore it's not.
Booth: You erased it? Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop!
Brennan: I don't want to be a writer anymore.
Booth: Oh, why? Because of what that publisher said? He was an idiot. Did you see his glasses?
Brennan: Well I don't want to be a sexy scientist.
Booth: Well that's like me saying I don't want to be a sexy FBI agent. We can't change who we are.

(Bones are fixing Booth's back)
Bones: Necessary pain.
Booth: Yeah necessary... ah. The way really help me is... is help me be a guy.
Bones: I help you be a guy?
Booth: Yeah, you know, it's a guys thing to... (surprised) fix things, to make 'em right. When I fix things I feel like I'm one with the universe.

The he in the she[4:07]

Brennan: Do you consider yourself to be one of my "brighter grad students", Mr. Nigel-Murray?

Vincent Nigel-Murray: Yes, and so do you, Dr. Brennan.
Booth: I am not calling this kid Mr. Nigel... anything.
Vincent: Vincent. Or Vince, or Vinny, Vin... Vinchenza. Actually, uh, I had this girlfriend, once, who used to call me "Vino Delectable" because of how my - uh, you don't... need to know that.

Cam: We all ready have Agent Booth to make lame jokes, let's stick to facts.
Vincent: The rods in the human eye are sensitive enough to detect the light emitted by a struck match from as much as a mile away, on a clear night.
Cam: [mildly surprised] Okay, let's stick to relevant facts.
Vincent: The sockets have been ground down.
Cam: Okay, that could be useful. [Looks expectantly at Vincent, who smiles but says nothing] Especially if you have an explanation.
Vincent: Plastic surgery. Oh, uh, she had [gestures with his hands in front of his chest] fake boobs, too.
Cam: "Sockets", "eyeballs", "boobs", I wouldn't use these words when conferring with Dr. Brennan.
Vincent: I know with her it's all, "supra orbital nimbus", and, "mammary implants". But you seemed a more colloquial sort.
Cam: Well, in that case, what about the "backbone"?

Hodgins: Does Brennan put "Mr." before your name?
Vincent: Yes.
Hodgins: That's her very subtle way of saying you're not a doctor.

Cam: [about the victim] "He"?
Vincent: Mmm-hmm. Triangular pubis, no evidence of a ventral arc. The pelvic bone speaks, it's says, "I be male".
Cam: The pelvic bone can say whatever it wants to say, this part here [points in the general direction of the lower body] says female.
Vincent: What part's that?
Cam: It's called a vagina.

Booth: Okay, but from now on he is always a she. She was a he when she died, so she deserves the respect due to... him... or her. Okay? Person!
[Both Brennan and Sweets give him puzzled stares]
Brennan: Okay, uh, I'm a genius and I'm confused.

Vincent: Mmm-hmmm. Triangular pubis, no evidence of a ventral arc. The pelvic bone speaks, it's says, "I be male".
Cam: The pelvic bone can say whatever it wants to say, this part here says female.
Vincent: What part's that?
Cam: It's called vagina

The Skull in the Sculpture [4.08]

Bones: I was ... going to say I had an accident over here, but I ... don't like lying.
Cam: You dumped a bucket full of domestic beetles onto this work of art. They'll strip the flesh off our victim in no time.
Bones: Within 30 hours. Am I fired?
Cam: Au contraire. Remind me of this moment around Christmas bonus time.

Caroline: We'll see howartisticpeople are feelin' when it starts stinking. Just don't scratch it.
Cam: Don't scratch the crushed automobile which encases a rotting, dead body?
Caroline: Good, we understand each other.

Caroline: Sorry, Cherie. Apparently, this is an historic piece of art!
Hodgins: It's a hard car shell with a gooey corpse filling.

Hodgins:(coming into the room with Jaws of Life)Do you know what this is?
Cam: The Jaws of Life.
Hodgins: Twenty-three thousand pounds per square inch of raw prying power.
Cam: You really want to be the one to use that, don't you?
Hodgins: It's not displaced sexual frustration.
Cam: Of course not.
Hodgins: I am totally cool if Angela wants to date already, or I mean, again.
Cam: Right. You do know the point is to remove the human remains from inside the car with minimal disruption of the evidence?

The Con Man in the Meth Lab [4.09]

Booth: I don't want to talk about my brother.
Brennan: Would you prefer Sweets do it? (Booth looks over at Sweets, and they make eye contact)
Booth: I'm listening.

Cam: Dr. Brennan, I ... don't want you to think this is an intervention.
Brennan: I, don't know what that means.
Sweets: An intervention is when a group of loved ones bands together to help, one of their own make a difficult decision.
Cam: Oh! Then ... then it is an intervention.

Jared: Is she coming on to me?
Booth: No, that's just the way she talks.

Angela: Because he's Booth's little brother. It'd be a creepy way to have sex with a Booth without having sex with the real Booth.
Cam: Kudos Angela, I would not have had the guts to say that out loud.

Angela: Things in a toilet bowl should not move.

Jared: What else have you got for me?
Booth: What am I? Your pimp?

Booth: Bones, this is my little brother.
Jared: Bones...
Booth: Dr. Brennan.
Bones: Oh, it is nice to meet you, Jarhead. I can see the family resemblance. your facial structure
is even more symmertrical than Booth's.
Jared: Is she coming on to me?
Booth: No, that'sust the way she talks.

The Passenger in the Oven [4.10]

Cam: We're looking at the margins of the burned flesh around the rectus abdominis.
Brennan: I dislike the occlusive nature of tissue.
Cam: Look, just think of it as bone wrapping.

Sweets: So, the cat's away and it's TGIF, huh?
Cam: I'm right here. I'm the cat.
Sweets: Well, in this case, I think Dr. Brennan is the cat.
Cam: I'm the cat....who's giving the mice the rest of the day off.

Booth: (grossed out by the skull) I am definitely not a squint.
Brennan: Well, I've always known that. You have no training int he field of forensic science.
Booth: I really don't want any.

Booth: All right. What I want you to do is take off your glasses, shake out your hair, and say "Mr. Booth, do you know what the penalty is for an overdue book?"
Brennan: Why?
Booth: Nevermind.

Eli: Hey, are you two gonna make out?
Booth: Hey, quiet. You lost your right to talk.
Brennan: Why do people always think we're gonna make out?

The Bone That Blew [4.11]

Brennan: Whose sperm hit whose egg shouldn't determine who works here!

Cam: Citric acid?
Hodgins: It's my considered belief that Agent Booth spilled Orange Juice on his tie.
Cam: I look forward to him explaining that to a jury.

Booth: So I thought he was strangled.
Brennan: He was strangled, shot and set on fire.
Booth: Someone wanted to make sure he didn't get home.

Cam: For an artist, you make a pretty good detective.
Angela: I think you just insulted me.

Max: Oh, look! There's the doctor who told the jury I was a sociopath!
Sweets: A likable sociopath.

Max: Are you sleeping with my daughter?
Booth: No
Max: Why not? Are you gay?
Booth: No!
Max: Is she not attractive enough?
Booth: Bones is beautiful.

Hodgins: You know, your old man, he reminded me why I got into science.
Brennan: To catch murderers?
Hodgins: To figure things out in amusing ways.

Brennan: (To Sweets) I can understand quantum mechanics but I can't understand you.

Double Trouble in the Panhandle [4.12]

Brennan: Okay, well, I think what we need to do is get a syncopated rhythm going that takes advantage of the natural frequency of the springs.
Booth: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you this spontaneous during real sex?
Brennan: Yes.

Booth: Oh, look at them....clowns.
Brennan: Well, the psychiatric term for fear of clowns is coulrophobia.
Booth: It's not fear, it's hate. Okay? Big difference.

Cam: So we're looking at the Three Stooges as the cause of death. She handles Vincent so well.

Brennan: Don't blame gravity for your lack of tidiness.

Brennan: (having answered Booth's cell phone, to Booth) It's for you.
Booth: Of course it's for me, it's my phone!

Fire in the ice [4.13]

Bones: You're gonna make me fall!
Booth: I'm never gonna make you fall, I'm always here.

Bones: That Agent Perotta, she really enjoyed working with us.
Booth: Yeah.
Bones: But um, you're the only FBI agent I wanna work with.

Booth: Bones. What are you doing on the ice?
Brennan: I get nervous when you fall down and don't get up.

Bones: Will you tell me what the 'Lucky Lucciano' told you?
Booth: He's not an Italian Opera singer, Bones, why do you always say that wrong? You do it on purpose don't you?
Bones: I would like to know what he said!
Booth: He said that I'm not like my old man, that I'm made of better stuff.
Bones: Well, I don't know your old man, your father, but I think you're made of very, very good stuff.

Booth: Hey, you know what? Forget about Agent Perotta, all right? Nothing's gonna change between me and you.
Brennan: Well, entropy is a natural force that pulls everything apart at a subatomic level. Everything changes.
Booth: Not everything, Bones.
Brennan: Don't--
Booth: Not everything

Brennan: [opening the door] Hey. You two all right?... What?
Booth: Want to wait outside?
Brennan: But your hand might be broke. Do you want me to look at it?
Booth: No, that's all right. You can wait outside. It's the Men's Locker room, Bone.

Wendell Bray: [Still disoriented after he gets knocked out during a hockey game] Don't worry. I got the blood.
Booth: Good work, Bones.
Brennan: I'm Bones.

The Hero In The Hold [4.14]

The Princess and The Pear [4.15]

The Bones That Foam [4.16]

The Salt in the Wounds [4.17]

The Doctor in the Den [4.18]

The Science in the Physicist [4.19]

Booth: Dead guy. What about the dead guy?
Cam: It's obvious. He was frost bitten while climbing Everest then struck by a meteor then dumped into a vacant lot in two garbage bags and eaten by crows.
Booth: All right, obvious. That's so obvious.
Cam It's a start.

Hodgins: [From inside the lab] FIRE IN THE HOLE!
[Cannon goes off. Booth tries to shield Bones]
Booth: What the hell was that?
Hodgins: [Hodgins exits the lab] We're okay. Everything's okay.
Brennan: We should get out of here before lock down. Let Cam deal with it.
Booth: Yeah. All right.
[They both run for the exit as the alarm goes off]
Cam: [to Hodgins and Nigel] You know you're grounded, right?

Booth: You're testing me on the cancer chair?
Brennan: Well, you're wearing a suit. Plus it's not radioactive anymore... We're going to need to take this chair.
Booth: No. No. No. No. You don't just go around doing human testing on people, Bones!
Brennan: It's just...
Booth: I gotta go to the bathroom.
[Booth leaves]
Brennan: I touched it with my bare hands... See?

Brennan: So you think that two people who care about each other, they leave metamophorical marks which should be allowed to fade naturally?
Booth: You heard me but you just didn't understand me.
Brennan: I wonder that about you all the time.

Landis Collar: [Bones and Booth are yelling at each other because they can't hear] You two might want to try resting before communicating. Don't need to be deaf as well as blind.
Booth: WHAT?

Booth: You know what? You're the only smart person I really like.
Brennan: Thank you.
[They start to leave interrogation together]
Sweets: What about me?
[the door closes]

Booth: Okay, listen... We just gotta stop hanging out with geniuses because you're gonna figure out that I'm really stupid.
Brennan: What? Don't worry about that.
Booth: Hmm?
Brennan: I figured out a long time ago how stupid you are.
Booth: Hmm.
Brennan: What I just said is... true. And yet it... really sounded wrong. What I should say is that I don't care how stupid you are... It's not any better?
Booth: No. No. Not at all.
Brennan: [the squints join them] Okay, well, there is intelligence which I have, and Mr. Nigel-Murray.
Vincent Nigel-Murray: Oh thank you.
Brennan: And Sweets, even though, his is so misdirected as to be meaningless.
Sweets: Wow. Backhand full of knuckles with that compliment.
Brennan: And Hodgins... And Angela... not so much, but she's very talented.
Angela: Thank you very much.
Brennan: You're welcome. But then there's another quality. Which is the ability to use intelligence. That is what you have.
Booth: Thanks Bones.

The Cinderella in the Cardboard [4.20]

Booth: Oh, I'm just saying that life is a lot more than what you cook up with your chemistry sets. Miracles do happen.

Brennan: Love is a chemical process which causes delusion. An intellectually rigorous person would never get married!
Booth: Never say never.
Brennan: That's a paradox, makes no sense.
Dr. Marcus Scheer: Am I still needed here? Because if you two are having relationship issues, I should...
Brennan: We're not a couple.
Booth: We just work together. That's all.

Mrs. Lucia Bertolino: You know this veil would be perfect for you dear.
Brennan: Oh, well, it's symbol of virginity and I've been sexually active since I was...
Booth: Okay, Bones, we really have to get going.
[to Mrs. Bertolino]
Booth: Thank you so much for your help.

Booth: Why'd you tell Sweets? He's gonna come in here. He's gonna cry and stuff.
Sweets: [Sweets stands at the doorway and knocks] Excuse me.
Booth: Oh, God.
Sweets: Um, do you have a minute?
Brennan: Of course.
Sweets: I was talking to Agent Booth. I need a minute alone.
Brennan: Sure.
[Bones leaves]

Booth: If you were your own patient, what kind of advice would you give yourself?
Sweets: Impressive. Turn the question back on me. It's a classic theraputic technique. It's really, really annoying.
Booth: Did it work?
Sweets: Yeah. I should confront her. I should be candid. You're right. You're right. It's the only way. Thank you.

Booth: Look Bones, you can't go around telling everybody what's on your mind even though it's the truth. Okay? What if we were going out, right? And you were, you know, taking forever to get ready. You come out in this dress, and I told you I didn't like it. What are you gonna do?
Brennan: I'd reevaluate. Change or ignore you.
Booth: Of course you would Bones. Good answer.

Brennan: I know intellectually jealousy is absurd, but I see that it's real for people... I even experience it myself.
Booth: ...So, what are you jealous of?
Brennan: Angela. Hodgins. Cam. You.
Booth: Why?
Brennan: Because you all want to lose yourself in another person. You believe that love is trancedent and eternal... I want to believe that too.
Booth: Hey, you will... I promise. Someday you will.

Mayhem on the Cross [4.21]

Double Death of the Dearly Departed [4.22]

Booth: Drink up will ya.
Brennan: Why?
Booth: Cause I'm hoping that you're gonna pass out.

Angela: Hey, you stole the body?
Booth: No. No. No. No. We didn't steal it, you see? We borrowed it. Okay? Cam and Bones think it was translated.
Angela: Uh, what?
Booth: Translated. It's code for murder. That's how we're saying it today. Translated.

Angela: [while using Booth's computer] So while I'm in here, mind if I erase a few parking tickets?
Booth: Tell you what, you know I'm not going to relax until we get Hank's body back in that casket. All right?

Brennan: There are no such things as zombies. Just an island superstition.
Dr. Jonah Amayo: And now you've managed to insult an entire culture and their belief system.
Booth: She does that to everyone.

Dr. Jonah Amayo: You people need to work on your smalltalk-skills.

Brennan: Oh, do you think Barney killed Hank?
Booth: Why don't you ask him?
Brennan: Why? Is it because I'm an attractive, sexy, young woman who can loosen his tongue?
Booth: Oh definitely, of course there's that. Plus he wants you to publish his book.

Booth: When I inevitably drop dead before you. I'd like you come out and spend some time and talk to me every once in a while.
Brennan: I'll feel foolish knowing you can't hear me.
Booth: Promise.
Brennan: ...I promise.
Booth: Hey, there you go. Huh? You agreed. I didn't think you would agree. Now, why did you agree?
Brennan: I believe that if I pretended you were still here. I would feel better for a moment. Also speaking to you would require me to figuratively look at myself through your eyes, again temporarily. And I think that would make me live my life more successfully.
Booth: You know what Bones? That's the best thing that anyone has ever said about me.

Booth: Just make sure when they put me in the ground, I'm dead.
Brennan: No problem.
Booth: Maybe uh, you know, leave my body our for a few hours and check on me every once in a while.
Brennan: I'd rather refrigerate, or you'd start to smell.

Hodgins: [holding a speech for the diseased]
This is a sad day, for all of us. But I think it's important that we remember what we loved about Hank. You know, sense of humor, of course. He was always quick with a joke, good or bad. Usually bad. But he...
[Sees Breannan and Booth carrying the diseased outside the window]
...Oh. My god. Uhhh, oh my god, Hank! Ah, haha. Hank is... Hank is... He is leaving us. Where is he going from here? Who knows? But, eh, but eh..
[Throws glass into the floor]
....Ooh, god, eh, Hank. It's not fair, you know. We live life and we die, we don't love enough and , and, and I'm gonna not do that anymore. I need to live. And love...
[Sees Booth, Brennan and Hank is gone]
...Thank you.

Barney: What a lovely voice you have, Doctor Brennan!
Brennan: Yes, I know

The girl in the mask [4.23]

Micah Strutt: That old jerk fire them for this. This is the 21st century, who cares about a little skin, right?
[Nakamura steps forward]
Booth: He does. That's his sister.

Brennan: [to the masseuse] Hitting the illohypogastic nerve can can be extremely painful.
[Demonstrates on Vogler. Vogler screams in pain]
Booth: Where's the sword?
Paul Volger: I
[Bones applies more pressure. Vogler screams again]
Paul Volger: God! I am not saying another word to you people without my lawyer.
Booth: Fine. That's fine with us. We'll be in touch. Come on Bones.
[Booth and Bones leave. As they're almost out the door Vogler screams in pain. They look back and see the masseaus applying pressure to the nerve]
Brennan: Oh, she's a quick learner.
Booth: Yeah. Very quick.

Ken Nakamura: If you think the photographer is the killer, I want to be there!
Booth: Nak, if you budge from the Jeffersonian, I will put you on the first plane back to Japan. You understand? You know me. And you know that's true.
[Booth ends the call]
Brennan: You were kind of mean there, Booth.
Booth: Man's in big pain, Bones. Makes it hard for him to hear.

Booth: What do you want me to do Nak?
Ken Nakamura: I want to kill him.
Booth: Look, he could give us Sachi's murderer.
Ken Nakamura: And then he goes free. The man who put my sister's head on a spike.
Booth: If we don't cut this deal, then her murderer could walk.
Ken Nakamura: This is your case, Booth. What I want doesn't matter.
Booth: To me it does. It would to Sachi.
Ken Nakamura: [Long pause] Cut the deal.

Brennan: I just mean that we should be designed so we can handle the worst.
Booth: We are designed that way. We aren't sent anything we can't handle.
Brennan: I'm not convinced that loving someone is worth it.
Booth: I've got a son and it's worth it.
Brennan: Even if he died?
Booth: Whoa! Bones don't even say anything like that. Don't even put that out there. It is worth it. And everything around it is worth it... Every moment. Everything is worth it.

The Beaver in the Otter [4.24]

Booth: Tell you what, Bones, you know when I was in college, my frat. We stole a cadaver, dressed it like Caesar, put it on statue of a horse.
Brennan: Would this, by any chance, be a fraternity of sociopaths?

Brennan: I think you'll find your missing Medical School Cadaver over there.
Booth: Where?
Brennan: Sitting in the bleachers. He hasn't moved since we got here.
Tina Mullins: No. That's just campus security. They're always like that. But I'll go check it out.

Booth: What they gotta do is build their frontal lobe with exercise. That comes from doing the wrong thing.
Sweets: So your theory is: you've got to be bad to be good?
Booth: Exactly. Facts of life my friend.

Booth: You want me to come to India with you?
Jared Booth: Ball's in your court brother.

Brennan: If you go with him, then he won't be alone. You won't let him be bad. And his frontal lobe will always be the size of a raisin. That's what you said. Makes no scientific sense.
Booth: Yeah, I said that. Got it.

Arastoo Vaziri: Dr. Brennan said to be especially nice to you when the science was difficult.
Booth: How stupid do you people think I am?

Jared Booth: So come as a friend.
Booth: We both know I'm not your friend. I'm your big brother.
Jared Booth: Yep.

The Critic In The Cabernet [4.25]

The End In The Beginning [4.26]

Brennan: You know that glass of wine we share every night?
Booth: Yeah.
Brennan: I have to stop that.
Booth: Oh come on, Bren. Just because you have one glass of wine every night with your husband, doesn't mean you're an alcoholic.
Brennan: That's not why.
Booth: [pause realizes what she means] No?
[Bren chuckles]
Booth: Yeah! You're pregnant? A little boy, huh?
Brennan: Or girl.

Brennan: You're awake. Your operation was a success, but you reacted poorly to the anesthia. You've been in a coma for 4 days.
Booth: It felt so real.
Brennan: It wasn't real.
Booth: Who are you?

Cam: Good morning, I'm Detective Saroyan.
Booth: Yeah, I know who you are. You're my brother's partner.
Jared Booth: She prefers the term "boss."
Cam: Official visit. See the badge?

Brennan: Cam says the reason I didn't hear the gunshot is because I'm cheating on you.
Booth: Oh, well Jared thinks I'm the killer. He's helping me get away with it.
Brennan: So you're a murderer. I'm unfaithful. We are an exciting couple.

Brennan: Max told me he works for the Gravedigger.
[Booth scoffs]
Brennan: He told me something else. He said that Jared works for him too.
[Booth groans]
Brennan: Don't get so mad. Max could be lying.
Booth: Look, I'm mad because I don't find it hard to believe at all.

Sweets: Hey, so uh, we're Gormagon. Um, I mean the name of the band is Gormagon. Some people think I'm Gormagon, but I'm not. It's like there's no one named Floyd in Pink Floyd.
Booth: Just play Sweets.
Sweets: Yeah.
Brennan: [Quietly to Booth] Gormagon's a stupid name. What does it even mean?

Brennan: What about entertainment?
Angela: I thought Sweets was fantabulisticulous.
Booth: Nah. We got the Crue.
Brennan: What crew?

Booth: Should I be upset that everyone thinks we're murderers, or just happy that everyone is trying to help us get away with it?
Brennan: You should recognize that everything they do to help us, make us look more guilty, especially you.

Bones Quotes Season 3

Temperanace.Booth — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 12:11:00 CDT

Add your favorite quotes here!

The Widow's Son in the Windshield[3.1]

Clark Edison: (interviewing to be Brennan's new assistant) Did I get it right?
Cam: Yes. Construction worker, foundation collapse.
Clark: But I'm not impressing her.
Cam: I'm still not completely certain what Dr. Brennan thinks of me.

Booth: So it's been what, three months since Zack shipped off to Iraq?
Brennan: Uh-huh.
Booth: How hard could it be to replace him?

Brennan: How did this skull get here?
Booth: Ask our eyewitness. (Runs off to get a teenage boy.) Let's go buddy. (Brings the boy over to Brennan.)
Boy: I am not high.
Brennan: Neither am I, why is he telling me that?

Boy: I was driving behind a dump truck, and that came flying off the back.
Brennan: Do you think the rest of the skeleton is still in the truck?
Boy: No.
Brennan: Why?
Boy: It didn't come flying out, if came flying off. It bounced.
Booth: Oh, a bouncing skull.
Brennan: Or perhaps you thought that because you were under the influence of tetrahydrocannabinol.
Boy: What?
Booth: Weed.

Brennan: Why would anyone throw a skull off an overpass?

Private Investigator: So your husband signed his name to the marriage license with an X?
Angela: Yeah.
Private Investigator: So you married a guy without knowing his name.
Angela: It was Fiji, okay. I was on vacation.

Private Investigator: Right. Well, I'm just gonna need any description that you can provide of your husband...details, dates, photographs, who else was there...
Angela: Tall, I guess. Muscular. Black. That's all I've got. You know what, I think his name had a B in it. Actually, it could have been a K. You know what, I could make you a sketch.

Angela: You are not gonna hire that one either.
Brennan: I haven't made up my mind yet.
Angela: And when you don't hire him, it just prolongs this lame excuse for you not to go out into the field with Booth.
Brennan: Why would I do that?
Angela: Because, when Hodgins and I ran away from our wedding, we left you and Booth standing at the altar. And that iconic image totally freaked you out.
Brennan: No it didn't.
Angela: Sweetie, this is not one of those things where you try to keep a secret and I ferret out the truth. This is where I tell you something that's true, so you can catch up to your own reality.
Brennan: Ange, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Angela: (nods) Which actually proves my point. (Hugs Brennan) I really love you to bits and pieces, sweetie. I know, you love me back. We'll talk again, when you catch up.

Caroline Julian: (to the squints) I find that you maintain an impressively consistent level of annoyance at all times, why?

Cam: Obviously, we're looking for someone that really, really hates classical music...

Zack (looking up from the skull to find everyone staring at him): It's hard to concentrate when you're all staring at me...

Zack: Hey! Why are you listening to my chest?
Booth: Because I thought you were dead.
Zack: Why?
Booth: Why? You’re lying on a stainless steel table for dead people.
Zack: I got tired.
Booth: New rules okay? Sleeping is for couches and beds and stuff like that.

Hodgins: (to Zack) Man! You look like crap!
Cam: Well, Iraq's not a vacation.

Brennan: Hodgins, the reason I'm not going out in the field with Booth is that I'm trying to find a replacement for Zack.
Hodgins: There is no replacement for Zack. I mean, he's good with bones, excellent at math, he's pretty brilliant at making contraptions, and when our experiments blew up it was easy to pin the blame on him. In my book all that makes Zack irreplaceable.
Brennan: Exactly, which is why I'm stuck in the lab, not some other reason.
Hodgins: The only thing you can do is forgot about replacing Zack and find someone who can just help out around here.

Soccer Mom in the Mini-Van[3.2]

Angela: (introducing herself to Agent Frost) Angela Montenegro. I do facial reconstructions (nods towards Hodgins) and him.

Sam: (to Booth) She must be really good in bed, otherwise I don't see why you'd keep her around.
Brennan: Yes, I am. But Booth would have no direct knowledge of that fact.

Brennan: As an anthropologist I accept change as the natural order of things but with him I didn't allow for transformation. I predicated his behavior based on a set of out motive preconceptions, it wasn't rational.
Booth: (drunk) Wow, I didn't get any of that.

Booth: Look Bones all I'm saying is Caroline went to a lot of trouble to get you private visitation with your father and now you don't want it.
Brennan: The Federal detention facility already has visiting areas. Booth: Yeah behind two inches of glass. Now you'll be able to give your old man, you know, a hug.
Brennan: I didn't ask for special treatment.
Booth: That's because you don't have to because you are special!

Sam: (to Booth) If she were a guy I'd deck her!
Brennan: Actually that distinction is no longer necessary but I wouldn't recommend it.

Cam: How close are we to identifying the victim?
Angela: Well this is the skull. (indicates how broken the skull is) I'm good but I'm not that good.
Brennan: Perhaps you can use these, (sarcastically) there's a portion of tongue, hair and brain matter.
Angela: Okay if anyone needs me I'm gonna go throw up, then do some paper work.

The Death in the Saddle[3.3]

Brennan: Stop or I'll kick you in the testicles!

Booth: I lost my appetite because you made me think about all those people parading around pretending to be something they aren’t just so they could have crappy sex.
Brennan: How do you know it’s crappy?
Booth: Gotta be, Bones. Come on, it’s gotta be.
Brennan: Why?
Booth: Why? I’ll tell you why. Here we are, all of us, basically alone, separate creatures, just circling each other, all searching for that slightest hint of a real connection. Some look in the wrong places. Some — they just give up hope because, in their mind, they’re thinking, ‘Oh, there’s nobody out there for me,’ but all of us we keep trying over and over again. Why? Because every once in a while…every once in a while, two people meet and there’s that spark, and, yes, Bones, he’s handsome and she’s beautiful and maybe that’s all they see at first, but making love…making love…that’s when two people become one.
Brennan: It is scientifically impossible for two objects to occupy the same space.
Booth: Yeah, but what’s important is we try, and when we do it right, we get close.
Brennan: To what? Breaking the laws of physics?
Booth: Yeah, Bones — a miracle. Those people with their role-playing and their fetishes and their little sex games, it’s crappy sex, well, you know, at least compared to the real thing.
Brennan: (staring at him, faintly smiling) You’re right.

The Secret in the Soil[3.4]

Brennan: You want us to base our actions on your gut?!
Booth: You have your shiny machines, I have my gut.
Angela: Is it always like this whenever you two are together? Brennan: Yes!
Booth: (at the same time) No.
Angela: (grins) That's kinda hot.

Hodgins: (finding a rare insect) Hello my exotic princess!
Cam: What a charmingly inappropriate greeting Dr. Hodgins.
Zach: I think he was talking to the bug.
Cam: Well now I feel a bit...rejected.

Brennan: So we get to stay together?
Sweets: Yes...
Booth: I'm sensing a but.
Sweets: However...
Brennan: Same as a but.

Brennan: (about Dr. Sweets) Don't scare the boy Booth.

Booth: You wouldn't even have coffee with me?
Brennan: Well, in your scenerio, we wouldn't even know each other. Because there are no murders
. Booth: Were, I said no more murders.
Brennan: Then fine, we could have coffee. So that's clear, that I mean, we'd have coffee.

The Mummy in the Maze[3.5]

Brennan: (as Wonderwoman) Sorry, the bullet grazed my bracelet!

Brennan: Who's more powerful, Cat Woman or Wonder Woman?
Hodgins and Zach together: Wonder Woman.
Brennan: I concur, vehemently

Zach: I will be the back end of a cow.
Hodgins: So no costume.
Zach: Naomi from Palentology has agreed to be my front.
Hodgins: So many jokes so little time.

The Intern in the Incinerator[3.6]

Aldridge: Why am I talking to you?
Brennan: What time did you leave the Jeffersonian that night?
Aldridge: Shortly after 11. Dr. Brennan, surely I merit someone higher up on the food chain that an FBI consultant.
Brennan: Kyle, I know you get everything you want by flaunting your superior intellect. But that won't work with me.
Aldridge: Why is that?
Brennan: Because I'm smarter than you are.

The Boy in the Time Capsule[3.7]

Booth: There was this girl, Karen Highsley, and we were under the bleachers one night, personally, with me.
Brennan: Got it, you were having sex, in the dirt under the bleachers.
Booth: Excuse me, I'm a gentleman, I brought my sleeping bag.
Brennan: Did you fail to perform sexually?
Booth: What?
Brennan: Cause that might actually count as a humiliation. (starts to walk away)
Booth: (runs after her) Will you just wait? Will you just allow me to tell my story?
Brennan: FIne.
Booth: Thank you, alright. So this girl, she had this game, where she would ask me a question-
Brennan: What kind of question?
Booth: It doesn't matter, okay. So if I got the question wrong, I'd have to take off a piece of my clothing. So of course I knew all the answers, but I pretended that I didn't.
Brennan: So you could take off your clothes.
Booth: Exactly. Now, my point is, I'm standing there, you know, in my socks and my St. Christopher medal, she runs off. She runs off with the sleeping bag and all my clothes and I'm standing there starko.
Brennan: Well why would she do that?
Booth: Well, I suppose she heard I was under the bleachers with the week before.
Brennan: Okay, this is a story about sexual prowess, Booth, you're bragging!
Booth: (laughs) I had to run across the campus buck naked!
Brennan: You're laughing about it now! You enjoyed displaying your penis, it showed alpha male mastery. (lowers her voice) Only one other person knew about Brainy Smurf; it was my mother.

Booth: Smurfette is a stupid, shallow smurf who only had her looks. Look...you're better than Smurfette, you have your looks, and a whole lot more.
Brennan: You did bring that for me. To charm me in case I didn't find your humiliation so impressive, but I did.
Booth: Aha, so, I did impress you.
Brennan: That's what impressive means, dummy.

Brennan: Hodgins! Do boys change after highschool?
Hodgins: (smiles) Only on the outside. (walks away)

The knight on the grid [3.8]

Booth: Hey, look, Bones, you are gonna stay with a friend, check into a hotel, right?
Angela: She can stay with me.
Booth: Great.
Brennan: Thank you, no, why?
Cam: Mr. Kneecaps has your home address?
Brennan: I can't freak out everytime somebody googles me.
Booth: Cam, she goes nowhere alone.
Brennan: Cam, don't listen to him.
Booth: Cam, who are you more afraid of, me or her?
Brennan: Booth-
Cam: Whoa! (holds up one hand to get them to stop) So this is what it's like to be a kindergarden teacher.

Santa in the slush[3.9]

Sweets: I don't understand, has there been some kind of crisis?
Brennan: Yes I have a crisis.
Booth: Bones it was just mistletoe.
Brennan: Not the kiss, that was nothing
Sweets: You kissed?
Booth: Mistletoe.
Brennan: That's not the crisis.
Sweets: Was there tongue?
Booth: You know what, get your own sex life.
Brennan: That has nothing to do with sex.
Booth: Nothing! It was...
Brennan: Completely sexless.
Sweets: I'm all ears.
Booth: Could you just take your hat off there. (Sweets obeys)
Brennan: Booth, who is a very honest person, says that at this time of year deception is necessary for the happiness of little children.
Booth: I'm being misquoted
Sweets: Booth is absolutely right.
Booth: She got the jist.
Sweets: There is a fictional element to Christmas.
Brennan: You mean the whole birth of a savior rigmarole?
Booth: It is not rigmarole!
Sweets: No Dr. Brennan it's the feeling of Christmas. What people call the Christmas spirit. It's a kind of dream or hope we carry with us from childhood. But as adults...
Booth: Are you including you in that?
Sweets: As adults we're imbued by the pragmatic routines of daily life which make it difficult for us to regard anything with childlike wonder. But you know it's alright for us to try. We put on silly hats, drape trees in sparkly lights and wrap gifts in garish paper and that's good for us. It's not only alright to allow children the transient experience of innocence and joy, it's our responsibility
Brennan: Okay.
Booth: Okay?
Brennan: I found that very helpful.
Booth: That's what I've been saying the last four days!

[Brennan is asking Caroline for a letter so her dad can have Christmas in a conjugal trailer]
Brennan: So will you?
Caroline: I will.
Brennan: You will? Thank you!
Caroline: On one condition.
Brennan: Booth said you'd say that
.Caroline: Did he say I'd ask you to kiss him?
Brennan: (laughs) No. Are you?
Caroline: No cheeks, no noses, right on the lips.
Brennan: People kiss people on the nose?
Caroline: I want you to kiss him under some mistletoe.
Brennan: Kiss Booth?
Caroline: That's right cherie.
Brennan: Why?
Caroline: Because it will amuse me.
Brennan: Why?
Caroline: Because you're all Dr. Brennan and Special Agent Seeley Booth and it's Christmas and I have a puckish side that will not be denied.
Brennan: Puckish?
Caroline: What's the matter, you don't think I can be puckish?
Brennan: I never thought about it until now.
Caroline: You want me to write that letter you kiss Booth on the lips for no less than one steamboat, two steamboat, five steamboats.
Brennan: That's blackmail!
Caroline: That's correct.
Brennan: That's unethical.
Caroline: That's the deal take it or leave it.

The Man in the Mud [3.11]

Sheriff: (asking Booth)Is she serious?
Brennan: As serious as a gas attack.
Booth: (sighs)Heart attack, Bones. As serious as a heart attack

Player under pressure[3.11]

Brennan: I've changed my mind, she is not a smart girl. This is a terrible university.
Brennan: I thought you said you were just going to talk to him!
Booth: Yeah, well I saw his face and I got mad.
Brennan: Is she crying because she loved him, or because she lost a mansion?
Booth: (mouths) The mansion.

The Baby in the Bough[3.12]

Brennan: Elephants are not purple. This is wrong.

Booth: He looks a little fussy there why don't you pick him up and give him a cuddle.
Brennan: Just because I have breasts doesn't mean I have magical powers over infants!

Sheriff: There's not even a scratch on the boy. It's a miracle.
Brennan: Well hardly. Car seats are specifically engineered to protect the child.
Booth: From what? Flying out of the back of the car and landing in a tree?

Brennan: Stronchium is an element found in most rocks.
Hodgins: Human beings absorb it through the consumpion of local vegetation and water. Over time the isotope collects in the bones meaning --
Booth: You could use it to figue out where someone's from. (Brennan and Hodgins both look at him, shocked) That is right people I am a constant suprise.

Booth: Looks like our little guy's gonna be just fine. (Bones looks at him)
Booth: The little guy.
Bones: Andy.
Booth: Andy's gonna be just fine

Brennan: (Pointing at Andy) Hey look at that he flipped over!

Booth: Oh look at him, Bones. He looks a little fussy there. Why don't you pick him up and give him a cuddle.
Brennan: Just because I have breasts doesn't mean I have magical powers over infants. You're the one with a son.
Booth: All right. Fine. I'll take him. Here you go.
[hands the diaper bag to Bones]
Booth: You have fun with the diaper bag. You look good.
[picking up the baby]
Booth: Come here little man.

Brennan: You have no idea what that place is like, Booth. Med students, under funded, under staffed.
Booth: Bones.
Brennan: His mother is dead. His father is a felon. I've been in his situation, Booth. I'm *not* turning him over until I'm satisfied he is somewhere safe, where he'll get the care he deserves!
Booth: Fine. He can stay with us... for now.
Brennan: Thank you.

Brennan: No one filled a report, Booth. No one's worried about him.
Booth: Yeah, well you are.

Booth: First the key, now jewelry! What's next? You gonna let him play with a bowling ball?
Brennan: I'm *watching* him!

The verdict in the story[3.13]

Sweets: Dr. Brennan everyone you work with, including your therapist ...
Booth: Former therapist.
Sweets: ... is endevoring to imprison your father. That's wicked stressful.
Brennan: Booth is right. It doesn't bother me.
Sweets: No, Booth is wrong. Yes, it does.

Angela: All of us together and Brennan alone.
Zack: Not alone. (looking towards Brennan, Clark and Barron) She's with those African American people.

Booth: Bones was with me all day.
David Barron: She didn't have time to commit this murder?
Booth: No she did not.
David Barron: How did your son Parker get home from school that day?
Booth: ... 45 minutes we were apart, but we were on the phone.
David Barron: Plenty of time, wasn't it Agent Booth? Dr. Brennan could have burned the body hours later when you were safe at home. (Booth says nothing)
'Judge Haddoes: The witness will answer the question.
Booth: (whispering) That's a lot of heart, Bones.

Booth: Tell you what, why don't we make a deal where we allow him to study us and in return he gives us psychological profiling on demand.
Sweets: Okay.
Brennan: No, you like that sort of thing, but I don't see the point.
Booth: I just think that he doesn't want to admit that he likes us.
Brennan: Do you liiike us?
Sweets: What?
Booth: And he wants to spend time with us.
Brennan: Is that true Sweets? You like us?
Sweets: No.
Booth: He wants to spend time with us.
Booth and Brennan: (sing-song) He really likes us.
Sweets: Alright, you know what, I'm sorry I made the offer, I take it back, forget it. (walks off)

Booth: Could Bones have killed Kirby? ... Temperance Brennan, I've worked with this woman, I've stood over death with her, I've faced death down with her. Sweets is brilliant - he is, but he's wrong. ... She could not have done this.

Wannabe in the Weeds[3.14]

Bones: The guitar string could definitely be the murder weapon.
Booth: Cause it cut the cheese?

Bones: Does Tommy share your affection?
Pam: Why do you ask it like that? Because I don't look like a scarecrow? (to Booth) Like her?
Bones: Hey. Wha- what are you coming after me for? (to Booth) Do- do I look like a scarecrow?

Brennan: Until I was thirteen I wanted to be the next Cyndi Lauper.
Booth: I'd say your kidding but I don't think you know how to kid.
Brennan: The other girls and I referred to her as rad (laughs) My mother said I sang just as well. Booth: As well as Cyndi Lauper?
Brennan: Yes.
Sweets: Mothers do that. It's healthy.
Brennan: No it wasn't just flattery. My mother told me I sang "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" better than she did. (Booth Laughs)
Sweets: It was an expression of affection Dr. Brennan. Not an objective evaluation of your abilities.
Brennan: Well, I think you're wrong.
Booth: Okay then, go ahead, belt it out.
Brennan: No!
Sweets: Yeah, come on give us a few bars.
Booth: Come on ...
Brennan: I can't just burst into song. I have to have music and an appropriate atmosphere of frivolity.
Booth: Diva, forensic genius, best-selling author, beter than Cyndi Lauper ...

Sweets: Mocking will not change my opinion. I have been mocked many, many times before. (Booth and Bones exchange a look)
Sweets: That came out wrong.

Zack: My regimen is easily completed in my apartment. Treadmill for 30 minutes, 100 sit-ups, push-ups and leg-lifts, and then 20 minutes of free weights. I'm deceptively strong.
Cam: I am deceived!

Bones: Hey! Break down the door!
Booth: It hurts my shoulder when I break down the door!

The pain in the Heart[3.15]

Angela: Look, I know how you see things, and I respect that. But, I need to ask you a favor. I have to go to the funeral. I'm not going to be able to get through this alone. I've been crying for like, days. I really need you shoulder here. I need my best friend.

Brennan: That woman was aiming at me. I would have happily taken that bullet.

(Brennan hits man at funeral with fake arm)
Booth: Bones! Nice shot! ...What?
(Brennan angrily storms up and punches Booth too)

Brennan: I knew I shouldn't have gone to that funeral, it was a complete waste of time just like I said.
Booth: Wait a second, you thought that my funeral was a waste of time?
Cam: I thought it was a lovely service Booth.
Booth: Thank you! You know, I expected to see more people though...
Hodgins: I always imagined a lot of ex-girlfriends crying.
Booth: Yeah, me too.
Angela: You guys are pathetic.
Brennan: (to Booth) Just know, I won’t be attending your next funeral.
Booth: Bones, I'm telling you, you were supposed to know that I wasn't really dead, I swear! That's why I thought you weren't crying!

Zack: Is it a cake or is it a pickle?
Hodgins: It’s Schroedinger’s Cat.
Zack: That makes sense to me. Cakes and pickles mean nothing to me.

(Brennan walks in on Booth in the tub)
Brennan: I need to talk to you!
Booth: Ok what the hell Bones, I'm in my house, in my bathroom, in my bathtub! How the hell did you get in here anyway?
Brennan: Well that fake rock by your front door wouldn't fool anybody. Why are you wearing a hat that dispenses beer?
Booth: Hot tub plus cold beer equals warm beer. Hat equals solution. But why are you-
Brennan: And that cigar? Very unhealthy.
Booth: Ok, what the hell do you want now Bones, 'cause I'm not really feeling too relaxed.
Brennan: You should have told me that you weren't dead.
Booth: I already explained this to you. The bureau has to vet everyone when there is a security issue. I was just following protocol!
Brennan: Protocol?!
Booth: Yes!
Brennan: We've been partners for three years Booth, and you've broken protocol before! Sometimes putting my life in danger, which makes sense because you clearly don't have any real concern for me.
Booth: (standing up) I took a bullet for you!
Brennan: Once! That only goes so far! (pause) Would you like a towel?
Booth: Fine. What is it I should've done Bones? What did you want me to do?
Brennan: Well you could have called me. Did you really think I needed to be vetted by your boss? I mean don't you trust me?
Booth: Of course I do.
Brennan: Then why wasn't I told, it must have been something that you said.
Booth: No, I don't know why you weren't told.
Brennan: But you said that I should be. Aren't you curious why I wasn't?
Booth: Yes, do you want me to find out why you weren't told?
Brennan: If it's important to you.
Booth: Fine. I will. Next time I die, I promise that I will tell you.
Brennan: I'll look forward to that.
Booth: Me too. (opens comic book)
Brennan: What are you reading?
Booth: A novel. (pause) It's a graphic novel.
Brennan: Just so you know, I find your lack of Puritan modesty very refreshing.

Cam: A toothless cannibal just can’t cut it in today’s competitive serial killer climate.

Sweets: I think it’s interesting psychologically how Agent Booth’s constant efforts to persuade you to enjoy fruit pie could be interpreted as a type of seduction.

Brennan: It’s Zack. He’s the killer, Booth. It’s Zack.

Brennan: (to Zack) All of your assumptions are built upon a first principle, Zack. To wit, the historical human experience as a whole is more important than a single person's life.
Zack: Yes.
Brennan: Yet you risked it all so you wouldn't hurt Hodgins.

(Upon realizing that all of Zack's favorite things were given to him by his friends)
Brennan: I never gave him anything. (Booth finds and reads to her Zack's letter of acceptance to be Brennan's grad student, which was with his things)
Booth: I think you gave him something pretty great.

Bones Quotes Season 2

Temperanace.Booth — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 09:24:02 CDT

Add your favorite quotes here!

The Titan on the Tracks [2.1]

Booth: What did you do?
Bones: I read, walked on the beach, chilled...
Booth: You chilled? In Darfur? You chilled in Darfur?

Bones: What's with the siren? And why are you driving like a maniac?

Cam: Why are you still here, Dr. Brennan?
Bones: Because I'm not a coroner, and I don't work for you?
Cam: You got that half right.

Bones: One minute she's holding a severed arm, the next, she's hitting on you.
Booth: No, she wasn't hitting on me.

Bones: Do you see a skull?
Booth: Hey Bones, I'm not looking for a skull.

Booth: Oh, homicide! That makes it my case.
Cam: One of them's a senator.
Bones: That makes a difference?
Booth: Facts of life, Bones.

Angela: They have a past.
Hodgins: Cam and the senator?
Angela: Cam and Booth. Look how she touches his arm when he laughs.
Hodgins: You touch my arm when I laugh.
Angela: No, no. You touch me. It's a big difference.

Bones: More like a... (she makes an upward throwing motion)
Booth and Zack: Basketball.

Zach: You're saying "dude" way too much.

Hodgins: This is Warren Lynch.
Bones and Zack: Who's Warren Lynch?

Cam: Hey, Hodge-Podge, all engines reverse. First we identify beyond a shadow of a doubt, then we get paranoid.
Hodgins: Cool. As long as paranoia's on the schedule somewhere.

Bones: "Zackaroni"?
Zack: Cam noticed that I eat macaroni and cheese every day for lunch.
Bones: Every single day?
Zack: Yup.

Hodgins: It's a... very interesting case. Brennan identified skeletal remains as her mother's. Killed by a blow to the head. Initial suspect was her father, but in the end we arrested a pig farmer hitman in the Witness Protection Program, added wrinkle, but-
Cam: Dr. Hodgins? You're chattering me to death because you're hoping I'll forget you called me a "wanktard".
Hodgins: It's a... made up word. No meaning.

Booth: That's motive for murder.
Bones: How is losing money a motive?

Booth: "Casu Consulto." What does that mean?
Bones: "Accidentally on purpose."
Booth: Why do you know things like this?

Hodgins: It's 70% amorphous silicon dioxide. (Bones nods and leaves)
Booth: What's that?
Hodgins: It's like a common domestic container.
Booth: Oh! Like a jar. Why can't we just say, a jar?

Bones: Anything new, Zackaroni?
Booth: Zackaroni?

Zack: You shouldn't call me Zackaroni.
Bones: Yeah, I knew that the moment I said it.

Bones: "Task oriented" is a euphemism for "lacking overall perspective."
Angela: Oh, no. No! ...well, yeah. Yeah, a little. Like, when's my birthday?
Bones: I can get the computer to remind me about birthdays.
Angela: That's one of a gajillion examples!
Bones: You could tell me the other gajillion minus one.

Bones: Warren Lynch suffered declining bone mass, due to long-term abuse of his hypothalamic pituitary gonadal axis.
Booth: Nothing says "junkie" like your gonad's axis, Ricky.

Cam: Gas chromatography shows there's also fentanyl in the heroin.
Bones: What's that?
Zack: This reminds me of when you interviewed me to be your grad student. She knows what fentanyl is.

Cam: How'd I do? (she leaves)
Zack: I think she did quite well.

Bones: Tell me that's not a real skeleton.
Zack: No, we made him out of calcium phosphate and hydroxyapatite.
Hodgins: ...and SPAM.

Cam: Turn this off.
(Hodgins looks to Bones for approval, she nods)
Cam: Why wasn't I told about this?
Bones: I encourage independent inquiry.
Cam: Your encouragement does not signify my authorization.

Cam: If it happens again, I will take action. And I'm from New York, which means that I will take New York action. Am I clear?
Bones: Not at all.
Zack: I'm from Michigan.

Booth: Spam?
Bones: There were Mason jars in the backseat, intended to break when the train hit.
Booth: And they got this with SPAM?
Bones: Yeah, SPAM.
Booth: Mmm-hmm. And Cam, she got all... bent out of shape.
Bones: She wants to authorize all experiments.
Booth: Great, you know, Zack and Hodgins, they do an experiment with fake bones in SPAM...
Bones: What is your SPAM fixation?
Booth: Defense lawyer hears "SPAM," he makes a joke, and the jury laughs, and everything we get from the Jeffersonian is framed as "goofy science," you know, from a bunch of squints with no connection to the real world.
Bones: That wouldn't happen.
Booth: Oh, really, and the time you dropped a dead monkey down the elevator shaft...?
Bones: No, that was to show... okay, I take your point.

Bones: Okay, your words say "good," but your tone says "bad," so it's confusing.

(Booth is on the phone)
Bones: You know, Angela says that you and Cam had a sexual relationship. Does that affect your view of her?
Booth: (phone) Patch me though. (to Bones) Wildly out of line, just so you know that.

Cam: How accurate is this thing?
Bones: It's not the machine that's accurate, it's Angela. And she's good.
Cam: This is not Warren Lynch.
Angela: Hey, Zack provided a skull, and this is the face that goes with it.
Booth: (aside, to Bones) Could it be the wrong skull?
Bones: Zack doesn't make that kind of mistake. He's also very good.

Bones: You know, if drugs were legalized, they could be dispensed from clean, safe, controlled outlets by trained personnel. Not in alleyways by criminals.
Booth: Yeah, right.

Bones: We wait? For how long?
Booth: However long it takes.
Bones: Well, what do we do while we wait?
Booth: This is a stakeout. We converse.
Bones: Well, I tried to initiate conversation about the drug war, but...

Booth: You know, to connect.
Bones: She's dead.
Booth: Fine. You know what, forget it.
Bones: Dead. As in, gone from this world.
(pause. Bones leans over and taps Booth's shoulder)
Bones: Excuse me? I'm curious. When you... talk to the headstone? What do you say?
Booth: It looks like I'm talking to the headstone, but what I'm really saying is... forget about where the words are aimed. What I say, is that I remember them.
Bones: They can't hear you. ...because they're dead.
Booth: My mouth moves, words come out, but none seem to get across the drawbridge to the princess I know waits within.

Bones: Don't you have to read him his rights before you strangle him?

Bones: You shouldn't swallow heroin. It's dangerous.

Bones: I feel I should alert you. There's an additive in this heroin that causes overdoses.
Dealer: Hey, where'd you find her?
Booth: Museum.

Angela: We could both get fired. By your old sweetheart.
Booth: You know, you just, quit telling Bones who you think I've slept with.

Booth: Because it's basically herding cats, and you're a dog person.
Cam: Dogs herd cats.
Booth: Dogs... don't do that.

Booth: Gotta ask.
Cam: You so do not.
Booth: Did you take this job because of... (points to himself)
Cam: God, the ego!

Cam: Finds me intimidating, right? (Booth laughs) Hey, I intimidate people.
Booth: Yeah, Bones doesn't intimidate.

Booth: Have you seen the way she stares at human remains before she makes a decision?
Cam: Yes.
Booth: You're human remains, and... she hasn't made a decision yet.

Bones: Good people don't have other people murdered. Good people don't even know how.
Booth: Well, you father buried your mother in a pair of new shoes in a cemetery. With her dolphin belt buckle that reminded her of you because you both loved dolphins.
Bones: That does not make him a good man.
Booth: People can be more than one thing.

Bones: That NC-lots of A's, national championship ring?

Turco: And - wait, did I murder the junkie?
Booth: No, Bones said you probably found him dead.

Bones: Booth.
(he gets up and leaves, outside)
Bones: Do that lying thing!
Booth: Could you be more specific?
Bones: Tell him... Lynch woke up and gave a statement incriminating him.
Booth: Turco knows the lying thing.

Bones: Tell him Lynch said something that only Lynch could say.
Booth: Ooh, great idea, except for the "only Lynch could say it" part.

Bones: The part of you with a big gambling problem must love this idea.
Booth: Right there. Mmmhmm. That's the reason you didn't get Cam's job.

Angela: He killed three people.
Hodgins: And put one in a coma.
Zack: Yeah, but Lynch deserves to be in a coma, so it doesn't count.

Cam: But you put my people on the stand as expert witnesses and that's a sure thing.
Bones, Angela and Hodgins: Not Zack.

Bones: Never understood the idea of bringing flowers.
Booth: (hands her a bouquet) Just for once, Bones, do what people do. Kay? See how it feels.

Booth: See, you buried your mother as Christine Brennan, the woman that you knew as your mother, and not by her real name, Ruth Keenan. That tells me who you are.

Bones: My father was here.
Booth: Because he loves your mother, grieves her loss, and he came here to talk to her. (he takes the dolphin out of the evidence bag)
Bones: You're tainting evidence.
Booth: It's not that kind of evidence, Bones. It's evidence of something else. Something that can't be tainted.

The Mother and Child in the Bay [2.2]

Booth: It's amazing Bones, you can really be snotty sometimes.

Brennan: Does she think I'm new at this?

Cam: All I hear is blah, blah, blah.

Cam: The last place I worked we had a drunk sketch artist.

The Boy in the Shroud [2.3]

Booth: Holy mother of God.

Brennan: I hurt you a little bit, but that's only because you ran.

Hodgins: Tension, party of 2.

Angela: If you lose Brennan, you lose us all.

Zach Addy: I'm not used to bodies looking so much like actual human beings.

Booth: The squints would flee the Jeffersonian like the French army.

Booth: I'm with Bones, Cam. All the way. Don't doubt it for a second.

Booth: you have kids and then we'll talk.
Bones: thats alot to ask for a little conversation.

The Blonde in the Game [2.4]

Brennan: I always wanted a pig.

Hodgins: My uncle Preston wants to be buried standing up without a casket.

Angela: This is my bo-ho rocker, artist, mid-week, take-a-deep-breath-and-pout look.

Hodgins: These crossed hammers prove that Epps is working for the top level of the illuminati.

Brennan: Where's the siren on this thing?

Zach Addy: Perhaps the point isn't that German is a different language, but that it's actually a different language.

Hodgins: I can't just guess, I have a process!

Brennan: How can I take care of a pig, I can't even take care of plants.

The Truth in the Lye [2.5]

Brennan: And if you’re not helpless then why did you sleep with her?
Booth: Oh I really don’t recall saying that I did!
Brennan: Well you didn’t have to. I could hear it in your voice. I might as well have walked in on you having sex.
Booth: Oh you didn't and we weren't.
Brennan: It's nothing to be ashamed of Booth. Humans act upon a hierarchy of needs, and sex is very highly ranked. It's an anthropological inevitability.
Booth: Thank you Bones. I really appreciate you boiling me down to your anthropological inevitabilities
Brennan: Sure. Anytime.

The Girl in Suite 2103 [2.6]

Cam: It's a bluff. Cops do it all the time.
Booth: So you think if we frame Antonio, Judge Ramos will confess to save her own son.
Cam: What mother wouldn't?
Booth: Bones?
Brennan: No. No!
Cam: It's no different than lying to a criminal to get a confession.
Booth: Or having Hodgins call the FAA with a fake terrorism tip.
Cam: He did what?
Booth: Oh what, now suddenly there's a line?

Cam: There's a loop, people, and I'm in it! Not only am I in it....I'm the big....curvy part.

Brennan: Shouldn't we do something?
Booth: You kidding? Hodgins being abducted by men in black? It's a dream come true.

The Girl with the Curl [2.7]

Hodgins: What is she, a midget stripper?

Brennan: I miss organic chemistry class. Those were good times. Zach: I miss my first microscope.
Booth: I miss normal people.

Brennan: This is what happened when Rome fell...
Booth: What? People ate stale donuts?
Brennan: Objectification of women... Beauty as self-esteem... Booth: You know, I think, you know, some of those kids actually had a good time.
Brennan: That girl in pink could really dance but then again Nero could really play the fiddle.
Booth: You know, Bones, I like to think that, um, some place deep inside people really know what's important.
Brennan: It's hard to believe when you see women trying to disguise or change themselves. I never understood that.
Booth: Well, I mean, of course, you wouldn't.
Brennan: Why?
Booth: Well, it's just, you know someone who looks like you wouldn't...just because of the way you look.
Brennan: I don't understand. What way do I look?
Booth: Well, you know, you're structured... very well.
Brennan: As are you.

The Woman in the Sand [2.8]

Hodgins: You've never fought? Never thrown a punch?
Zach: Never saw the logic of it.
Hodgins: It's not about logic, it's, it's emotional, its anger!
Zach: I don't get angry, it's not rational...

Hodgins: What if I called you a scrawny twit who couldn't hold a conversation with a 10-year-old?
Zach: I don't have much in common with a 10-year-old, and although I don't know what a twit is, objectively, I am thin and do lack muscular definition.
Hodgins: Dude, you're a Vulcan and a dull Vulcan at that.

[Zach punches Jack in his face]
Hodgins: [smiles] Dude!
Zach: It's not what you think.
Hodgins: You got pissed!
Zach: No, striking you merely seemed to be the most practical way to get you to be quiet and focus on work - but I didn't realize how much it would hurt.
Hodgins: Nice punch though.
Zach: Thank you. And my dissertation will be finished by the end of the month.

Aliens in a Spaceship [2.9]

Vega: You know what, dislike me as much as you want, but I'm still gonna help you, because I want this bastard caught. [Vega and Janine get up and leave]
Brennan: You were kind of mean to them.
Booth: Yeah. Thanks.

Hodgins: Aluminum.
Brennan: Aluminum?
Hodgins: The Brits say Al-yu-mini-um, but it sounds, well, British.

Brennan: Has it occurred to you that God is a lot like the Grave Digger?
Booth: [absently] What? What?!
Brennan: He lays down the rules, no way to question Him or negotiate, then it's almost as though He doesn't care how it works out. Either you do as He says, make some sacrifices and are delivered or you don't and you end up in hell.
Booth: You know, I'd really appreciate if you didn't say things like that, 'cause I really don't want to get struck by lightning. [he crosses himself]

Booth: It was a mistake. The Grave Digger is not God, Bones, because God doesn't make mistakes.
Angela: Mmm, I don't know. Putting testicles on the outside didn't seem like such a great idea. [Booth nods in reluctant agreement]

Hodgins: If you haven't figured out the stun gun, then I am this week's King of the Lab, 'cause I found something huge.
Angela: You compete to be King of the Lab? [Hodgins notices her for the first time and becomes embarrassed]
Hodgins: [scoffs] No.

Cam: We'll go to a musical.
Booth: Talking and singing and talking and dancing and more singing? You know, if you want to stop what we're doing, just say so. Cam: You can fantasize about pulling out your gun and shooting everyone on stage. You know you like that.

Angela: You're going to pay the ransom, right?
Booth: Yes. FBI standard ops, they won't work. Grave Digger operates outside statistics.
Cam: They'll fire you.
Booth: Eh, that's cool. One less reason to wear a suit.

Brennan: We have water, towels, my mini kit, ibuprofen, two cell phones with no batteries, a digital camera with a backup battery, and, uh... a handful of pens.
Hodgins: That one's a laser pointer.
Brennan: [smiles as she holds up a book] And a copy of my novel. Hodgins: Hey, we can read to each other if we get bored.

Hodgins: And if we're buried more than four feet deep?
Brennan: Then the concussion will turn our brains to jelly.
Hodgins: [smiling good-naturedly] Well, then we can run for Congress, so it's a win-win.

Angela: I came to visit you at the hospital. I brought you this. [Holds up a toy teddy bear]
Jack: They... they let me go home.
Angela: No they didn't. You left without being discharged. You stole crutches, which I had to pay for.
Jack: They packed me... pumped me full of antibiotics. Dished me up and gave me painkillers. So... so, I'm... I'm good to go.
Angela: Could you please look at me? You were buried alive. You were operated on without an anesthetic. You were pumped full of drugs. You really should be lying down.
Jack: He's out there, Angela. He buries people alive. I have to catch him. If I can figure out the exact alloy of aluminum, then maybe I could... maybe we could... plus the bit of bumper sticker that Brennan found in my leg...
Angela: We're gonna catch him. Okay? I promise you. We're gonna start tomorrow. All of us together.
Jack: I can't sleep, Angela.
Angela: I thought they gave you something for that.
Jack: No, I mean. I'm afraid that... if I close my eyes... when I open them... I'm gonna be back in that car... buried... running out of air... Angela: Okay. Then you should come home with me.
Jack: What?
Angela: When you open your eyes, I'll be there.
Jack: Yeah?
Angela: Yeah. [pause]
Jack: You know I'm good for that crutch money.

[Sitting together in a church pew]
Brennan: If I were going to pray, I would have done it just before we set off the explosion.
Booth: And you didn't?
Brennan: No. See, if there was a God, which there isn't -
Booth: Shhh! Do you see where we are?!

The Headless Witch in the Woods [2.10]

Hodgins: Anyone else feeling tingly, or is it just me?

Zach: My palms perspired profusely during that film.

Brennan: You're very touchy lately, Booth.
Booth: Look, Bones, I don't know why I didn't tell you about Cam.
Brennan: Did I mention Cam?
Booth: I just didn't want it to get weird, I guess.
Brennan: Weird?
Booth: We're partners, you know, together all the time, alright? You're a woman, and I'm a man. I never had a relationship like this, where we were like two guys, except you're not, you know, a guy.
Brennan: No. No, I'm not. Should I feel odd about wanting to hang out with Will?
Booth: No, of course not. Cause essentially, you're a guy, like me, but not really.
Brennan: That would mean that to me, you are, essentially, a woman. (Booth looks at her) Yeah, I can see that.
Booth: No, no, no, no, I'd prefer not to be a woman, if you don't mind.
Brennan: I'm merely trying to follow your reasoning, Booth.

[Booth has arrested Will, he joins Brennan in her office]
Bones: I sure know how to pick 'em, don't I?
Booth: Well, you know, our perceptions are always colored by what we hope, what we fear, what we love. We do the best we can.
Bones: I'm afraid my best isn't good enough. I can read bones, not people.
Booth: Oh, you know, you had no trouble seeing through me.
[smiles at her and she smiles back]
Bones: It's a good thing I like being alone.
Booth: You know what, Bones? You're not alone. Okay?
[Brennan has turned her back to Booth, he touches her on the shoulder to turn her around, she hesitates, then turns to him]
Bones: Booth...
Booth: You're my partner, ok? It's a guy hug. Take it.
[they embrace tightly, Booth smiles thoughtfully and Brennan looks relieved, happy and safe]

Judas on a Pole [2.11]

(Zach is defending his thesis in front of Bones and other board members when Booth walks in.)
Booth: Hey, Bones, come on. We've got a body. Went up like a Roman candle ... hey, Zach! How's it going?
Zach: So far, they don't like me.
Booth: Shocker.

Booth: Come on. Let's go. (he pulls her up out of the chair)
Bones: What? I'm in the middle of something...
Booth: Well, ya know, real life murder and mutilation versus academic clap trap, no contest. (to committee) I'm sorry, no offense.

Booth: What was with Zach back there?
Bones: Defending his dissertation, last step before he gets his Doctorate. I think these are what's left of his intestines.
Booth: Is he gonna make it?
Bones: No. He's very dead. (she laughs at her own joke)

Cam: This is going to turn out to be some freaky, weird ritualistic thing, isn't it?
Hodgins: Oh man, I hope so.

Russ: He said, "you and your sister are in danger," and he hung up.
Bones: I spend half my time with a sniper-trained FBI Agent. I feel safe.

Bones: It's a long drive. You can start fresh tomorrow and I've got (she holds out her keys) cold beer in the fridge.
Booth: (enters) No, don't drink the Moroccan beer, it tastes like earwax.

Booth: Come on, let's go. (He pulls her up out of her chair)
Bones: Wha... what? Why do I always feel like you're abducting me?

Bones: His place is much better than yours. Ten times better.
Booth: I told you, he left public service. He makes, uh, more money than I.

Booth: (sees Bones trying to open a locked door with a credit card) What are ya doin'?
Bones: I've been practicing some of the black ops stuff you taught me.
Booth: Let me show ya.
Bones: Every FBI Agent in the country is looking for my father, maybe he's trying to scare us off.
Booth: Six months without a break in the case, he ain't gonna be nervous. Let me show ya...
Bones: You know, my dad's a career criminal. Just because he says Russ is in danger, doesn't mean it's the truth.
Booth: (takes the credit card) Let me show you how it's done, okay? (he kicks the door open)

Bones: I wouldn't let anyone else call you a loser, Russ. What makes you think you're allowed?
Russ: I love you, too.

Zach: Dr. Grayson touched me with an open hand on the shoulder.
Bones: You mean inappropriately?

Zach: I read a book on body language. Apparently in our culture, when an older male lays an open hand on a younger male, it conveys approval. But if he bumps younger male with a closed fist, it conveys doubt. Dr. Grayson went like this...
(pats Bones' shoulder with open hand 3 times)
Zach: Not like this...
(hits Bones' shoulder with a fist 3 times)
Zach: Like this...
(pats Bones' shoulder with open hand 3 times)
Zach: Not like this...
(hits Bones' shoulder with a fist 3 times. Bones looks annoyed)
Bones: Dr. Grayson is elderly and arthritic. Perhaps he simply needed help getting to his feet like this...
(pushes down on Zach's shoulder 3 times)

Father Coulter: It's private message.
Bones: Come to my office.
(they all follow her in - Father Coulter tries to close the door on Booth.)
Russ: She's just gonna tell Agent Booth anyway, might as well let him listen.

Father Coulter: Your father loves you.
Bones: Is that part of Dad's message?
Father Coulter: That's a personal observation.

Bones: And didn't tell you?
Booth: They're part of the conspiracy.
Bones: You must be annoyed.
Booth: Yeah. Ya know what? I am.

Booth: Ya know, Bones, I'll take a stand-up crook over a crooked cop any day of the week.

Booth: Okay, who else knows about this?
Hodgins: Us and you, that's it.
Booth: Let's keep it that way.
Hodgins: I've seen this movie, I get killed on the way home.
Booth: Then don't go home.
Hodgins: (laughs, then stops abruptly) You serious?

Russ: Who's that?
Booth: Deputy Director Kirby. My boss' boss' boss.

Bones: Can they do that? Just kick you out without any warning?
Booth: Well, the two guys standing behind me - with the guns - seemed to think so.

Booth: You know what hurts the most? They took the car. Got no wheels.
Zach: The bullets themselves, removed from the body, of course, but Hodgins found some very small fragments -
Hodgins: Copper, lead, polymer. This is a conspiracy, baby.
Cam: Guys. What we're dealing with here is that Booth won't be working with us anymore.
Booth: (to himself) Well, I got my own gun, it's just - god, why did they have to take the company car?
Zach: I assume the only way Booth can get his car back, would be to solve the case on his own and that we'd help.
Booth: Oh, no. No, no. I can't let you guys do that.
Bones: Anyone that wants to help Booth, raise their hands. (she does, followed by everyone else. Booth smiles.)

Cam: (to Zach) Jurors have to take you seriously, and frankly, you look like a weekend fill-in at a college radio station.
Hodgins: Truth hurts, dude. Learn from it and grow.

Booth: Why are you mad at me?
Bones: (sighs) I need a gun.
Booth: No, you don't. You got me. I'm your gun. You want equipment, here (he holds up handcuffs and puts them on the table) have these, alright? New division of labor: I shoot 'em, you cuff 'em.

Booth: Would that be the one world where you're mad at me for trying to catch your father or the other world where you actually want him caught?
Bones: Neither.
Booth: Well, you have to pick one.
Bones: Either!
Booth: Oh, mmhmm.
Bones: Both!

Bones: I wish you wouldn't keep letting me hug you when I get scared.
Booth: Hey, I get scared and I'll hug you. We'll call it even.

Booth: No, she can't be going places without me. Not when it's open season on Brennans.

Booth: Caroline, I gotta find Bones, keep her from gettin' killed...

Max: I'm sorry. Listen to me. If you find somebody that you can trust, you hang onto 'em. Remember that.

Max: (to Booth about Bones) You take care of her.

Angela: Lunch is on me, Dr. Addy. Anywhere you wanna go.
Zach: The diner.
Angela: Anywhere, I said.
Zach: I like the diner!

Bones: You know, I'm just... I'm just one of those people who doesn't get to be in a family. That's-
Booth: (he puts his finger under her chin, lifting her head) Listen, Bones, hey. There's more than one kind of family.

Booth: Nah, you know, he's your squints, not my squints.
Bones: No, Booth, we are all of us, your squints. Do me a favor and pat Zach on the shoulder with an open hand.
Booth: What? Why? Does that mean something?

The Man in the Cell [2.12]

(Angela and Brennan in her office talking about Epps)
Angela: How do you deal with the fear?
Brennan: I have this. (takes out huge gun from her purse)
Angela: Oh my God! That thing is huge. Woah, wow, that's like movie huge.
(Booth enters the office)
Booth: Where the hell did you get that?
Brennan: The mall.
Booth: (incredulously) The mall?
Brennan: Yeah. It's pretty big, right? Bigger than the one you have. (Angela chuckles reading the subtext)
Booth: Excuse me, it's not the size that matters. It's how you use it.
Brennan: Well, I think size is pretty important.
Booth: The point is that you shouldn't have a gun in the first place.
Angela:If you do have one, bigger is always better.
Booth: You're not helping.
Angela: Right. Yeah. This does seem like a private conversation.

Booth: (to Hodgins and Zack) I am walking out of here. You try and stop me again, I'll shoot both of you! (Booth walks out as Zack begins his search)
Zack: Uuughh...
Hodgins: What?
Zack: I really need him to come back.
Hodgins: (Yells) Booth! (to Zack) Whatever you got, better be worth dying for.

Angela: (about the newspaper article, to Hodgins) Did you really call me the heart of the operation?
Hodgins: Yeah, that's before you called me short.
Angela: Hey, Zack called you short. I think you're just the right height.
Hodgins: Yeah?
Angela: (nods) Short men have better leverage.
Zack: I'm feeling uncomfortable...

Hodgins: I can't find any traces of powder on Cam's clothing.
Zack: Did you search electro statically?
Hodgins: Yes, are you sure it was a powder?
Zack: (Insistently) Yes.
Hodgins: It had to be a gas.
Zack: If it were a gas I'd be in the hospital with Cam.
Hodgins: No particles on her clothing, (Impatiently) Zack, it had to be a gas.
Zack: It wasn't...are we having an argument?
Hodgins: Of course
Zack: Why?
Hodgins: Because Cam's dying, and I should be with Angela, and because there are no particles.
Zack: ...on the clothing.
Hodgins: That's right.
Zack: What about the glass parts still left in the head.
Hodgins: (His face suddenly lights up) I'm not angry with you anymore!

The Girl in the Gator [2.13]

Booth: I can't hear a thing!
Ice Cream Man: The kids love the music!
Brennan: Well, I don't see any kids.
Ice Cream Man: The music attracts them!

Booth: Look, I can't hear anything because of this insane music! [fires two shots into Ice Cream Clown]
Ice Cream Man: YOU SHOT MY CLOWN!
Booth: [into phone] Okay. Flight number? ...Thanks. [to Brennan] Okay! We're all set.
Brennan: That was not good.

Angela: "Step away please?" Just because you have your doctorate now doesn't mean I won't use you as a swizzle stick. Booth: Nah, it was an ice cream truck.

Dr. Wyatt: You have a good reason for firing on it?
Booth: Yeah, the music was bothering me.
Dr. Wyatt: Ah.

Dr.Wyatt: You are fit for physical labor, aren't you? I mean, the clown didn't return fire, did it?

Girl: We met so many guys. You know how it is.
Sully: I'm guessing she doesn't.

Brennan: You know, anthropologically speaking, you follow a very ancient tradition.
Monte: Okay... entrepreneur?
Brennan: Pimp.

Monte: Man, you have to spend all day with her?
Sully: Yeah, an actual woman. You should try it sometime.

Booth: Well, he jumped over that balcony because of her. [chuckles] Y'know, sometimes I think he had the right idea.

Dr. Wyatt: But shooting a clown is not a quiet rebellion. Shooting a clown is, quite literally, deafening.

Booth: Hey, Doc, why is it that every time I answer the phone, you walk away?
Dr. Wyatt: Why do you answer the phone knowing it'll make me walk away?

Hodgins: I clicked on a pop-up and got caught in a pornado.

Brennan: Keep your eyes open for a metal screw threaded thingy.

The Man in the Mansion [2.14]

Dr. Wyatt: Why don't we talk about the case you're working on at the moment?
Booth: Why?
Dr. Wyatt: Well, I am trained as a forensic psychologist. I might be able to help.
Booth: Okay, fine, great. I have a dead rich guy, works with at-risk youth, gets brutally murdered after confiscating a couple pounds of heroin from one of his kids.
Dr. Wyatt: Interesting that the first word you used to describe him is "rich".
Booth: Ah, second. The first description was dead.

The Bodies in the Book [2.15]

Angela: Testosterone spill on Aisle 4.

Hodgins: So, for kicks you read...
Cam: Feminist trash. You know. Woman finds her power, leaves her oppressive husband, discovers freedom and fulfillment with an artist who knows how to cry and make love like an animal.
Hodgins: So, sex books.
Cam: Pretty much, yeah.

Cam: (regarding the crabs that had eaten away most of the victim's face) Opportunistic little bastards.

The Boneless Bride in the River [2.16]

Zack: Positive ID on both sets of remains. William Chang and Li-Ling Fan.
Angela: (Looking at both skeletons and their pictures) Wow, they kind of go together.
Cam: Because they're deceased?
Angela: Yeah, but more than that, they are exactly the same level of hotness.
Cam: Which is zero, because they're skeletons.

Angela: She was ill and he was ill, it's really too bad they never actually met.
Cam: (To Zack) The mortician's lawyer advised him to clam up, the Changs now say that the twenty-five thousand dollars was used to pay off a family debt.
Angela: Ever think that their spirits actually did meet, and they're working to get their bones together here, in the physical plane? Cam: You mean like we're "possessed" into doing their bidding? Angela: (sighs) You know what you people lack? Whimsy. It's a genuine handicap.

Angela: (talking about the two skeletons) I am going to draw them a wedding picture.
Cam: Okay. Well, you do that, (turns to Zack) we should find out who poisoned the victim and arrest him for murder.
Zack: Probably the bouncing, flying mail-order husband. (Turns to Angela) Does that count as whimsy?
Angela: Well, you're handicapped, Zack. Someone really needs to throw a telethon for you.

The Priest in the Churchyard [2.17]

Booth: Don't knock therapy, ok? Dr. Wyatt has helped me realize there are certain pressures that build up on the job, and I need creative ways -
Brennan: [interjecting] We do everything together.
Seeley Booth: - of dealing with them.
Brennan: What exactly do you have to contend with on the job that I don't?
Booth: You, Bones. You don't have to contend with you.

Zach: (To Father Donlan) I'm Dr. Addy. Are you one of those priests who smack schoolchildren with rulers? Father Donlan: [icily] That's not allowed anymore.

Brennan: (To Lorraine) Do we take this, or do we need to serve a warrant on God?
Booth: (Grabs the chalice)

Brennan: (Trying to get Angela examined by Dr. Wyatt) Dr. Wyatt, we need you to do it with her.
Dr. Wyatt: [stammering] Well...I could but unfortunately, my heart belongs to another.

The Killer in the Concrete [2.18]

Cop: And when we dug up the cement -
Brennan: No, that's concrete. Cement is an ingredient in concrete.
Booth: Yeah, that's a real important distinction to make at this juncture.

Hodgins: Shot, stabbed, but lived to see another day? Rapstar.

Hodgins: Waffle-soled shoes and a track suit.
Cam: You know who wears track suits?
Zach: Athletes?
Cam: No, huge tubs of lard or retired people.

Booth: Angela did a facial reconstruction of this cementhead.
Brennan: Concretehead, you mean?
Booth: No, cementhead. It has a nicer ring.

Angela: I can't fight or shoot a gun but I can spit with great accuracy.

Player Under Pressure [2.19]

This ep did not go to air as it involved murder on a university campus shortly after the Virgina Tech shootings.

Spaceman in a Crater [2.20]

(Booth and Bones looking at splattered body parts)
Booth: Mmm. So, what do you think? Dead?

Booth: So we're gonna go with the theory that this was once human?
Bones: I've never read about an alien encounter in which the aliens wore loafers.
Booth: How much do you wanna bet Hodgins has?

Hodgins: This guy is wearing loafers. Aliens don't wear loafers, people.
Cam: Even if they want to pass unnoticed amongst us?
Booth: Before taking us over?
Hodgins: Oh. Oh, this is harassment.

Zack: I can run through the math if you'd like.
Booth: Send me an email.

Bones: This is... I want to say "anomalous," but I'm going to go with "weird."

Zack: I'd put him at a hundred and thirty.
Booth: Hundred and thirty what?
Bones: Years.
Cam: Old?
Bones: There's an alternate explanation.
Cam: Then that's the one we should go with.

Cam: Why do you know that?
Zack: My knowledge is vast.
Cam: Why did I ask?

Bones: I bet if you told the agency you were going to identify Colonel Howard to the press, they'd be a little more cooperative.
Booth: Yeah. You know, I have been a wonderful influence on you.

Nina: Excuse me. Can I see some ID please?
Booth: Well, yeah, sure. I'll show you mine if you show me yours... (she's unresponsive) Right. Here you go.

Booth: Hey, excuse me, "equivalent to a general" Sanborn?

Booth: The telescope is pointed up at the planet Pluto.
Hodgins: Pluto's no longer a planet. It was demoted.

Hodgins: Can I ask you a question?
Booth: Yeah.
Hodgins: What's the deal on proposing to, you know, a woman?
Booth: Oh!

Hodgins: I mean, what is the absolute proper way to do it?
Booth: I don't know. The one time I did it, I got shot down flat.

Hodgins: Did you do it by the book?
Booth: Mm-hmm. Well, no. We were waiting for the stick to turn blue or not to turn blue and I realized I wanted to marry her if the stick was blue or not.

Booth: You asked Angela to marry you?
Hodgins: Apparently I didn't do it right.
Booth: Do it again!

Booth: Go all out this time, right? With the dinner and the gettin' down on one knee, the violin. ...forget the violin.

Booth: Makes you feel small, doesn't it?
Bones: Because the picture's so big?
Booth: No, because the universe is so big.

Bones: Did you ever get drunk together?
James: What?
Booth: What my partner is trying to ask, is if you two were buddies. Did you go out and have drink and exchange confidence?
Bones: Yes, that's what I asked.

Bones: It was truly amazing.
Booth: You had a little bit too much fun, okay?

Booth: Hey, Bones, I ran a check on STC. They're part of the 'Tinfoil Hat Squad'.
Brennan: What's that?
Booth: They wear tin little hats, probably to keep aliens from controlling their minds.
Brennan: Oh, schizophrenics?

Zack: These bones are as human as you are.
Hodgins: Oh, if you only knew how irony-packed that is... It's a joke. Don't you be coming around to boil me in the middle of the night.

Hodgins: So it's a combination of human and alien technology.
Cam: Don't say that to Booth.

Cam: Why not just have the visitors toss him into the sun?
Hodgins: That is a good question.
Cam: No it's not.

Cam: The foil hat squad funds this guy? Booth is gonna love that.
Zack: Why?
Cam: Because he doesn't believe in coincidences.

Hodgins: How about a light saber?
Zack: No. Those can cut through any known substance. The victim would've been completely dismembered.
Hodgins: If they existed, Zack.

Bones: Somebody's lying to us, right?
Booth: Yeah. Maybe everybody.

Booth: You know what else I can tell just by looking at you? You smell great.
Zack: You cannot see smell.

Zack: The blade was moving at a velocity of approximately a hundred and sixteen meters per second.
Booth: What's that in American?

Booth: Because the warrant includes anything that is in plain sight.
Bones: "Plane" sight. Get it? It's a pun.

Hodgins: I am madly in love with you, Angela. And you, you are the most amazing woman I have ever met. My life is so much better since we-
Angela: Oh my god.
Hodgins: What?
Angela: Are you breaking up with me?
Hodgins: Why would I get you all dressed up for dinner just to break up?

Hodgins: You know, I had this all laid out in my head.
Angela: Mm-hmm.
Hodgins: You are an upsetting woman.
Angela: I'm sorry. Please. Go ahead.

Booth: Did you eat yet?
Bones: I said I'd wait.

Bones: See, I can't tell that stuff.
Booth: And I can't tell the difference between coral and bone, so I guess we make a great pair. Hey, speaking of marriage, Hodgins is gonna propose to Angela tonight.

Bones: I guess right now it looks to me like marriage is having someone who will slap your enemies and then toss their dead bodies out of airplanes.
Booth: Try not to mention that to Angela.

The Glowing Bones in the Old Stone House [2.21]

Hodgins: It's not like we get a human light bulb in here everyday.

Booth: Okay squint squad, why does she look like a human glow stick?

Hodgins: I am not a party trick!

Cam: Re-hydrates dried tissues and stops static cling.

Brennan: I'd back down if I were you, he shot a clown once.

Booth: Talk to me squints, as close to English as possible.

Hodgins: I don't understand. Why wasn't Abby killed too?
Cam: (inspecting the murder scene) Funny, but I haven't found a written confession yet.

Hodgins: Whoa, wait a minute.
Cam: What is it?
Hodgins: Ah ha, unidentified particulates. The two sweetest words I know.
Cam: I don't even want to think about your pillow talk with Angela.

Hodgins: No more. I'm done.
Booth: You're done with Angela?
Hodgins: (definitively) No. But, hey, I fell in love with a free spirit, and if getting married makes her feel trapped or something, then I'm, I'm just gonna have to deal with it.
Booth: Right. So, you don't want to get married anymore.
Hodgins: Sure I do.
Booth: You know, this whole ceramic stuff is making more sense to me.
Hodgins: But Angela doesn't. And I don't want to drive her away like you did with Rebecca.
Booth: Whoa, I did not drive Rebecca away. We both agreed that it wasn't right.
Hodgins: After you asked and she said no.
Booth: Well, when you say it like that, it's-
Hodgins: But if it had been right, it wouldn't matter if you were married or not, would it, because you'd have a life together.
Booth: Great, then why not get married.
Hodgins: Because then we wouldn't be able to be together, see, this is all becoming so clear now!
Booth: (laughs) Not really.
Hodgins: You put on that macho front, but inside you understand!
Booth: I don't understand.
Hodgins: That which the mind can't grasp...
Booth: All right, you know, I'm just trying to catch a murderer, but you seem to have gone way past that.
Hodgins: Means a lot, knowing that you get it, man. Most guys, not secure enough to admit that.
Booth: I have a headache. (his phone rings, he answers) Booth. Yeah, I'm on my way. Abby just (Hodgins hugs Booth) woke up. I need you to figure out what that stuff is. Okay. (Hodgins lets go) It's so much easier just to fight and shoot guns. Bones, she's awake, we're going!

Stargazer in a Puddle [2.22]

Brennan: "I would like to marry you."
Booth: Kind of sudden, Bones. Let me think about that
Brennan: No, Booth. That's what Angela [Booth starts to laugh] told Hodgins. Are you joking?

Booth: [on the phone with Hodgins] You know you didn't give me much time to put a bachelor party together.
Hodgins: No bachelor party.
Brennan: Is that Hodgins?
Booth: Yeah he wants me to be his best man. [to Hodgins] Well if there's no bachelor party what do you want me to do?
Hodgins: Stand there, make a toast, hand over the ring, tongue kiss the maid of honor at the reception when people clink glasses.
Booth: Nice, excellent okay who's the maid of honor?
Hodgins: No idea but most of Angela's friends are really hot.
Brennan: I'm the maid of honor. Why?

Billy Gibbons: Always play it in the key of G Demolished.
Hodgins: I...don't know what that means.

Bones Spoilers

Temperanace.Booth — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 15:03:23 CDT

Warning!! this page contains spoilers. Leave now if you do not want to know whats going to happen!! You have been warned!!

Tv guide.com

Season 5 spoilers!

Bones Episode Guides

Temperanace.Booth — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 14:43:54 CDT

Whats your favorite episode or which season do you prefer, heres you place to have your say.

Season One
Season Two
Season Three
Season Four
Season Five

Bones Characters

Temperanace.Booth — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 14:31:08 CDT

Main cast

Dr Temperance "Bones" Brennan	FBI Special Agent Seely Booth
Angela Montenegro	Dr Jack Hodgins
Dr Zack Addy	Dr Camille Saroyon

Dr Daniel Goodman	Dr Lance Sweets

Recurring characters
Max Keenan	Special Agent Tim Sullivan

Dr Gordon Wyatt	Russ Brennan
Howard Epps	Sam Cullen


Caroline Julian
Recurring characters

What bones character are you?, Click here

Find out which Bones character you are like, click here

Bones Quotes

Temperanace.Booth — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 14:01:56 CDT

This is where you can find quotes from the Bones TV Show across all seasons.

Bones Quotes Season One
Bones Quotes Season Two
Bones Quotes Season Three
Bones Quotes Season Four
Bones Quotes Season Five

Bones Quotes Season 1

Temperanace.Booth — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 11:36:39 CDT

Add your favorite quotes here!

Pilot [1.1]

Bones: Tell me you tried "excuse me" first.
Angela: Ah, Sweetie. Yes, I did. Welcome home. Are you exhausted? Was Guatemala awful? Was it horribly backward?
Bones: And yet, I was never reduced to flashing my boobs for information.

Angela: You know, diving head first in a pit of cadavers is no way to handle a messy breakup.
Bones: Angela, nothing Pete and I ever did was messy.
Angela: [laughs] Then you weren't doing the right things.

Bones: Look, I am sorry if I embarrassed you in front of your friends, but next time you should identify yourself before attacking me.

DHS Officer: Most people in this situation, what they do, is sweat.
Bones: Guatemala. Genocide. How are you scary after that?

Booth: Bones identifies bodies for us.
Bones: Don't call me Bones and I do more than identify.

Bones: That’s the best you can do?
Booth: What?
Bones: Getting Homeland Security to snatch me so you can stage a fake rescue.
Booth: Well at least I picked you up at the airport, huh?

Booth: A decomposed corpse was found this morning at Arlington National Cemetery...
Bones: Arlington National Cemetery is full of decomposed corpses. It's a cemetery.

Bones: [to Booth] If you drive one more block, I'm screaming "kidnap" out the window.

Booth: You know, you're not the only forensic anthropologist in town.
Bones: [laughs] Yes, I am. The next university is in Montreal. Parlez-vous français?

Booth: What's it going to take?
Bones: Full participation in the case.
Booth: Fine.
Bones: Not just lab work. Everything.
Booth: What? You want me to spit in my hand? We're Scully and Mulder.
Bones: I don't know what that means.

Booth: You know, in my line of work, no clothes usually means a sex crime.
Bones: In my line of work, it could also mean the victim favored natural fibers.
Zack: Your suit, for example, will outlast your bones by decades.

Booth: When did she die?
Bones: Ehh.
Zack: Ehh.
Booth: What does that even mean?
Zack: It means wait until our bug and slime guy takes a look.

Goodman: What's the rule, Mr. Addy?
Zack: You only converse with PhDs. You do realize I'm halfway through two doctorates. Two halves make a whole, so mathematically speaking...
Goodman: Go polish a bone, Mr. Addy.

Goodman: Dr. Brennan, are you playing me?
Bones: You know I'm no good at that.
Goodman: Hmm. Thus far. But you have a disturbingly steep learning curve.

(All looking at the hologram of a woman)
Bones: Does anyone recognize her?
Zack: Not me.
Angela: Wait. Is that who I think it is?
Zack: The girl who had the affair with the Senator.
Booth: Her name is Cleo Louise Eller. The only daughter to Ted and Sharon Eller. Last seen approximately nine p.m., April 6th, 2003 leaving the cardio-deluxe gym on Kay Street. She didn’t even make it to her car.
Bones: Pretty good memory.
Booth: Yeah, well it’s my job to find her.
Hodgins: Well in that case congratulations on your success.

Booth: Temperance, partners share things. Builds trust.
Bones: Since when are we partners?
Booth: I apologize for the assumption.

Bones: I hate psychology. It's a soft science.
Angela: I know, but people are mostly soft.
Bones: Except for their bones.

Bones: What if Booth is right? What if I'm only good with bones and lousy with people?
Angela: People like you.
Bones: I don't care if men like me.
Angela: Okay, interesting jump from 'people' to 'men,' but I'm sure it means nothing.
Bones: I hate psychology.

Bones: My most meaningful relationships are with dead people.

Hodgins: The Senator, ah, he is smart. He gets an intern pregnant, then murders her when it threatens his career. And he has the connections to get away with it.
Bones: I hate it when you make paranoia plausible. It's like sliding off a cliff.

Hodgins: In a nutshell, anxious, depressed and nauseous.
Bones: Take a sick day.

Booth: A case this big, the director is going to create a special investigation unit. And if I line my ducks up in a row, I can, maybe, head it up.
Bones: I don't know what that means, but I think maybe I can be a duck.

Booth: What are you trying to do?
Bones: Blackmail you.
Booth: Blackmail a federal agent.
Bones: Yes.
Booth: I don't like it.
Bones: I'm fairly certain you're not supposed to.
Booth: Fine. You're in.

Bones: [looking at the screen] What exactly am I supposed to be squinting at?
Booth: Ahh, you know, it's like pornography. You'll know when you see it.

Bones: You didn't come for your TV. You timed this for a booty call.

Zack: A good hypothesis withstands testing. That’s what makes it a good hypothesis.

Angela: Can I, as the only normal person in this room, say... eww?

Booth: He's got no sense of discretion, that kid. Typical squint.
Bones: I don't know what that means.
Booth: When cops get stuck we bring in people like you, ya know? Squints. You know, squint at things.
Bones: Oh, you mean people with very high IQs and basic reasoning skills?

Booth: You expect me, a federal agent, to declare war on a United States senator based on your little holographic crystal ball?
Bones: It's not magic. It's a logical recreation of events based on evidence.

Oliver: Will you sign my book?
Bones: Stalk me, Oliver, and I will kick your ass.

Oliver: He killed Cleo?
Booth: Yeah, he did.
Oliver: Then I'm okay with him bleeding to death.
Booth: That guy bleeds to death, Bones will go on trial for attempted murder. You don't want that, do you?
Oliver: No.
Booth: Plus, I understand that applying pressure to a wound can be extremely painful.

Angela: Is the FBI going to lay charges against Brennan?
Hodgins: She only shot him in the leg... once.
Booth: She didn't give him a warning. She just shot him... with alcohol on her breath.
Goodman: It was her first shooting, you can't expect her to be perfect right out of the gate.
Zack: How much warning did you give people before you sniped them?

The Man in the S.U.V. [1.2]

Bones: He thinks just because Masruk's wife started working out and had a little makeover, she's having an affair.
Angela: Hmm, and how long were they married?
Booth: Eleven years.
Angela: I'm with him.
Bones: There's no concrete proof.
Angela: Boobs perkier?
Booth: Mmm hmm.
Bones: I don't believe this. If you're so sure, then why didn't you confront her?
Angela: Because if she and her boyfriend were involved, she would warn him.
Booth: Very good.
Angela: I'm a constant surprise.

Bones: Isn't the FBI working on that?
Hodgins: Yes. It's just for fun.
Bones: To see who's better?
Hodgins: Maybe. A little. Yeah.
Bones: Good luck.

Booth: Can we talk about something else?
Bones: Sure. Tessa?
Booth: Tessa!? No. Why do you want to talk about Tessa?
Bones: What? Why? Why not? We won't talk about Tessa.

Booth: Okay, what's so funny?
Bones: I just never figured you being in a relationship.
Booth: Why? Do you think somethings wrong with me?
Bones: Not wrong. You just have alpha male attributes usually associated with a solitary existence.
Booth: What me? You're solitary.
Bones: No no, I'm private.

Agent Gibson: Dr. Brennan, I have jurisdiction.
Bones: Then why don't I destroy my notes and let you guarantee the identity of the remains.

Angela: Too bad we can't tell why he did it. Isn't that what we all want to know?

Hodgins: Someone seems really defensive about the FBI lately. You realize Booth is just another government stooge?

Angela: [referring to Brennan] Please, she's been sleeping alone for months! She has enough pent up sexual energy to power a small mid-western city.

Angela: There is trouble in paradise!
Bones: I beg your pardon?
Angela: Tessa does not feel secure in that relationship. I think she's threatened by you!
Bones: You talked to her?
Angela: Well, she didn’t say much but even though she has a phenomenal figure she was chowing down on a fat free muffin, and she was reading a book about unsolved FBI cases. Ah... She’s obviously feeling insecure.
Hodgins: She's spying for you?
Bones: No, no!
Zack: They have nothing in common. It's difficult to sublimate intense sexual attraction. And we hear it's been a while.

Zack: Isn't that the FBI's job?
Hodgins: What, you trust the FBI? You realize those guys are gonna suppress whatever they need to cover their asses!
Zack: [to Brennan] I found a portion of the clavicle.
Hodgins: Are you even listening?
Zack: No.
Hodgins: They have a separate division you know. That way their hands are always clean. In 1970...
Bones: Jack! We're trying to work!

Zack: If Smoky here had access to the president, why would he attack a café?
Bones: Smoky?
Zack: It's how I deal with stress.
Hodgins: Targeting everyday places causes panic. People stay home, the economy is crippled. It's Terrorism 101, man.

Angela: [to Booth] So, how many nights a week does "Sexy" sleep over?

Booth: We're dealing with someone here who devalues an entire culture; terrorizing people by using God to justify mass murder.
Bones: You're making it personal. That doesn't help.
Booth: It is personal, Bones. All of us die a little bit on one like this.

Bones: We'll find out who killed him, Booth. We've got Hamid's body. You can always count on the dead.

Booth: Trying to track down the doctor?
Bones: Don't need him. It's definitely a toxin, but we can't determine what kind.
Zack: Too bad the liver is cooked; that could tell us everything.
Booth: You know, I need subtitles walking in here.

Hodgins: I graduated top of my class, Rhodes Scholar, the youngest member inducted into the Academy of Physical Sciences, but [Brennan] still makes me feel like a cretin.
Zack: She apologized to me.

Angela: I think [Booth] likes you. God, if I were you, I'd buy a ticket on that ride.

The Boy In The Tree [1.3]

Zack: She said take a hint, but when I asked "what hint?" Naomi said if she told me what hint that it wouldn't be a hint anymore, it would be a statement.

Zack: I understood the individual words but I do not comprehend her meaning.
Angela: Did you tell Naomi that?
Zack: Yes. She said ask your friends if I have any.

Booth: Ah, you know I'm glad we had that little chat about being nice to the locals.
Bones: I don't like sheriffs. They are elected into office which means their goal is being re-elected, not finding the truth.

Booth: Can you identify him through the serial number?
Bones: That's correct but the interesting thing is that...
Booth: Ah, You can fill me in later.
Bones: No, but the interesting thing is that it's...
Booth: That is correct.
Bones: What?
Booth: That is interesting.
Bones: Are you drunk or something?
Booth: Ah, we'll catch up later and uh, thanks for calling.
Bones: Wait, I'm not completely certain the boy's death was a suicide.
Booth: Ah, you know, we'll grab some Chinese food and you can fill me in later on all the boring details.

[At the lab after the "boring details" phone call.]
Booth: What do you mean it's not a suicide? [A post leading up the stairs to the podium starts to beep and flash red rapidly.] What the hell is that?
Bones: We can't just let anyone step into the forensics area and contaminate all the boring details.
Booth: The boring details - [to Zack] Do not push me kid. [to Brennan] The boring details was my signal for you to stop talking, okay? I want my own card.
Bones: Well, I want my own gun.
Booth: Last time you had a gun you shot someone.
Zack: He was a bad guy.
Booth: Okay look, who's our victim?
Bones: All the boring details?
Booth: Let it go Bones, move on.
Bones: Don't call me Bones.

Booth: I don't... I don't like people who think they're better then other people.
Bones: Some people are better than other people.
Booth: Uh, you know what you said right there that is so un-American. All men are created equal, either you believe that or you don't.
Bones: Some people are smarter then others, there's no use being offended by the fact. What are we going to tell Nester's parents?
Booth: We tell them that their son was found dead. We're looking into it. Sorry for your loss and we are.
Bones: What?
Booth: Sorry for their loss. It's sad. Try to remember that.
Bones: Uh, I'm not a sociopath.
Booth: You're bad with people, okay. No use being offended by the fact.

Zack: What did Naomi mean when she said take a hint?
Hodgins: Ooh.
Zack: What did I do wrong?
Hodgins: It's not what you did wrong. It's what you didn't do.
Zack: Where do you learn this stuff?
Hodgins: There are some things you learn by doing… riding a bike, driving a car, pleasing a woman.
Zack: I can't ride a bike or drive a car.
Hodgins: Or apparently please a woman.
Zack: I need specific instructions, a list of techniques to implement or a sequence of moves.
Hodgins: I'm not really the guy to talk to about that.
Zack: Why not? You've slept with like ten thousand women.

Bones: You know what's a better question? What makes you think you get to decide what's relevant? You're basically the principal of a high school.

Booth: Maybe if you looked for more than the facts, you would be able to see the bigger pic-
Bones: Maybe if you opened your mind we could find out the actual truth.

Zack: I had sex with Naomi in Paleontology.
Angela: You mean actually in Paleontology?
Zack: No, at her place. I thought it went great but I could be wrong because apparently what I think is wild and kinky is basic and since she never called me back I'm wondering if it's because I lack imagination in the sack.
Angela: You know what Zack? I’m thinking this is more of a guy-guy conversation.

Zack: Sometime when you're not busy, I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions about sexual positions.
Booth: If you even try, I will take out my gun and shoot you between the eyes.

Booth: Well, this is where a public school education comes in handy. "Divide and conquer" was the playground motto.

Booth: We’ve got a dead body in a prep school out in the sticks.
Bones: Good morning to you too.
Zack: You're successful with woman, right? I mean, they like you?
Booth: Okay, look it's a very prestigious prep school with a lot of rich kids.
Bones: I thought that it was good to start with a "good morning."
Zack: (to Booth) If a woman said to you take a hint, what would that mean?
Booth: Could we just concentrate on the job? Thank you. Now I know the sheriff out there. She’s mostly okay, but the school got a lot of pull with the county and she's probably trying to scrape the whole case off on us. Look, what I'm trying to say is… it's not just a crime scene but it's a political situation so when we get out there you follow my lead and you pay attention.
Zack: (to Booth) You call after every sexual encounter, right? 'Cause that's the good thing to do.
Booth: Look, this is a work mode. This is a work zone. We do not talk sex at work.
Bones: First, you tell me I'm too task oriented. Then, when I say good morning, you say that I should concentrate on the job.
Booth: Okay look, we've got about a forty-five minute drive, what do you say we pass it in quiet meditation.

Angela: When you're with someone, the gymnastics aren't what matter. It's who you are. It's in your intentions and how much you care about the other person.
Zack: If you don't want to help me just say so.
Angela: Alright, I'm going to let you in on a secret. This is a female secret. Go to Naomi and tell her you don’t know anything about lovemaking... sex yeah... lovemaking you're a blank slate. You'll do anything she wants if she just introduces you to the secrets of love. She'll be more interested in that then if you were the most imaginative lover on the planet
Zack: That is totally counterintuitive.
Angela: Just do it, Z-man. Reap the benefits of my sexual wisdom.

The Man in the Bear [1.4]

Bones: An autopsy on an animal is called necropsy.
Booth: Yeah, it's pretty crucial we get that straight right off the bat. Meanwhile, about the dead human being?

Bones: Residual cross section striae.
Booth: Hmm... Just because you say it in that definitive tone doesn't mean it means anything to me.
...
Bones: I'm not going to Washington State.
Booth: Again, just because you say in that definitive tone doesn't mean it means anything to me.

Bones: Why is Booth the one who decides if we are going to Washington state? He gets the gun and the authority. He's the one that people like.
Dr. Goodman: Firstly, he didn't decide that you go to Washington state. He made a request. I'm the one who decides where you do and do not go.
Bones: And secondly?
Dr. Goodman: Secondly, It's time to live a little, Temperance. Connect with other people.
Bones: Are you suggesting that I take this opportunity to have sex with Booth on a field trip?
Dr. Goodman: Good God, where's Dr. Freud when you need him?
Bones: I don't understand what you are saying.
Dr. Goodman: Which is precisely why I am sending you to the great north woods. C'mon now, you have partially digested human remains to examine. That should put a smile on your face. The mosquitoes out there are the size of dogs, pack insect repellent.

Booth: You know being cooped up in a crappy hotel in the middle of nowhere with a fifty dollar per diem is not my idea of a good time either, you know.
Bones: You only get fifty dollars a day? How do you live on that?
Booth: Okay, what do you mean? What do you get?
Bones: I don't have a limit, I just give them the receipts.
Booth: Oh no, you have to have a limit. Everyone has a limit. We work for the government.
Bones: I don't have a limit.
Booth: But it's not fair. It's not fair to the tax payers. You could get one of those thousand dollar toilet seats.
Bones: I imagine I'm treated differently then you because I have an indispensable skill.
Booth: Oh right, indispensable. I do not need you.
Bones: Oh, so you can determine the origin of the curf marks as well as the sex and age of the victim?
Booth: [laughs] You know, you're a smart ass. You know that?
Bones: Objectively, I'd say I'm very smart, although it has nothing to do with my ass.

Booth: You know, it's beautiful here, feels good to be out of the city.
Bones: Yeah, where murderers feed their victims to bears.

[Brennan enters Charlie's shop, carrying the human hand in a box]
Charlie: Need a hand?
Bones: Thanks, but I'm trying to get rid of this one.

Charlie: [grabs the form Brennan filled out] Hey, Temperance Brennan, I'm reading your book. Gave me a few ideas if I ever want to kill someone and get rid of the body.
Bones: [laughs] Don't forget, Charlie, the heroine always catches the bad guy.

Booth: Oh yeah, now that you've met Bones you're all about the inner agency cooperation.
Sheriff: Bones? Now I don't think that is any way to talk to a lady.

Hodgins: All I am saying is, why cut somebody into pieces?
Zack: Pack'em up tighter maybe, say in a suitcase.
Hodgins: How did a bear open a suitcase?
Zack: I saw a documentary once where a bear got into a car and drove away.
Hodgins: That was not a documentary, it was a cartoon.

Sherman: Did you ever hear of the bone gatherers, collecting bones so that the dead can make their journey to the next world?
Bones: Not even sure I believe in the next world.
Sherman: Doesn't matter what you believe in. You're a bone gatherer. That's a good thing, helping the spirits move on.
Bones: Thank you. It's probably the best job description I will ever get.

Charlie: Do you do all the stuff the girl in your book does?
Bones: I'm slightly uncomfortable discussing that with you.
Charlie: No, I'm not talking about the sex. I'm talking about the running and the shooting. I mean, if you do do all that other stuff that's great too, for you and, um, whoever you're doing it with.

Bones: We don't just have a killer on our hands, we have a cannibal.

Bones: I've never been offered human flesh before.
Booth: But what if you had?
Bones: It's an interesting question. I would have to measure my own social inculcation against scientific inquiry.
Booth: Okay, that's sick.

[Talking by computer web cam]
Angela: Hey Booth, I have kind of a thing for tattoos. You got any?
Bones: Angela!
Angela: I'm sorry sweetie but what's with that town? You gettin' any from that hot overnight guy?
Bones: Ang, we're trying to work.
Angela: Is that town totally wasted on you sweetie, because I take this as a sign from God to loosen up. You know what they say, "what happens in Aurora stays in Aurora."

[Brennan and Booth in the car and Brennan is talking to Angela on the phone]
Angela: So did you catch the guy?
Bones: No, Booth lost him in the woods.
Booth: Whoa, wait a second. I didn't lose him.
Bones: Well, you didn't catch him.
Angela: So you two have the night free?
Bones: Yes, we can't do anything until I get a determination on that meat and Booth has to wait until it’s light to look for the guy he lost.
Booth: I didn't lose him, okay. He, uh, tell her that my flashlight died.
Bones: She doesn't care.
Angela: What?
Booth: Give me the phone.
Bones: [Holds phone away] It's not safe to drive and talk on the cell phone.
Angela: Are you two fighting?
Booth: Professional pride, tell her, please tell her that.
Bones: Booth wants you to know that he lost the guy because his flashlight died.
Booth: And because he's an Indian and he's a park ranger and he's very very familiar with the territory. Tell her that.
Bones: Did you hear that?
Angela: Yeah, something about Indian Territory.
Bones: Yeah, she says she understands.

[Booth has taken off his tie and unbuttoned the first couple buttons on his shirt]
Bones: What happened to your shirt?
Booth: Well, we’re in a bar, it’s a look.

Bones: Everybody is pumping me.
Booth: I'm sorry?
Bones: For information on the case.
Booth: Bones, they're only pretending to be interested in the case.
Bones: Why?
Booth: They're hitting on you.
Bones: [laughs] Are you sure?
Booth: Yes, I'm sure. You're the hottest thing this town has seen in a long time.

Angela: [to Hodgins] Did you work all night?
Hodgins: Yes, I shaved the truffle.
Angela: Is that anything like spanking the monkey?
Hodgins: I found boaring dust.
Angela: Is there any other kind?
Hodgins: Boaring dust is produced by beetles which mean the tree the truffle grew on was infested.
Zack: That's not going to impress Toni.
Hodgins: That's not why I did it. I did it to serve justice and capture a murderous cannibal.
Angela: That'll impress the hot courier.
Hodgins: I am back in the game.

Booth: Dr. Randall, if you... can you just bite these?
Denise: And if I were your cannibal, would I have pointed out that there were human bones in the bear after the autopsy?
Bones: An autopsy on an animal is called a necropsy.
Denise: Yeah, there's a reason I get all the guys and you don't. [She bites down on the dental mold.] Let me tell ya, if I ate Adam there wouldn't be anything left.

Bones: What if I have to shoot? What part of his body should I hit?
Booth: The part that isn't me. Just stay back.

Dr. Rigby: You don't understand it's a spiritual right to share the life force…
Booth: Look, you're nuts, okay, we get it. We don’t need to hear the rambling psycho speech on why you did it.
Dr. Rigby: You're an anthropologist. You know that ancient civilizations would sacrifice some in order to preserve the strength... [Brennan hits him from behind in the head with a bedpan. He goes down on the floor.]
Booth: What'd you do that for?
Bones: Nobody wants to hear that rambling psycho speech.
Booth: A bedpan? Hmm.

Hodgins: What are you doing here?
Angela: Are you kidding? It's like watching the clash of the horny titans.

Bones: And to think I didn't want to come here with you. I mean, this was a fascinating case. You don't often find ritual cannibalism practiced so close to home.
Booth: Which I find a plus.
Bones: There are always those individuals within a species who are driven to break the most basic taboos. I mean, Rigby actually ate human flesh.
Booth: Bones, I just got my steak and eggs.
Bones: Rigby has a prion disease, which means he’s been a cannibal for quite some time. Do you realize when we go to trial he could use the insanity defense?
Booth: The guy is nuts.
Bones: Yes, but is he nuts because he got a brain disease from eating human flesh, or was he already nuts the first time he ate flesh, or did he just lick his fingers after surgery?
Booth: I should just become a vegetarian.
Bones: Or as an alternative, just don't eat people.

Sheriff: We see this kind of thing all the time. Kids come up here, get baked, do their own version of the Blair Witch Project.
Bones: I don’t know what that means.
Booth: It’s a horror movie, Bones. Didn’t make any sense.
Sheriff: It was scary, though... with the... bloody handprints.

Bones: You know I’m going come back up here this winter. Charlie says the skiing is great.
Booth: Oh, it’s Charlie?
Bones: Yeah, the overnight guy.
Booth: Yeah, I know who he is.
Bones: I bet he’s a great skier. His hips and thighs are perfectly developed for strength and maneuverability.
Booth: (disgustedly, he drops his fork) That’s it, I’m done.
Bones: What? No good? You want some corn flakes? (she holds up the spoon and tries to feed him) Want some?
Booth: No.

A Boy In a Bush [1.5]

[Brennan is giving a lecture and has opened up the floor for questions. Booth is in the audience and stands up]
Booth: I have a question regarding the FBI in your book. Who do you base brilliant and insightful Special Agent Andy Lister on?
Dr. Goodman: Oh, for God's sake.
Booth: 'Cause, you know, I'm pretty sure it was me.

[Booth and Brennan approach her car, a silver Mercedes convertible.]
Booth: You gotta be kidding me.
Bones: What? My publishers gave it to me.
Booth: Gave it to you?
Bones: Book sales are pretty good. It's supposed to be a nice car.
Booth: Gave it to you?
Bones: Yeah.
Booth: Well, why'd you park it crooked?
Bones: The guy told me to always park it like that.
Booth: He's wrong. Makes you look like an idiot.

Cop: You mind if I make an observation?
Bones: No, of course not.
Cop: In your book, the cops come off as very one-dimensional. Why is that?
Bones: You mean two-dimensional.
Zack: One-dimensionality exists only in theory as a mathematical value.
Cop: O-kay. Really looking forward to your next book.

Bones: Did you bring the thermal imager?
Zack: I don't think we need it. (Bones glares at him) It makes me look like the Great Gazoo.
Bones: Okay, I don't know what that means, but we definitely need it, Zack.
Booth: (to Zack, in the thermal imaging suit) How's it going there, Darth? Seen anything on Saturn? (to Bones) Please tell me you've seen at least one Star Wars movie.
Bones: When I was seven, and leave Zack alone.

Dr. Goodman: When I said you should think of this invitation as a summons I understated it. It's a subpoena, a Grand Jury subpoena. Ignore it at your own peril.
Bones: You're not going to fire us if we don't go.
Dr. Goodman: No, not fire you, but I can move your parking spots to lot M. Enjoy the shuttle ride.
Zack: The shuttle smells like feet.

Zack: These are the smallest remains I've ever worked on.
Bones: That's a valid observation, Zack, but it's not helpful to the investigation.
Zack: Sorry, Dr. Brennan.
Bones: I was at Waco. Branch Davidian compound. I helped identify children who had been killed in the fire, seventeen of them.
Zack: So you're saying I'll get used to it?
Bones: No, I'm saying you will never get used to it. We're primates, social creatures, it's coded into our DNA to protect our young, even from each other.
Zack: So I'm always going to feel terrible?
Bones: What helps me is to pull back emotionally. Just... put your heart in a box.
Zack: I'm not good with metaphor, Dr. Brennan.
Bones: Focus on the details.
Zack: Details, yeah, I can do that.

Bones: Any way to enhance it?
Angela: Well, I wouldn't bet a date with Colin Farrell on it.
Bones: I know him. He's funny.
Angela: Funny is Will Ferrell, sweetie. Hot is Colin Farrell.

Bones: I'm afraid Angela might quit.
Booth: I'm amazed she stuck it out this long.
Bones: Why?
Booth: Well, because she's human. I'm sorry, Bones, it's just that, you know Angela didn't get the same training the rest of you got on planet Vulcan.

Booth: Whoa. He must be one of those Hodgins-es.
Zack: Who are those Hodgins-es?
Booth: I mean the Cantilever Group Hodgins.
Angela: Oh, my God.
Zack: The same Cantilever Group that generates more GNP than Europe?
Angela: Get this: they're the single biggest donors to the Jeffersonian Institute.
Booth: Ha! That makes Hodgins your boss!

Booth: Okay, if you can't see the guy's face, maybe you can grab a reflection.
Zack: (impressed) That's a workable idea.
Booth: Well, I'd say thanks, you know, if you didn't say it like it was some kind of miracle.

Hodgins: Chem Lab mass spectrometer identifies the particulates in Charlie Sanders' mouth as fluoride. (Bones is staring at her computer screen) I know that look.
Bones: What?
Hodgins: You're writing another book. When you write you get this stunned look on your face like you stuck a fork in a toaster.

Bones: Do you remember me, Sean?
Sean Cook: You're the museum lady, the one who's so smart.
Bones: Yeah, I'm pretty smart.
[outside the interrogation room]
Attorney: (sarcastically) And modest.
Booth: Oh, believe me, she is being modest.

Bones: By the way, there's a huge ding in my passenger side door because you told me not to park it at an angle.
Booth: (laughs)
Bones: Okay, that's just mean!

Dr. Goodman: You are the best of us, Miss Montenegro. You discern humanity in the wreck of a ruined human body. You give victims back their faces, their identities, you remind us all of why we're here in the first place... because we treasure human life. (Angela tears up and hugs Dr. Goodman, Bones walks in)
Bones: What happened?
Zack: Apparently, all Angela needed was to hear her job description in a deep, African-American tone.

The Man in the Wall [1.6]

Angela: TGIF? You heard of that?
Bones: Yeah, it's some kind of acronym, but my inbox is full.
Angela: We know that's not true.
Bones: And there's a TV show that needs research. Not that they listen.
Angela: We're going.
Bones: I really should catalog that skull, its in the museums exhibit on the French Revolution.
Angela: Yeah, Pepe Le Pu is more important then booze, and boys.
Bones: I don't think that's his name.

Angela: We are so going to tear it up tonight.
Bones: Wait, that’s slang, right?
Angela: Right.
Bones: Is my costume alright?
Angela: Sweetie, it’s not a costume, it’s a cute outfit, and yes, it looks perfect.

[yelling over the music]
Bones: It’s so tribal.
Angela: Don’t say tribal, sweetie.
Bones: Why? Oh, because of all the black people?

[an argument has started over Bones' use of the word "tribal"]
Girl: No, fool. She's using Descartes' philosophy to say she's down with the music.
Other Girl: Who you calling a fool, fool? (fight breaks out)

Agent: Are you sure she can handle this?
Booth: Look, no one in our lab knows the first thing about dealing with a mummy. I would have had to call her in anyway.
Agent: She assaulted two agents who were trying to tape off the body.
Bones: They were trying to compromise the remains!
Agent: A cloud of Meth covered the dance floor. I think they’ve inhaled quite a lot.
Booth: Are you two high?
Angela: Only by accident, so it doesn’t count.

[Bones is high]
Booth: You run this place, Mr. Hall, which is interesting to know, cause, you know, we found some drugs on this dead…
Bones: We found them. We found them.
Booth: Alright, we found some drugs on the dead guy. We’re going to want to know where they came from? Why he had them?
Bones: Why?
Booth: Why he had them?
Bones: Why he had them?

Hodgins: Chamomile tea? It's very soothing.
Bones: No, I just need your results.
Hodgins: How about a stick to pry the monkey off your back?

Bones: I grabbed a couple hours of sleep on my couch and showered in the lab's decontamination room.
Booth: Ooh, you really know how to live.

Hall: Rulz.
Booth: What rules?
Hall: That’s his name.

Bones: You’ve never danced?
Zack: I’ve been told I look like a marionette in a wind storm.

Bones: I’m not the one who’s snippy.
Booth: "Snippy?" What are you, like, seventy?

Bones: I think you should find a nice relaxing place to go on that vacation. Somewhere where you can get a massage, maybe do some yoga.
Booth: I don’t do yoga okay, push ups, sit ups, pull ups… that’s what I do.

Booth: Why exactly are we talking about this?
Bones: Because you’re tense.
Booth: Because we’re talking.

Bones: Yet much of the iconic quality of the urban music lies in the perceived or actual rivalry between the principal artists.
Hall: Where did you find her?
Booth: Museum.

Handler: I mean, so what, he drools a little. What’s up with that? You know, your eyes are kinda close together but I don’t comment.
Booth: I apologize.
Handler: Is he sincere?
Bones: (pauses, considers Booth) Yeah.
Handler: Alright then, we accept.

Bones: You did not murder Eve Warren.
Rulz: This is a weird kind of interrogation, huh? Cops telling me what I didn’t do.

Rulz: Mount was gonna jump.
Bones: You mean commit suicide?
Rulz: Where did you find her?
Booth: Museum.
Rulz: I mean labels, jump labels.

Booth: You know what? I’m going to spread the pain. Alright, that’s my new motto.(Booth turns and leaves. Bones chases behind him.)
Bones: Wait, I can help spread pain. Wait!

Bones: Hey Booth! Don’t break the cane. Arrest him and confiscate the cane as evidence.
Booth: What?
Bones: I need the cane.
Booth: Arrest him for what? (points to bodyguard) He’s the guy who pointed a gun at a Federal agent.
Bones: Uttering threats or smelling bad or anything.
Booth: Fine, here. Randal Hall, I’m placing you under arrest for the assault of a Federal agent.

Hodgins: Because you have arms like noodles while I'm vigorous and burly.

Bones: Not Booth. Booth did not baulk.
Angela: Sweetie, it’s always the guy.
Bones: No, Booth is not a baulker.

A Man on Death Row [1.7]

Booth: Name?
Bones: You know my name.
Booth: Bones, you are making an official request to the FBI to be allowed to carry a concealed weapon. I have to follow protocol.
Bones: Its ridiculous.
Booth: Fine. Then we're done here. Do you want to get some coffee?
Bones: My name is Dr. Temperance Brennan.
Booth: Reason for wanting a gun?
Bones: To shoot people.
Booth: Not a good response.
Bones: It's the truth.
Booth: You know, I'm writing "self defense in the performance of my duties pursuing suspected felons as contracted out to the FBI."
Bones: So I can shoot them.
Booth: Have you ever been charged with a felony?
Bones: Charged or convicted?
Booth: Charged.
Bones: You know I have.
Booth: I have to ask the questions.
Bones: Bureaucratic nonsense.
Booth: Never the less, name of the arresting officer?
Bones: You. (Booth gives her a look.) Special Agent Seeley Booth. Do you need me to spell that for you?
Booth: I can sound it out.

Booth: You can't have a gun.
Bones: Why not?
Booth: Because you were charged with a felony.
Bones: Write down that you were wrong to charge me.
Booth: Oh, there's no space for that.
Bones: Why did we go through all this if you were never going to give me a gun?
Booth: You have a constitutional right to apply for a weapon. I would never deny your constitutional right.
Bones: Well uh, I need a gun.
Booth: Rules are rules.
Bones: Tell them that I shot a murderer who was going to light me on fire.
Booth: Which is why you weren't convicted, but you did shoot an unarmed man. I... I can't ignore that. I swore an oath to protect society from people who shoot people.
Bones: It was only his leg, and he's in jail for the rest of his life. How much is he going to use it anyway?

Amy: Am I interrupting?
Booth: I told them not to let you in this building. I gave them a picture.
Amy: Which is why I wore the tiny skirt.
Booth: Very cute.

Amy: You work with Booth?
Bones: Yes, I'm a forensic anthropologist.
Amy: I'm a defense lawyer. I tend to work against Booth.
Booth: If it's all the same, I'd prefer you two didn't bond in any way.

[Hodgins and Zack are racing beetles]
Hodgins: What if they get mixed up?
Zack: I can tell them apart. (points to one) That's Jeff and (points to the other) that's Ollie. I win.
Hodgins: What? Wha... That one was mine!
Zack: You had Jeff. I had Ollie, Ollie won and you owe me a buck.
Hodgins: You want in on the action Angela?
Angela: No, thank you. I'm going to go have sex.

Angela: You sure you don't wanna come? Troy can call a friend.
Bones: (looking at bones) I've been waiting months for these. It's a partial skeleton from southern France. It's...
Angela: You know the whole point of the week, is the weekend. This is not the cabaret, my friend. Life is the cabaret. Come to the cabaret. (Bones stares at her) It's like describing the moon to a mole.

Booth: (notices the beetles) Okay, our tax dollars hard at work.
Hodgins: Yeah, what's break time at the FBI, book burning?

Angela: Look at this guy. He's cuter than a monkey with a puppy.

Booth: Hey Bones, what are you doing this weekend?
Bones: I have plans.
Booth: Come on, I'm serious.
Bones: Between your girlfriend the corporate lawyer and the defense lawyer on the side, your weekend must be completely booked. What is your thing with lawyers?
Booth: Uh, look seven years ago, a seventeen year old girl, April Wright, was found beaten to death in a federal park. Okay? Amy is just trying to stop the guy who did it from being executed.
Bones: So I guess we're not pursuing your lawyer obsession.

Bones: Let's see if these shadows are bone fragments or something else.
Booth: Like what?
Bones: Let's pretend we're objective scientists and not indulge in conjecture.

Bones: Zack, get a driver to take you over to Greenbelt Park. I want you to take pictures of the area where the body was, ground covering, paved areas.
Booth: Why does he need a driver?
Zack: [embarrassed] I can't drive.
Booth: You’re a genius who can’t drive?
Zack: If you know what I know about con-structural design, you wouldn’t drive either.

Zack: Most trecondi codes have a complex numerical cypher.
Hodgins: That's a fun factoid Zack, thank you.
Zack: 12402510221, that's the number they found on the victim.
Hodgins: Well, you’re the one with the photographic memory. I'm the one that's good with the ladies.

Troy: Hey? So uh, what exactly do they do here? Ah, I thought Angela was an artist.
Hodgins: She is. We do mostly forensic identification and reconstruction of discorporated remains. My specialty is entomology and particulates. Have you ever seen maggots? I just got these in.
Angela: Do not talk to him. Wait in the lounge, baby. It’s up those stairs right over there. Don’t talk to anybody.

Amy: So, you seeing each other?
Bones: Who?
Amy: You and Booth.
Bones: No. No, we're... we're working together.
Amy: Cause I'm picking up a bit of a sex vibe.
Bones: No, that's tension. He has a girlfriend.
Amy: Tall, blonde, beautiful?
Bones: Lawyer.
Amy: Figures... should've jumped him when I had the chance.
Bones: You’re really interested in Booth?
Amy: You aren’t?
Bones: No.
Amy: Well then why are you helping him?
Bones: Because he asked me. He said please.
Amy: Come on, you think he's hot?
Bones: No, not at all. This is a very interesting case.
Amy: Booth did say you had some kind of mania for the truth.
Bones: Mania as in maniac?
Amy: I'm not sure he meant it as a bad thing, (Bones stares at her) which obviously is how you're taking it.

Bones: There was doubt. We had an obligation to respect that doubt. We all share in the death of every human being.
Booth: Very poetic.
Bones: No, very literal. We all share DNA. When I look at a bone it's not some artifact that I can separate from myself. It's a part of a person who got here the same way I did. It should never be easy to take someone's life. I don't care who it is.

The Girl in the Fridge [1.8]

Bones: Angela, is this conversation really appropriate here?
Angela: Sorry, but I'm into alive people.

Zack: (excitedly) The Anthropology Journal is publishing our piece on the Coronals suture.
Bones: Worthy interruption. (Zack offers his fist to her, she looks confused)
Zack: You're supposed to bump my fist with yours.
Bones: Why?
Zack: I'm told it's a widely acknowledged gesture of mutual success. (puts his fist down)
Angela: I love it when you two impersonate earthlings.

Hodgins: Okay, now, this is weird. There's some guy in the lounge who asked me to give you this. (Hands a box to Brennan)
Angela: Is he alive? Because this is an excellent start to a relationship.
Hodgins: I didn't put a mirror under his nose or anything. (to Brennan) He said that you'd know who he was when you opened it. (Brennan opens the package, inspects the contents, then hurries out of the room)
Angela: Okay, a guy that gets her to stop working? This I have to see. (Angela leaves the room, quickly followed by Hodgins and Zack)

Bones: So why are you here?
Michael: George Washington University wants to talk to me about heading their Anthropology department.
Bones: They'd be lucky to get you.
Michael: I assume they tried you first.
Bones: I already had a job.

Hodgins: (Referring to Brennan and her gentleman caller) It's like watching cars mate.
Angela: It's got to be Michael. Stires. Her Forensic Anthropology professor from Northwestern. They were...
Hodgins: Very, very close? (Angela nods)
Zack: Dr. Brennan is my Forensic Anthropology professor. Does that mean -
Angela and Hodgins: (firmly, shaking their heads) No.

Zack: (to himself, trying to draw a logical conclusion) If she was his student, and I'm her student, then it follows...
Hodgins: Ain't gonna happen, Zack-O, not in this universe.

Bones: Not tonight. I have a dinner.
Booth: What? Wow. I just assumed that the two of you would be eating off an autopsy table.

Hodgins: Using a refrigerator to hide a body...kinda perfect isn't it?
Zack: A good way to remove the victim without being detected. The rubber gaskets seal in the odor.
Angela: Maybe the company should use that in their ads.

(Zack and Hodgins approach Michael like protective older brothers)
Hodgins: (arms crossed) You were Brennan’s professor?
Michael: She was twenty-three, an adult.
Hodgins: That’s what Clinton said.
Zack: You run through a lot of students?
Michael: That was a long time ago and Tempe was very advanced, more a colleague than a student.
Zack: I'm a pretty advanced student.
Michael: No offense, but I'm not interested.
Zack: No, uh, I meant me and her...
Hodgins: (laughs and bumps Zack's shoulder) Burn!

Angela: Where did you go to dinner last night?.
Bones: We wound up staying in. We need to know if that amount was accrued over time or was delivered in one large dose.
Angela: You didn't come back to the lab, did you?
Michael: I made frittata.
Angela: Oh, wow, he cooks too. Can we share him?

Booth: You know, when the regular stuff, when it gets old, you need to spice it up or it's over. The sex is good you don't need any help.
Bones: (smirking to herself) Yeah, that's for sure.
Booth: Sorry?
Bones: I was agreeing.
Booth: Yeah, well, don't. It kinda freaks me out.
Bones: I was just saying that I myself feel no inclination towards pain or dominance when it comes to sex.
Booth: Are you sure?
Bones: Yeah, I'm sure.
Booth: 'Cause you can be very bossy.
(She swats him with a crop from the evidence box)

Bones:(triumphantly) Her legs were bound.
Zach: There are erosion patterns from the bones rubbing together over time.
Booth: If this were the result of sex games, then the legs, they wouldn't be bound together. (Michael looks back at him skeptically) Oh, come on, you know? Lookin' for a little nooky, the last thing you tie together are the legs.

Booth: Bones. The judge is holding them without bail. The US attorney is thinking about sending you flowers.
Bones: Facts are facts.
Booth: Uh, Bones, I have to ask - how much have you been sharing with, uh, the professor?
Bones: (indignant) None of your business.
Booth: I mean on the case.

Booth: Bones, you okay?
Bones: Why wouldn't I be?
Booth: Oh, 'cause the nutty professor's graded your paper. What'd give you, anyway? I was always happy with a B.
Bones: I never got a B, and I never will.
Booth: That's my girl.

Jury Consultant: Juries don't like you.
Bones: Excuse me?
Jury Consultant: I've seen you testify before, Dr. Brennan. You come off as cold and aloof. I want to make sure -
Bones: Cold and aloof?
Jury Consultant: Try not interrupting, it makes you sound arrogant. Also, don't front load your testimony with technical crap.
Booth: (shaking his head warningly at the Jury Consultant) Look, this really is not the best approach.

Bones: How I feel doesn't matter. My job doesn't depend on it.
Levitt: But it's informed by it. Are you as cold and unfeeling as you seem?
Bones: I see a face on every skull. I can look at their bones and tell you how they walked, where they hurt. Maggie Schilling is real to me. The pain she suffered was real. Her hip was being eaten away by infection from lying on her side. Sure, like Dr. Stires said, the disease could contribute to that if you take it out of context, but you can’t break Maggie Schilling down into little pieces. She was a whole person who fought to free herself. Her wrists were broken from struggling against the handcuffs. The bones in her ankles were ground together because her feet were tied, and her side, her hip, and her shoulder were being eaten away by infection, and the more she struggled, the more pain she was in, so they gave her those drugs to keep her quiet. They gave her so much it killed her. These facts can’t be ignored or dismissed because you think I’m boring or obnoxious, because I don’t matter. What I feel doesn’t matter. Only she matters, only Maggie.

The Man in the Fallout Shelter [1.9]

Bones: I don’t like Secret Santa. The idea that we are forced by convention to exchange meaningless gifts is…
Angela: Yeah, yeah, yeah I know. If you rearrange Secret Santa though, you get Secret Satan.
Bones: What possible meaning could that have?
Angela: I’ve already had an eggnog, if you can’t tell. Now, how am I going to enjoy this party knowing that my best friend in the whole world is in the lab, eyeball to eyeball, with Skeletor?
Bones: Who?

Bones: Booth, will you escort Angela to the Christmas party and make sure she doesn’t photocopy her butt?

Bones: I thought that you were at the party.
Booth: Oh, that wasn’t a party, that was a Star Wars convention.

Angela: Hey, whose fault is this?
Hodgins: Who forced me to go to the party where I drank too much and had to hide from Crystal?
Angela: Who never should have cut into a bone with a drunken fool in the room?
Zack: Who brought us human remains just to ditch a little paper work?
Booth: Oh, wait, you’re saying this is my fault?
Dr. Goodman: You knew Dr. Brennan could not resist.
Bones: Well, I would have been able to resist if I was in *****, where I wanted to be.

Booth: What are those little tiny lights dancing on the ceiling?
Dr. Goodman: For the third time, those are minute firings of neurons on your optic nerve due to your reaction to the anti-fungal cocktail.
Booth: Wow, whoa. They’re beautiful.
Dr. Goodman: (laughs) You are stoned, Agent Booth.

Angela: It’s all so tragic. A cheap wedding ring sewn into his suit, two tickets to Paris, it makes you wonder who was the girl. Can you imagine what it was like for her, waiting and wondering never knowing what happened?
Bones: I don’t have to imagine.

Booth: Bones, it’s after midnight. Hmm? Christmas Eve Day. Both an eve and a day, it’s a Christmas miracle.
Bones: Still enjoying your medication, I see.

Booth: You don’t seem too upset about missing Christmas.
Bones: Indications are that Christ, if he existed, was born in late spring and the celebration of his birth was shifted to coincide with the pagan right of the winter solace so that early Christians weren’t persecuted.
Booth: What are you, like, the Christmas killer?
Bones: It’s the truth.
Booth: No it sounds like the truth because it’s so rational, right? But the… you know, the true truth is you hate Christmas so you just spout out all these facts and you ruin it for everyone else.
Bones: I ruin the true truth with facts?

Angela: Alright, we need a way to choose our Secret Santa’s.
Zack: I could build a random generator.
Dr. Goodman: Wouldn’t it be better to match complimentary people in a premeditated manner?
Hodgins: I’ve got five numbers in my head and five letters. You tell me the number and I’ll tell you the matching letter.
Dr. Goodman: Are the letters sequential or are the numbers sequential?
Hodgins: Sequential, we'll go in order oldest to youngest.
Zack: Six.
Hodgins: There’s no six.
Dr. Goodman: A through E and 1 through 5?
Booth: (holds out a canister with their names written out on slips on paper in front of them) Just pick a name and if you get your own put it back in.
Dr. Goodman: Oh. That could work.
Hodgins: Yeah that’s good.
Angela: Good idea.

Bones: Anthropologically speaking, gifts are a way of asserting dominance in a group. Now imagine an entire holiday devoted to self promotion, especially in this materialistic culture. How can you expect me to get behind that? How can you get behind that?
Booth: Wow, that’s… that’s deep. It’s a very deep pile of crap.
Bones: You came to me with information this morning, a peace offering, but it was to make you feel better, not me. Proves my point. (points to picture) Any idea what this is?
Booth: No.
Bones: Me neither, try Dr. Goodman.
Booth: You know Bones, you make it very very hard for me to be nice to you.

Hodgins: Puperia showed Lionel had valley fever.
Bones: We sorta knew that.
Hodgins: Wow, was that a shot? Because I apologized. I mean, Goodman doesn’t get to see his family. Zack doesn’t get to see his kids. Booth doesn’t get to see his son. At least I’m an accidental Grinch; with all due respect, you’re the Grinch on purpose.
Bones: I have no idea what you’re saying to me.
Hodgins: The Grinch is a relatively well known creation of a children’s author named Dr. Seuss.

Bones: I’m not really who you want to talk to about… Booth has a kid?
Hodgins: You didn’t know?
Bones: No.
Hodgins: I wasn’t the one who told you.

Dr. Goodman: The girlfriend was in trouble.
Angela: Pregnant in trouble?
Hodgins: Ooh, apparently Careful Lionel wasn’t so careful.
Booth: Marry a pregnant girl in Oklahoma in the late fifties.
Dr. Goodman: Do you suppose Lionel came up here to procure an abortion?
Angela: You know what? This isn’t a very Christmas Eve-type story.
Bones: Of course it is, the whole Christ myth has been built upon the derails of an unwed mother.
Booth: Okay, could we just stop bringing up the whole Christ myth thing? Some people believe it is more than just a myth.
Bones: Well, who besides you?
Dr. Goodman: That would be me, Dr. Brennan. I’m a deacon at my church.
Angela: I do, Christmas and Easter, anyway.
Hodgins: Although I believe organized religion is just another political movement designed to control the masses, it doesn’t mean God doesn’t love me.
Zack: Hey, I’m a rationalist empiricist all the way. Unless you talk to my mother. Then I’m Lutheran.

Angela: You have to find the girl and tell her what you know. Don’t you see? You can give her the answer that you never got.
Bones: Wha… Angela.
Angela: I’m sorry, sweetie, but it’s true. You have a chance here.
Bones: To say what? "Merry Christmas, Ivy Gillespie. Your fiancé was murdered and your life was ruined but hey, at least you get to know what happened to him."
Angela: Don’t you wish somebody had said that to you?
Bones: Yes. (she gets up and leaves)

Booth: You just gave somebody the best Christmas gift they could ever get. Who’s the secret Santa now?
Bones: Stop. (her voice activates the robot laying on the counter next to Booth. It starts doing push-ups. Booth looks at it)
Booth: Ooh. (laughs) That weirdo assistant of yours just made me the coolest dad in the world.

The Woman at the Airport [1.10]

Bones: (to Zack) X-rays, pictures, we’re going to do this without touching the actual skeleton as much as possible.
Zack: Kid gloves?
Bones: Latex should be alright. (pauses) Zack, were you being metaphoric?
Zack: I decided to give it a shot. Which is also metaphoric.

(Brennan’s office. She walks in and sees Booth sitting at her desk.)
Bones: I need a receptionist. I can’t just have anybody waltzing in here.

Bones: I can’t go to Los Angeles. I have an Iron Age warrior to authenticate.
Booth: Iron Age warrior, when was the Iron Age?
Bones: Fifteen hundred years ago.
Booth: Fresh body bits, just a little more urgent.
Bones: You do realize there are a lot more fresh bodies then there are perfect specimens from the Iron Age?
Booth: You know when you say things like that, it’s just to bug me, right?

(Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills, CA. Booth is driving a blue mustang convertible.)
Bones: This car doesn’t feel very FBI-y.
Booth: Bones, this is a nineteen sixty-six mustang. It’s a classic and what goes better than that with the FBI?
Bones: How come on the rental agreement under "model," you made the guy write sedan?
Booth: C’mon. We’re in California. (puts his arm behind her shoulders) Look, palm trees.
Bones: You know, I like to drive sometimes.
Booth: Look, our contact out here is Special Agent Trisha Finn.
Bones: I’m an excellent driver.
Booth: Okay, Rainman.
Bones: I don’t know what that means.
Booth: I’m always gonna drive. You know that, right? Me behind the wheel and you over there on the grandma side.
Bones: I’m not above telling Deputy Director Cullen what kind of car you rented. (cut to Brennan driving)

Hodgins: Look, there’s no bugs on him, haven’t been for over a thousand years.
Dr. Goodman: There may be spores and pollens, correct?
Hodgins: Probably not.
Dr. Goodman: Dozen of species of pollens have been discovered from the crustaceous era. How long ago was that?
Zack: (raises hand) Sixty-five million years. (Hodgins glares at him) That was a pretty good comeback.

Hodgins: We all know that you’re going to say, "I’m unable to authenticate with confidence."
Zack: Why would he do that?
Hodgins: When you declare something authentic, you run the risk of being proven wrong. That doesn’t happen if you equivocate. As head of the Jeffersonian, Dr. Goodman will place the reputation of the institution over everything else.
Dr. Goodman: I’m an archaeologist. My findings will be congruent with the facts.
Hodgins: With all due respect, you used to be an archaeologist. (Hodgins and Dr. Goodman glare at each other)
Zack: I have no idea what’s going on between you two right now.

Dr. Goodman: His bones bear the marks of battle. His weapons are of good quality, well used. He’s old for a warrior, yet how did he die Mr. Addy?
Zack: Looks like tuberculosis.
Dr. Goodman: A proud man. Not the ending he would have wanted, yet he was surrounded by family and friends, a good death. (Hodgins looks up at the ceiling and rolls his eyes, annoyed)
Hodgins: Oh, please. Now you’re describing a scene from Lord of the Rings.

Booth: Okay guys, let’s turn our attention back to the murder victim. I’d like to go pay a visit to Dr. Boobs.
Finn: Why? If implants were stolen from him, he won’t know anything.
Booth: Because it’s the only lead that we’ve got, Finn, and leads are great for screenplays, or even, say, if you’re actually working a real case.

Zack: I have something for you.
Angela: (sighs) Is it chocolate?
Zack: No.
Angela: Then I find my interest has flagged.

Zack: This is the type of situation where someone says, "Oh, my God."
Hodgins: Pretend you're a person and say it.
Zack: Oh, my God.

The Woman in the Car [1.11]

Stacy: I’m Stacy Goodyear and joining me on 'Wakeup DC' is Dr. Temperance Brennan. She’s the author of the best selling mystery novel, 'Bred in the Bone' and she’s also…now tell me if I get this wrong…an anthropologist who works with the FBI to solve crimes?
Bones: Yes, that’s correct. I use the bones of people who have been murdered or burned or blown up or eaten by animals or insects or just decomposed.
Stacy: Well, that’s exciting. Um, Dr. Brennan, your book has sold over three hundred thousand copies. How do you juggle twin careers as a best selling author and crime fighting scientist?
Bones: Well I do one, then the other.

Pickering: Didn’t I see you on television this morning, Dr. Brennan?
Bones: How could I possibly know what you watched on television? (she sees Booth and starts to walk over to him) Booth, I have to talk to you.
Pickering: Yeah, it was definitely her.

(Talking about Brennan's TV interview)
Bones: Okay, what did I do wrong?
Booth: Maybe next time tell a funny story. Oh, never say you don’t like children.
Bones: I didn’t say I don’t like children. I just said I don’t want any.
Booth: On TV that’s the same thing.

Bones: You arrest someone really small lately? Car seat in the back.
Booth: Oh, I had Parker for the weekend.
Bones: I don’t know how you do that.
Booth: Install a car seat in an FBI vehicle?
Bones: Bring a kid into this world knowing what you know. I’ll bet Parker was an accident, right? Because his mother wouldn’t marry you? (Booth laughs and shakes his head) What?
Booth: It never occurred to you that that might be a sensitive topic.
Bones: Well you could have gone with the very small felon story.
Booth: I’m better for Parker being in the world. Someday you will see that.
Bones: No I won’t.
Booth: You’ll change your mind.
Bones: Ah, I don’t do that.
Booth: You will.

Cullen: Well, at least nobody got shot. Probably cause she didn’t have a gun.

Pickering: When was the last time you saw your husband?
Angela: My husband?
Pickering: Yes.
Angela: Oh. (laughs) Oh. (chuckles) Wow, you mean that actually took? Really, it didn’t seem legal. We were in Fiji. You know, there was a fire dance. You know how those things can be, right?
Pickering: I really don’t, Miss Montenegro.
Angela: Right.

Booth: You know the ear you found? There’s no way it’s her own ear, right?
Bones: How could it be her own ear?
Booth: That’s what I’m saying.
Bones: What?
Booth: It’s definitely not her ear.
Bones: How could she bite off her own ear?

Hodgins: Okay, okay, so you’re telling me that my toe chewing moron cousin was appointed to a secret post in a secret part of the government you can’t tell me about so you compiled a secret dossier on me, but I’m the one who’s paranoid.
Pickering: We don’t use the word dossier.

Hodgins: What was the finding? I… I still work here so…
Pickering: Harmless.
Hodgins: Harmless? I’m harmless?
Pickering: Yes, you do not pose a viable threat.
Hodgins: Well that’s just insulting.
Pickering: If you want me to interview you, I will, but I will only discover what we already know. You are benign.
Hodgins: I am not benign, lady. I’m not harmless. I’m malignant! I’m a loaded cannon…
Pickering: Thank you Dr. Hodgins. (she walks away)
Hodgins: I know things that would curdle your blood, including a formula that literally curdles blood!

Pickering: Could we start please?
Zack: Anytime, I can do two things at once.
Pickering: Mr. Addy, I require your full attention.
Zack: No you don’t, but I’ll give it to you.
Pickering: What I need to do here is to establish that you are not a threat to the security of this country.
Zack: I’m getting a degree in Forensic Anthropology. I’m half way through another in Engineering. What are you afraid I will do? Build a race of criminal robots that will destroy the earth?
Pickering: Do you have that kind of fantasy often?
Zack: Very often.
Pickering: Does it concern you that such adolescent thoughts are a sign of emotional retardation?
Zack: I’ve been told. I’m working on it.
Pickering: Can you understand why that concerns us?
Zack: Not really.

Pickering: Hypothetically, you have a piece of information…
Zack: Secret and meaningful information?
Pickering: Yes, and the security of the country's at stake; can I bribe you to give it to me?
Zack: No.
Pickering: Threaten you?
Zack: No.
Pickering: What if I made a reasonable rational argument, very persuasive?
Zack: Merely persuasive?
Pickering: Irrefutable. I make an irrefutable argument as to why you should give me this piece of information. Would you do so?
Zack: Not without checking with Dr. Brennan or Angela first, see what they said, maybe Agent Booth if he would talk to me. He probably wouldn’t. I'd check with Dr. Hodgins but he’d say it was all part of some conspiracy... so I mostly only take his advice on women. Four hundred and eighty volts…three hundred and fifty amps.
Pickering: I beg your pardon?
Zack: It's sorta secret information. I probably shouldn’t tell you. Any other questions? Good.

Booth: The material witness for a specially convened grand jury and you lost him?
Weeks: The guy's pretty smart, genius level. Do you have any idea what it is like to interact with those types of people?
Booth: Yeah, a little.

Bones: You just told me not to jump to a conclusion.
Booth: No offense intended.
Bones: No, you were right! It’s just I usually get to tell you.
Booth: Well, our relationship has taken a whole new turn.

Booth: Alright, Zack! Zack! This guy Decker, he’s like you. He’s in the whole stratosphere IQ wise.
Zack: What's his IQ?
Booth: It's 163.
Bones: Oh, he's not where Zack is.
Zack: If he's in the stratosphere, I'm in the ionosphere.

Decker: Look, analytically, I understand that many lives outweigh the one, but I cannot trade my son's life.
Weeks: Have you considered that by not testifying your wife will have died in vain?
Cullen: Shut it, Weeks. If you people had protected Mr. Decker and his family properly, we wouldn’t even be here.

Pickering: Can you tell me what you were doing in Cuba?
Bones: Only if you tell me first.
Pickering: I beg your pardon?
Bones: I don't know your security clearance.
Pickering: Well what is your security clearance?
Bones: You should check with the state department.
Pickering: I'm from the state department.
Bones: Then that should make it easy for you.

Bones: Why don't we ever take my car?
Booth: Do you have bullet proof vests in the trunk?
Bones: No.
Booth: That's why.

The Superhero in the Alley [1.12]

Cullen: More than three cameras show up and some homicide detective kicks it up to his captain, who kicks it up to the chief, who kicks it to the FBI.
Booth: Bang! And kick it down to me, which I thank you, sir, for the opportunity.

Cullen: Booth, I want this closed. I don’t want to look at next Sunday's Post and read "Church kids find mystery corpse dressed for Halloween. FBI remains clueless."
Booth: I guarantee you won’t read that, sir.

Bones: Don’t use your charm smile on me.
Booth: What? (laughs) It’s a mark of respect. That’s all.

Zack: I never read comic books.
Hodgins: Really? I had you pegged for a graphic novel nut.
Zack: The uh, face and cranial vault are badly fractured. Blows to the parietal have sent radiating fracture lines to the mid frontal and anterior temple buttresses. (to Hodgins) Why?
Hodgins: Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate, Battlestar Galactica…

Booth: Sweet.
Bones: Sweet?
Booth: Ah, he has Batman number 127 featuring The Hammer of the Thor. This is worth about three hundred bucks.
Bones: Booth, are you a nerd?
Booth: First of all, you mean geek, and no, I’m not, okay? It’s quite normal for an American male to read comic books.

Bones: I find it hard to believe you have anything in common with Warren Granger.
Booth: Oh, you mean isolated with an inner secret life? No, okay. I’d say you were more like Warren.

Bones: Zack discovered some significant hairline peri fractures on the right and left ulnae. It’s his arms.
Booth: I know ulna means forearm. I pay attention.

(They enter the attic of a comic book store, where teenagers are standing around, wearing costumes.)
Booth: Guys, this is actually a real live woman, something you don’t see often.

Booth: What’s your name?
Abigail: Blue Minnow.
Booth: Okay guys, when I ask your names, I want the ones that your parents gave you.

Goodman: All writers reveal more of themselves then they intend on their page.
Booth: You know, I’ve gotta tell you, I never bought all that English 101 stuff. Sometimes a river is just a river.
Bones: (to Goodman) With all due respect, my writing for example is pure fiction.
Goodman: Dr. Brennan, I fear you reveal much more of your world view in your writing then you realize.
Bones: Such as?
Goodman: Such as, archaeologists make good administrators because they enjoy tedium.
Angela: Such as, artists are doomed to a life of loneliness because they are unable to think beyond instant gratification.
Booth: Such as, you know, FBI guys are hot and Angela here wants to have sex with me.
Angela: Yeah.

Hodgins: What are you reading?
Zack: I’m doing research.
Hodgins: By reading a comic book?
Zack: Intensely allegorical modern myths.
Hodgins: You’re reading Bugs Bunny, man.
Zack: On the surface, yes, but if you dig deeper the subtext becomes apparent. The conflict is representative of the Darwinian struggle between avians and mammals for dominance.
Hodgins: Based on Bugs giving Daffy Duck a cigar made out of dynamite?
Zack: Yeah. And then here... he explodes, but not really.

(At a bowling alley)
Booth: Do you smell that?
Bones: Yes, I do.
Booth: You know what that is, Bones?
Bones: Wax…popcorn…feet…deodorant.
Booth: That is America, Bones.

Booth: Ah, well my average is over 200, less then two opens per game, one match I had 211 strikes out of 431 shots. Twenty-nine opens, thirty-nine games.
Bones: What does that mean?
Booth: It means I won some bowling awards.
Bones: I won the Marshall A. Sixon award for my paper on Giorgio Romanus and physiological selection.
Booth: My God, it’s like we lead parallel lives.

Bones: You told her that her son didn’t tell her about being sick to make her feel better.
Booth: Mmm-hmm.
Bones: You don’t really believe that.
Booth: Well, people don’t actually do that.
Bones: So you just told her that to make her feel better?
Booth: Right.
Bones: So you just did what you said people don’t do.

Ellis: Dude, Abby’s cute in a chick geek kind of way but she’s definitely not that kind of baddy you go to the death chamber for.

Bones: You said before that Warren reminded you of me. You think I’m just like him, that he hid from life by immersing himself in a fantasy world where he fought crime and I do the same thing only I don’t have super powers. I... have science.
Booth: C’mon, Bones, you do fight crime. It’s not a fantasy. As far as any normal person is concerned, you do have super powers.
Bones: You’re just saying that to me.
Booth: No, I don’t do that.
Bones: Yes you do. You lied to Warren Granger’s mother to make her feel better. That seems to be your super power.

Bones: I noticed how you held yourself the last time I was here. I didn’t think anything of it, though viewed through the current context-
Lucy: What is she talking about?
Booth: She wants to know how you hurt yourself.

Bones: I’ll see you in the comic books, buster.
Ted: What?
Booth: Thanks, I’ll get this back to you. (he escorts Bones to the exit) It’s, “see you in the funny pages."
Bones: Okay, I took a liberty.

Booth: Bones! Talk about multiple hypotheses.
Bones: It’s a leap, yes but it was bound to happen, me spending so much time with you. I mean that as a compliment.

Booth: Yeah well, I mean, if you know you, it’s pretty obvious.
Bones: Well, give me an example.
Booth: Okay, well in your books, your partner is a former Olympic boxer who graduated from Harvard and spoke six different languages. In real life - you got me.
Bones: So what you’re saying is that reality falls far, far short of fictional.
Booth: Yeah, thanks a lot, Bones.

Bones: He wanted to make a difference in the world before he died. (Booth looks at her.) I told you he was more like you than me.

The Woman in the Garden [1.13]

Bones: Why did they call in the FBI to little Salvador?
Booth: Well you know, the car’s got Virginia plates, across state lines, and then there’s a suspected gang member, and then there’s Rico to deal with. Look, Bones, do you really want to know?
Bones: No, I was just using it as an excuse to make conversation and reestablish our connection.
Booth: What?
Bones: Well, I read a book about improving work relationships. It’s not fair to expect you to tell me everything.
Booth: I appreciate the effort, Bones.

Booth: Great, now he's ignoring us in two languages.

Hodgins: Typically grave diggers are necrophiliacs looking for a little action.
Angela: Um, eww.

Hodgins: In Pikeville, Tennessee, a guy dug up the graves of all these people 'cause he wanted to make sure their bodies were still there. They weren’t.

Villeda: What’s your problem, man?
Booth: What’s my problem? My problem is that somebody shot at me, shot at me and my partner plus you know, a bad guy got away. So I’m a little cranky about the whole thing.

Booth: Okay, Hodgins, suit up; you’re coming with us. We’re going to the Barrio.
Hodgins: Field work. Cool. Do I get a gun?
Bones: You… you can’t arm Hodgins and not me.
Booth: What is it with you people and the guns, huh?

Hodgins: Look at this. The government bankrupts itself giving tax breaks to the rich so there’s no money left to help these people with job training, educational resources, health care…
Booth: Just look for a garden with the plant.
Hodgins: Unless they land a job working for minimum wage that hasn’t seen a hike in eight years.
Bones: That’s for those who are here legally. The undocumented do a lot worse.
Booth: What is this, NPR radio, huh? What, are you two running for office?

Bones: Why would a gang leader cooperate?
Booth: I’m going to ask him very, very nicely, Bones.
Bones: You know that book I’m reading about getting along with your coworkers, it says that sarcasm is never helpful. I can lend it to you if you want.

Hodgins: Yeah, and here’s the kicker. There was also evidence of genetic material from a franklinia alatamaha on his shoe.
Booth: You’re kidding. I’m in shock, Frankie Alabama, you don’t say.
Bones: Did you hear what I said about sarcasm?

[Bones and Hodgins smile at each other and give each other a high five.]
Booth: (fake laughs) Okay, you guys should do that even less than normal people.

[Booth’s SUV. Booth is driving, Bones is in the passenger seat, and Hodgins is in back.]
Hodgins: I called shotgun. What does it mean to a society when the niceties are no longer observed?

Bones: I like puzzles. I find them relaxing. I just finished The Anatomy Lesson by Rembrandt.
Booth: You’re kidding, right?
Bones: What do you find relaxing?
Booth: I restore vintage cars.
Hodgins: I know what I find relaxing.
Booth: Everybody finds what you find relaxing, relaxing.

Booth: Let's pretend that I'm the cop for a second.

Zack: This is interesting.
Angela: Interesting or horrible? Cause sometimes it’s the same thing with you.

Bones: Are you mad at me?
Booth: No, but you know, I could have gotten something back there if you hadn’t gotten all mushy on me.
Bones: I was uncomfortable with… You always say I’m not a cop. You’re right, especially in a situation like that.
Booth: Well, it’s okay.

Booth: I’m going to call ICE and have you and your wife deported back to El Salvador.
Jose: I got a son.
Booth: Forget it, we keep the son.
Jose: That’s my son. It’s my only son. You got kids?
Booth: No.
Bones: What? Yes you do. (Booth gives her a look.)

Angela: You beat up a gang leader?
Bones: Booth told you that?
Angela: You did. You… got into a fight with a gang banger.

Hodgins: Am I interrupting a female moment?

(Booth sees Ortez walk down the alley and he jumps out of his car. Booth runs up behind him quietly, jerks him around and slams him into a wall.)
Ortez: What, are you crazy? This is my neighborhood.
Booth: You put a hit out on my partner?
Ortez: She's not FBI. (Booth punches him in the face. Then he grabs him by the throat and pulls out his gun. He puts the gun under his chin while he’s holding his neck.)
Booth: I never said anything about FBI. She’s my partner, see, and if anything happens to her, I will find you and I will kill you. I won’t think twice. Come here, look at my eyes. (he cocks his gun and puts it in Ortez’s mouth) Look at my face, if anything happens to her, I will kill you. This is between you and me. What nobody sees, nobody knows. You’ve got nothing to prove. You understand? You understand? (Ortez tries to say yeah.)
Booth: Yeah, I thought so. Now if you don’t mind, I’ll leave first, 'cause I’ve got somewhere I have to be. (Booth uncocks his gun, turns and takes a few steps. Then he turns around again quickly, cocks his gun, and aims it at Ortez’s head. He stares at him for a few moments then walks away.)

Booth: Am I in trouble?
Angela: You’re late for a funeral, of course you’re in trouble.
Booth: (to Bones) Sorry. I apologize. I… everything okay here?
Bones: Where were you?
Booth: I had something to do.
Bones: More important than a funeral?
Booth: I thought so at the time.

The Man in the Fairway [1.14]

Bones: Plane crashes don’t belong to the FBI.
Zack: Why not? FAA stands for Federal Aviation Administration. The NTSB stands for National Transportation Safety Board. That sounds Federal to me and FBI stands for Federal Bureau…
Bones: Zack.
Zack: This is the third time in a row we’ve investigated without Booth. I don’t like it.
Bones: Why? He mostly ignores you.
Zack: Ignoring me is Booth’s way of acknowledging my presence. It’s a guy thing.

Zack: What makes this one of our cases?
Ian: I beg your pardon?
Zack: We’re kind of special. We’re elite. We don’t sort though just any set of bodies.

Zack: I apologize if I've offended you. Usually we have an FBI agent that mediates our interpersonal encounters.

Bones: What are the odds?
Zack: A crashing plane falling directly on a human being? One in... ten million.

Dr. Goodman: The information that I’m about to tell you must not leave this room.
Hodgins: I am philosophically opposed to institutional secrecy in all its forms.
Dr. Goodman: Fine, get out.
Hodgins: (scoffs) Pfft.
Dr. Goodman: Two communist Chinese trade attachés were on that plane when it crashed, both high ranking party men.
Hodgins: Obviously, we shot it down.

Bones: Not to mention, three bone fragments which were not on the plane.
Dr. Goodman: Is there any chance those bone fragments were on the plane?
Angela: What, you mean as carry-on luggage?

Bones: (to Booth) Got it, or you want me to explain it again?

Bones: These fragments come from a person who was hacked.
Booth: Hacked to little bits?
Bones: No medium sized bits, not sure how it turned into little bits yet.

Bones: Dismemberment, little bits, it's a murder.
Booth: Well, FBI doesn’t have jurisdiction at a golf course.
Bones: Well, who does?
Booth: I don’t know. Try the PGA.

Booth: You know, you’ve done a couple of cases without me and you miss me.
Bones: Zack misses you, not me.
Booth: Zack and I don’t even talk.
Bones: He seems to think it’s a male bonding ritual.
Booth: Maybe he’s right.
Bones: No he’s not.
Booth: Could be.
Bones: You told him that so you wouldn’t have to talk to him.
Booth: Well, it was nicer then shooting him.
Bones: Goodman has ordered me to investigate the other extra body.
Booth: Well then you better get on that. Next time, you know, you miss me, pick up the phone, call me, we’ll do lunch or something.
Bones: I do not miss you!
Booth: Yeah you miss me. C’mon.
Bones: I do not miss you!
Booth: Say it. (A security guard walks in)
Guard: Dr. Brennan, Agent Booth, you have a visitor. (he leaves)
Booth: You miss me.
Bones: No I don’t. (she walks out)
Booth: You miss me. You miss me.

Kane: He doesn’t know what it’s like to lose a parent, you do.
Booth: (angry) You want to back down a jot there, buddy?

Booth: Okay, how do you know about the Chinese? (Kane ignores him and Booth snaps in his face and puts his hand in front of Bones' face) Do not look at Dr. Brennan, okay?

Kane: Do you mind if I ask you how many bone fragments you found?
Bones: Yes, I do. I don’t discuss ongoing investigations.
Booth: (smug) She doesn’t discuss ongoing investigations.

Bones: Will you help?
Booth: Well, you know, I guess if you’re uh, really asking me, I guess I could, uh, you know, fudge it with my boss to make it look like it was attached to the Chinese plane crash thing.

Angela: You mean after the Communist thing?
Bones: No, immediately.
Hodgins: I’m in.
Zack: You want us to defy Dr. Goodman.
Hodgins: I’m in.
Bones: Not defy, per say. Do both jobs, but keep one a secret.
Hodgins: I’m in.
Angela: We get it. You’re a rebel.

Bones: Booth is looking over your file now.
Kane: I wasn’t looking for his help.
Bones: We work together.

Booth: Subtle psychological indicators, Bones.
Bones: I looked those up on the internet: body language, sweat, tonal quality, shifty eyes.
Booth: Hey, you know what? I don’t go poking around your bones stuff, okay. Just leave the human stuff to me.

Zack: The victim was frozen, dismembered, and fed into a wood chipper.
Hodgins: And spread over a golf course.
Angela: Either talk loudly enough so I can hear all the way or whisper so I can’t.

Angela: I have a theory.
Hodgins: Femme fatal assassin.
Zack: Unregistered flight attendant.
Angela: Young, beautiful girl, doesn’t appear on the in flight manifest, group of high-powered politicos.
Hodgins: Oh.
Zack: Wait. What? What?
Bones: Someone on that flight might have been doing his daughter or girlfriend a favor.
Angela: Ugh, you’re so sweet, honey. You really are.
Zack: Oh, you think she was the in-flight entertainment.

Zack: So we’re going to drop this and get back to what Dr. Goodman told us to do in the first place?
Bones: No, we are going to keep doing what we are doing behind Goodman’s back.
Hodgins: That’s the spirit.

Booth: But if he could see you now...
Kane: I’d like to think he can see me now.
Bones: Your father is dead. A dead person can’t see anything.

Angela: I was being your wingman.
Bones: What’s that?

Booth: What’s more interesting than escorts?

Zack: No way!
Booth: [to Brennan] The correct response would be "yes way."
Bones: Oh. Yes way.

Bones: I feel like kicking him.
Booth: That's normal after a pursuit. We try not to do that.

Booth: You testing out my instincts, Bones?
Bones: Poking and prodding. I learned from the best. (pinches his cheek.)

Bones: I’m sorry, Jesse.
Kane: For what? Suspecting that I killed my own father?
Bones: No, I’m not sorry for that.

Booth: List the pertinence.
Zack: Me? Are you talking directly to me?
Booth: Yeah, you can tell because my eyes are looking at you. My mouth is aimed in your direction.
Zack: But what about our guy thing? If you’re speaking to me then does this mean I’m not on the team?

Bones: I want to ask you another favor.
Booth: Oh jeez, another favor.
Bones: I wonder if you wouldn’t mind taking a look at this. (slides the file over to him.)
Booth: The file on your parents? Yeah, okay.
Bones: Do you want to think about it? It’s a pretty big favor.
Booth: You’d do it for me.
Bones: Yeah, I would.
Booth: I’m proud you asked, Temperance.

Bones: You’re back to ignoring Zack?
Booth: Alright look, I know you don’t approve but, you know, it works for us; it worked for him so…
Bones: Yeah, I get it, and it’s kind of sweet.

Two Bodies in the Lab [1.15]

Zack: The remains show evidence of bullet wounds.
Hodgins: Which would explain why he has all those holes in him.

Hodgins: Should we really be involved in mob stuff? I mean, they're really into to the whole killing thing.

Bones: Ah, can't work tonight. Tomorrow morning is fine.
Angela: You have a date tonight.
Bones: It's not a date, it's a meal.
Hodgins: With a man?

Angela: You two know each other?
Bones: Well, I was at the Bureau when Booth took his coffee cup. Apparently they're both the "world's greatest FBI Agent".

Booth: You know, what ever happened to seeing someone across a crowded room, eyes meeting, that old black magic gets you in its spell?
Bones: There's no such thing as magic.
Booth: Oh, there's magic.
Bones: Are you here for a reason?

Bones: Ask them to save the excrement for Hodgins.

Bones: My reservation just got pushed by a few extra minutes.
Booth: Oh, a few extra minutes. Great.
Bones: What?
Booth: Nothing.
Bones: You disapprove?
Booth: I said great.
Bones: With attitude.
Booth: Don't go overboard with psychology. It's not your thing.

Bones: Look, I am an adult, Booth. I see men. I go out with them on occasion. I sleep with them.
Booth: Hey, you know what? That's cool, but you don't even know who this guy is that you're meeting.
Bones: I have trekked through Tibet avoiding the Chinese army. I think I can handle meeting someone for dinner.
Booth: Fine, you know what? You have fun with Dick431 or whatever his handle is.
Bones: Yeah, I will.
Booth: Good.
Bones: Thanks.
Booth: Fine.
Bones: Good.

Hodgins: I'm doing the fecal flotation right now. (pauses) Wow, don't get to say that a lot.

(After Bones has been in a drive-by shooting)
Angela: Are you sure you don't want a drink?
Zack: You know it wouldn't be difficult to someone to encode a secure data strip, implant it on an ID card with correct digitally encoded authentication data, and sneak in here.
Hodgins: That is possible.
Bones: Are you two going to help or not?
Angela: You know, Booth's pissed that you came here. He had more questions for you at the scene.
Bones: He just doesn't want to come here because he has to park in the structure.

Booth: Bones, what the hell are you doing?
Bones: Working. Why does everyone find that so odd?
Booth: Why? Oh, I don't know. Why? Because maybe an hour ago someone tried to kill you.

Booth: I don't think it's a good idea for you to continue to work these cases.
Bones: This is what I do, Booth.

Booth: Look Bones, I know it's hard for you to admit you're wrong about something, but I really don't care about your feelings right now, I'm more concerned with your life. So they're bringing your date in for interrogation, grab your coat.
Bones: I'm working.
Booth: Bones! I'm not letting you out of my sight until I find out who is trying to kill you.

David: Okay, I'm sorry. Did I miss something, 'cause I don't want to get in the way or between...?
Bones: What? Uh, no.
Booth: No.
Bones: No.
Booth: God.

Bones: Booth still doesn't approve, but I told him to mind his own business.
Angela: Hey, Booth is a big, strong, hot guy who wants to save your life. I mean, you actually have a knight in shining, FBI-standard issued body armor, so cut him some slack.

Booth: Let's go.
Bones: What?
Booth: Kenton is putting together everything he's got on Cugeni's disappearance.
Bones: I'm probably more valuable here.
Booth: No, you're definitely more valuable alive. Alright? I'm not leaving you alone. Come on.

Zack: If it's so dangerous here, why are you leaving us?
Booth: Big strong guy like you, huh? (punches him in the arm) You'll be able to take care of yourself.
Zack: (grimaces) Ow.

(Hollings is a suspect)
Hollings: I'm afraid without cause or a warrant...
Booth: Oh, you see I do have cause. You see this key here is from a federal building, it says "do not duplicate," and the other one looks like it was used in a burglary just around the corner and oh, since you did allow us into your home...
Hollings: This is very rude, Agent Booth.

Hodgins: The concrete used to sink Cugeni is composed of class F fly ash instead of Portland cement, which is very exciting.
Zack: Not yet.

Bones: Romano doesn't seem very worried.
Booth: Ah, it's hubris.
Bones: Good word.
Booth: Thank you.

(Bones holds up a large key ring)
Booth: Bones, how many keys do you need?
Bones: Car, house, lab, morgue... I need a lot of keys.

Booth: I'll sleep on the couch.
Bones: You think you're staying here with me?
Booth: Yeah. Nice place, by the way, Bones.

Booth: Kenton is on his way over. You have to promise me that you are going to stay with him.
Bones: I will.

Booth: Did they gather all the evidence from the explosion?
Bones: Yes.
Bones: You're sure?
Bones: Yes. Booth, I was there. They were very thorough and I was very annoying.

Booth: I'm fine. You know, I- I don't even know if- if I have to stay here. You know?
Bones: You got blown up.
Booth: I've been worse.

Kenton: You look like crap.
Booth: Yeah, well, a little bit more of this pudding and I'll be just fine, you know.

Booth: Stick with her.
Kenton: Yeah, if you want me to.
Bones: Don't you think I should be consulted?
Booth: No, keep her close.

Angela: Let's talk revenge, bloodlust.
Bones: The cathartic release we are looking for can only be achieved when we successfully gather enough evidence to neutralize the person or persons responsible for putting Booth in that hospital.
Zack: Neutralize can mean either kill or arrest.
Bones: Yes, it can mean either.

Angela: There's no ring, single or gay?
Kenton: Gay? Why would you say gay?
Angela: Brokeback, baby, gotta ask.

Hodgins: Hey.
Booth: Why are you here? Is Brennan alright?

Hodgins: People never tell me I'm right. They only say I'm crazy. Love you, man.

(Booth starts to sit up to get out of hospital bed.)
Hodgins: What the hell are you doing?
Booth: You're driving.
Hodgins: Cool.

Bones: No, I'm coming.
Kenton: Booth said it was pointless to argue.
Bones: He is a smart man, Booth.

Hodgins: Maybe that nurse was right to be pissed that you were leaving.

Hodgins: Hey, it is not your fault.
Booth: How could it not be my fault? It was my job to protect her, instead I hand her over to him.

Hodgins: Because he is dead?
Booth: Because he's dead.
Hodgins: This conspiracy thing is a lot more intense when you're in the middle of it.

Hodgins: "This uh, building." Oh yeah, that's really specific.
Booth: Well, crackheads aren't that detailed oriented.

Booth: We got to be careful.
Agent: There's no we, Booth.
Booth: Yeah, I'm going in with you.
Agent: You can barely stand.
Booth: I said, I'm going with you. Give me my gun.

(Booth groans from his injuries)
Hodgins: Maybe you shouldn't have had all that pudding...

(Booth saves Bones. She's still bound, and crying)
Booth: Oh, it's okay. I'm right here. It's all over. Okay. Shh. I'm right here, alright. It's all over. Shh, alright.

Bones: How did you get out of the hospital?
Booth: Hodgins gave me a ride. Maybe... maybe you could give me a ride back though, huh?

Booth: You know, I let you down, Bones. I'm sorry.
Bones: You saved my life.
Booth: Yeah but you know, I shouldn't... it shouldn't have gone down like that.
Bones: What a pair.

The Woman in the Tunnel [1.16]

Booth: (to Bones) You know Treasure of the Sierra Madre, but you don't know Charlize Theron? You know who you are? You're my grandmother.

Bones: You're nervous.
Angela: I'm not nervous. I'm scared. I don't know how to talk to crazy people, unless I'm dating them.

The Skull in the Desert [1.17]

The Man with the Bone [1.18]

Booth: Welcome to the dungeon.
Bones: Why does the FBI always stick their morgues in the most depressing basement they can find?
Booth: Don't be such a snob, Bones, okay? Not everyone gets to play in a multimillion dollar lab, you know... with skylights.
Bones: It's because as a society we feel the need to hide death away. The people who deal with the death are viewed as freaks.

Cullen: Okay, let me see if I get this straight. The pirate bones you recovered came from the Jeffersonian to start with.
Bones: Correct.
Dr. Goodman: 300-year-old bones stolen from our own pirate exhibit.
Cullen: And then recovered by own of your own people?
Booth: Dr. Hodgins.
Cullen: Who brought them back to the Jeffersonian, where they were stolen again?
Booth: Re-stolen, sir.
Cullen: You got a security problem, Dr. Goodman.
Dr. Goodman: And when I find out who did this, you may have a murder problem.

Security Guard: I didn't see the harm.
Bones: In stealing human remains?
Security Guard: After 300 years, it's not like he's got a family grieving for him out there.
Goodman: Think of me as a grieving parent.

Booth: Grand theft, buddy. You're looking at eight years.
Goodman: If I don't kill you.

Booth: How much did you get for 'em?
Security Guard: A couple of hundred bucks.
Booth: Yeah. So this, uh, wire transfer into your bank for ten grand - was that inheritance?

Booth: You know, you need a better screening process down at the museum.
Goodman: Ironic, given we contract that out to the FBI.

(Bones slaps Rose)
Booth: Woah, Bones!
Lawyer: That's assault.
Bones: Would a Special Forces guy have been able to stop that?
Booth: I don't know, you kind of got the jump on him there.
Bones: Well, this one won't be a surprise. You ready?
Rose: What? (Bones slaps him again)
Lawyer: This is common assault! Charges will be laid.
Booth: No way he's Special Ops, yeah it's just a lot of PR crap.
Bones: Alright, no more questions.

Hodgins: Hey, all for one and one for all, right?
Dean: That was the Three Musketeers.
Hodgins: Yeah, they were always pirate-y to me.

Booth: Guy was a Navy SEAL.
Bones: So? You were a guide.
Booth: A Ranger. I was a Ranger, Bones. Okay? I was not a guide. Guides, they show you waterfalls, they sell you cookies. I was a Ranger.

Bones: Are Rangers afraid of SEALS?
Booth: What? Come on, Bones. Wh-? Rangers aren't afraid of anybody... SEALS are pretty good, though.

Dean: You good enough to take that shot, before I cut this air hose, Ranger?
Booth: Pretty good.
Bones: What, just pretty good?
Booth: Please, I'm workin'!

Bones: This is a corpse. With skin.
Dr. Harry: Oh, she is good.

The Man in the Morgue [1.19]

Booth: Voodoo.. [laughs] Who's gonna believe that stuff?
Bones: It's a religion, no crazier than, well, what are you?
Booth: Catholic.
Bones: They believe in the same saints you do. And prayer. What they call spells, you call miracles. They have priests.
Booth: We don't make zombies.
Bones: Jesus rose from the dead after three days.
Booth: Jesus is not a zombie! Alright? Man, I shouldn't even have to tell you that.

Bones: Well, he's probably asleep. He's been working nights. Graham? Graham?
Booth: Cracker?

Bones: Voodoo healing is quite effective. No crazier than acupuncture or exorcism.
Booth: Hey, hey, easy on the Catholics, okay? Just... easy.

Caroline: I am doing you a favor taking this case, Booth. But as the lady cop says, I'm a prosecutor. And as it stands now, I could try this case in my PJs and still get a conviction.
Bones: Well, shouldn't you get to know your clients before you make snap judgments?

Booth: We just stopped by to ask why.
Detective Harding: Why?
Bones: That's what we came here to ask.
Detective Harding: You wanna look behind me and remind yourselves why I'm a little low on sense of humor.
Bones: Wha- That wasn't a joke...
Booth: Oh, no, she's not wisecracking. She just tends to be a bit literal.

Caroline: Fine. Stop me when I get something wrong. Trained in three types of martial arts, two assault charges, registered marksman with the NRA, hunting licenses in four states…
Booth: You hunt?
Bones: Only for food.
Caroline: Shot an unarmed man.
Bones: He was trying to set me on fire.
Booth: All right, just…just arrange bail for us Caroline so we can get out of here.
Caroline: Sure, sure. Don't want to get this one mad at me.

Booth: Bones! Stop. This is the last time and place that you want to be rational, okay? Let's just be wildly emotional and assume that you didn't psychotically murder a coworker who invited you over for dinner.

Hodgins: We both like brussel sprouts.
Zack: You don't like brussel sprouts.
Hodgins: A man can change, Zack.

Bones: Why are you nice to me?
Booth: Because. Because they think they get away with it.
Bones: What?
Booth: They burn their victim. They blow him up. They toss him in the ocean. They bury them in the desert. They throw ‘em to wood chippers. Sometimes, you know, years go by, they relax. Then they start living their lives like they didn't do anything wrong. Like they didn't spend somebody else's life in order to get what they got. They think they're safe from retribution. You make those bastards unsafe. That's why I'm nice to you.
Bones: I couldn't do that without you Booth.
Booth: Yeah. So, um, you should be a little nicer to me, huh?
Bones: I really should.

[In a telephone conversation]
Angela: Or, better still, you could forget the whole thing and come home.
Bones: Don't worry, I made bail.
Zack: Bail?
Angela: Bail? For what?
Bones: I told you, don't worry. The murder charge won't stick.
Hodgins: Whoa, whoa. Murder charge?
Angela: Brennan, the next plane, OK? The next plane, or I'm coming down there to get you myself.
Bones: Everything's fine. I'm healing up satisfactorily. Bye for now.

Bones: Booth, objects have no intrinsic power. A person's future does not depend on some thing. Things are just things. They do not have magical meaning or powers. [Booth shows her the missing earring he found] Where'd you get that?
Booth: What does it matter? It's just a thing. Right?
Bones: My mother's earring.
Booth: No, uh…magical power over your future. [Booth walks out]
Angela: Does that prove something?
Bones: [looking at earring] Yeah. It proves something.

Hodgins: They put the voodoo on you, baby! ...I didn't really mean to call you "baby."

[Murderer starts chanting voodoo spells, Brennan steps forward and pokes him in the eye.]
Bones: I find very few people are scary once they've been poked in the eye.

The Graft in the Girl [1.20]

Cullen: (to Booth) You heard the lady. You're cool.
Bones: (under her breath) Yeah, right.

Bones: Doctor, you performed Amy Cullen's graft, correct?
Doctor: Yes, but I just do the procedure, Ms. Brennan.
Booth: Doctor Brennan.
Doctor: MD?
Bones: PhD.
Doctor: Well, those who can't do, do research.
Booth: (stepping in) Okay...

Bones: Well, you can spit into four states from where we are right now.
Booth: What?
Bones: Not literally.

Zack: When your number's up, I guess, right? I never understood that saying, "when your number's up." Numbers and equations are quantitative and predictable. Everyone knows when a number's up.
Booth: How do you listen to this all day?
Bones: I find intelligence soothing.

Bones: In this case, I don't think so.
Booth: We don't think so. (they stare at each other)

Booth: (laughs) Ten grand? Geez, my bones are worth more than that.
Bones: What makes you so special?
Booth: (proudly) Three glasses of milk a day, I work out, and I eat right.

Booth: Alright, if it's not the widow Hastings, I'm doubling down on the mortician. Everybody in? (no one answers, to Hodgins) You in?

Booth: Come on, how much is that one?
Mortician: $7,000.
Booth: Bones, watch the scuff marks.

Bones: But, here's the kickster.
Booth: Kicker, Bones. Here's the kicker.
Bones: (upset) Oh...

The Soldier in the Grave [1.21]

Goodman: It's difficult knowing Kent will never play again. Makes the war so real.
Hodgins: Which is odd because it was all fiction that got us there in the first place.
Goodman: So you don't think we should stand up to tyrants?
Hodgins: Sure. I've been waitin' for the press to do that for three years now.

Bones: It's a necessary psychology of warfare. Heroes and villains. Without clear distinctions like that, we'd never be able to fight.

Bones: You believe somehow he's still here, watching?
Booth: Yeah. You don't. I get that.
Bones: I know you think he's a good man. That's... that's enough for me.

Booth: You could've just stayed back there and played with your bones.
Bones: I know. Just wanted to keep you company, that's all.
Booth: Company?
Bones: Yeah. I'm trying to be more sociable. You know?
Booth: Lousy liar.

Booth: It's just... it's another case.
Bones: You're not such a great liar yourself.

Bones: I'm your partner. Let me be your partner.

Bones: John Wayne syndrome.
Booth: Don't tell me you're gonna trash the Duke?
Bones: Wh- are you kidding? I love the Duke.
Booth: (impression) "I wouldn't have guessed that one, little lady."
Bones: Remember Stagecoach? (impression) "Listen, cowboy. Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway."
Booth: What was that? The Duke? That was horrible. That was like, Jerry Lewis.
Bones: Was not.

Bones: Now you're a mind reader.
Booth: Maybe. You want me to guess your weight?
Bones: You do and you could lose a tooth.

Angela: You have to think before you speak.
Bones: Why? I can say anything to you without thinking about it first.
Angela: Yeah, men aren't like us. They're much more fragile and needy. The fact that they think we're the needy ones is a testament to our superiority.

Bones: The M.E. marked seven entry points, but the report says there were only six bullets.
Zack: I could've done better with a Crayola.

Hodgins: Were you really mad before?
Angela: Why? Because of your strident, paranoid ramblings?
Hodgins: I'm guessing mad.

Hodgins: Can I at least give you some material to read?
Angela: You could try, but you'd walk funny for a week.

Hodgins: I know we don't see eye to eye on a lot of stuff, because, you know, politically, I think we live in an Orwellian nightmare due to-
Booth: What... what are you trying to say?
Hodgins: Just, I'm sorry, man. I really am.

Hodgins: Look, Angela. Look, I run on sometimes, I know. I guess I think if I yell loud enough, maybe someone will listen.
Angela: Well you have to be careful people don't go deaf. You know, what you did for Booth before... showing him you understood, that was good. Everyone hears something like that.

Hank: You never talked to anybody about it? You've got to. How about your girlfriend, that doctor?
Booth: Nah. No, she's... you know. She's just my partner.

Bones: This is hard for Booth. He's idealistic.
Angela: Well, it's nice to know somebody that wants to keep honor and responsibility alive.

Bones: I tell Booth we're on the same side. I'm not the one who's disillusioning him. It's my findings. But when I look at him, I... I don't know what else I can do.
Angela: I do.
Bones: Ange.
Angela: As a friend, Brennan.
Bones: Yeah, that whole "friends with benefits" thing, that's- that's not happening.
Angela: I'm not talking about that. I'm, I'm talking about being there for him. Knowing when a simple touch is enough.
Bones: Maybe I can write him a note. I can be very articulate on paper.

Booth: I don't know what you're fighting for, Fuller, but it sure as hell wasn't my country.

Booth: I've done some things.
Bones: I know.
Booth: No, no, you don't.
Bones: But it's okay.

Booth: You know, we all die a little bit, Bones. With each shot, we all die a little bit.

The Woman in Limbo [1.22]

Bones: (to Dr. Goodman) The last time I read from photocopies, the defense lawyer told the jury I was winging it.
Booth: (walks in) Ready? Chop, chop.
Bones: I can't find my original notes.
Booth: Photocopy in the file.
Bones: No. The last time the defense lawyer told the jury that I-
Booth: It was a play. It failed. Let's go.

Bones: What's up?
Zack: Buttercup. If you sign off on these tissue markers, Angela can finish the facial reconstruction.
Bones: Why did you say "buttercup"?
Zack: "What's up, buttercup" is an amusing, rhyming, linguistic meme. (points to skull) This is the latest Jane Doe from Limbo.
Booth: How 'bout this for an amusing, rhyming linguini. "See ya later, alligator."

Booth: So are you two, uh...?
David: Yeah, sort of. Is that a problem?
Booth: Yeah.

Angela: This totally freaked her out.
Zack: My theory: caffeine intolerance.

(Booth shows up at Bones' door with Chinese)
Bones: It's after midnight...
Booth: Well, I was driving by, I saw the lights. I thought you might like some Wong Foo's.
Bones: You saw my lights from the road?
Booth: That is correct.

(Booth enters)
Booth: I need the room, guys.
Zack: The whole lab? For what?
Hodgins: It's a cop way of saying, "get lost."

Russ: You're a cop.
Booth: You know who recognizes cops?
Russ: Other cops.
Booth: And crooks.

Hodgins: I used the laser scanning confocal microscope.
Angela: Which one is that?
Hodgins: It looks like an espresso machine.

Hodgins: We decided to tell you the truth... and this is the truth.

Booth: Alright, listen, Zack. If this guy moves, shoot him with a tranquilizer... dart... or something.
Zack: I don't actually have a tranquilizer gun...

Russ: Same old Tempe: never met a rule worth breaking.
Bones: Same old Russ: on parole.

Booth: (to Angela) Why do you think that Bones asked her boyfriend, you know, to, uh, read her book and not me? You know, maybe... maybe because there was just too much of me in the story. Oh, she was embarrassed. You think? May... maybe?

(in a crowded Evidence Processing warehouse)
Booth: Guys! Everyone! (whistles) I need the space! Now!
FBI Tech: What? Now?
Booth: Yeah. Now.
FBI Tech: Take five, everybody!
Bones: Twice in two days.

Bones: (to Angela) I miss that. Someone caring where I am all the time.
Booth: Bones! Bones! You up there?

Angela: Hate is easier to deal with than love, especially disappointed love.

Bones: If you keep bringing Chinese food in the middle of the night, we're both gonna get fat.

Booth: There's a story here we don't know yet.
Bones: Like what?
Booth: Bones, "don't know" means it's a mystery.

Zack: Dr. Brennan, is it morning?
Bones: No, I couldn't sleep. Why are you still here?
Zack: We're all here. No one's leaving until we figure out what happened to your mother.

Booth: If they don't cooperate, I'm gonna put his face in the paper.
Bones: Wouldn't you get in trouble for that?
Booth: Well, we'll find out. (leaves)
Angela: You know what? Sometimes, he is just... whew!

Bones: Three. .22 in the small of his back.
Booth: .22. I'm always right.
Bones: No, you're not.
Booth: Yes, I am. (notices Bones is aiming the .22) Bones, will you put the gun down.

Bones: (breaking down) I work at the Jeffersonian Institution. I'm a Forensic Anthropologist. I specialize in identif... in identifying... in identifying people when nobody knows who they are. My father was a science teacher. My mother was a bookkeeper. (she starts crying) My brother... I have a brother. I'm Dr. Temperance Brennan.
Booth: I know who you are. Hey. I know. (he pulls her in) It's okay. Shh. It's gonna be alright.

Booth: Maybe we'll get lucky and match the weapon he used on your mother.
Bones: It's unlikely.
Booth: In that case, we'll still ruin his day.

McVicker: (to Bones) I need to speak to you alone.
Booth: Forget it.
Bones: Booth, it's alright.
Booth: No.
Bones: It's alright.
Booth: (to McVicker) You got two ways to look at this. One is, you score a private chat. The second one is, you attack her and I'll drill you through the forehead.
McVicker: How could I possibly attack her?
Booth: I'll decide what is and isn't an attack - like, say, a hiccup.

Bones: Why are you letting me drive?
Booth: It's your reward.

Booth: Can I read your book?
Bones: After it comes out.
Booth: Not before?
Bones: No.
Booth: I let you drive.

Russ: You have a boy?
Booth: Yeah. (he looks at Bones' book. He sees the dedication: "This book is to my partner and friend, Special Agent Seeley Booth.)
Russ: The woman I'm seeing, she's got, uh, two daughters.
Booth: Nice. (he looks at Bones) Girls are nice.

Booth: To us.
Russ: Whoever the hell we are.
Bones: To what we're becoming.

Bones Books 2

rie181980 — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 13:34:35 CDT

Have reviews? Need to add the latest book? Do it here!

It's a summer of record-breaking heat in Charlotte, North Carolina and Dr Temperance Brennan is looking forward to her first vacation in years. She's almost out the door when the bones start appearing. First there's the newborn skeleton found in a wood stove. Who put the baby there? The mother, hardly more than a child herself, has disappeared. Next, a small plane flies into a rock face on a sunny afternoon. Both pilot and passenger are burned beyond recognition, their bodies covered with a strange black substance. What could it be? What sinister mission might the two have been on? Most puzzling is a cache of bones unearthed in a remote corner of the county. Some animal, some human, the bones are enough to keep Tempe busy for a long time. All the pieces of the mystery seem to lead back to an isolated farm. But what happened there and who will be the next victim? Tempe must find the answers by teasing secrets from the bones - if only she can decipher them in time... A superb new thriller from the number one bestselling author of Grave Secrets.

The freezing Montreal winter turns even colder when blue-eyed cop Andrew Ryan is too busy mounting a sting operation and squiring a fetching youngster around to pay much attention to the forensic anthropologist who's his sometime squeeze. Temperance Brennan can't even turn to her chum Anne for much solace because Anne, on a leave of absence from her marriage, is needy herself. Work is no consolation either, since Tempe is facing a riddle she can't solve. How old are the girls' bones discovered under a pizza shop? Maybe a hundred years, maybe less. Homicide cops Claudel and Charbonneau have more pressing matters to deal with-that sting, for instance. So Tempe goes a-hunting, determined to identify whose bones they are and what their history was. She uncovers a possible link to Montreal Mafioso Nick "The Knife" Cataneo and even stronger ties to a smarmy pawnbroker and his terrified girlfriend. But it is 21st-century forensic wizardry that leads Tempe to stomach-churning confrontations in which many are revealed to have been tortured, one more dies, Anne is concussed, and Tempe herself is practically incinerated

The latest gripping thriller from world class forensic anthropologist, Kathy Reichs, bestselling author of Bare Bones and Monday Mourning Temperance Brennan has a mystifying new case in this eighth novel from New York Times bestselling author and world-class forensic anthropologist Kathy Reichs. Tempe is called in to interpret the wounds of a man who was shot in the head, but while she tries to make sense of the fracture patterning, an unknown man slips her a photograph of a skeleton, telling her it holds the answer to the victim's death. Detective Andrew Ryan is also on the case and, as his relationship with Tempe heats up, together they try to figure out who this orthodox Jew in the Israeli "import business" really was. Was he involved in the black market trade in antiquities? And what is the significance of the photo? With the help of Jacob Drum, a biblical archaeologist and old friend from the University of North Carolina, Tempe follows the trail of clues all the way to Israel. In the Holy Land, she learns of a strange ossuary at Masada, a shroud, and a tomb that may have held the remains of Jesus's family. But the further she probes into the identity of the ancient skeleton, the more she seems to be putting herself in danger...

It's the second-to-last day of archaeological field school. Dr Temperance Brennan's students are working on a site of prehistoric graves on Dewees, a barrier island north of Charleston, South Carolina, when a decomposing body is uncovered in a shallow grave off a lonely beach... The skeleton is articulated, the bone fresh and the vertebrae still connected by soft-tissue; the remains are encased in rotted fabric and topped by wisps of pale, blond hair - a recent burial, and a case Tempe must take. Dental remains and skeletal gender and race indicators suggest that the deceased is a middle-aged white male - but who was he? Why was he buried in a clandestine grave? And what does the unusual vertical hairline fracture of the sixth cervical vertebrae signify? While Tempe is trying to piece together the evidence, her personal life is thrown into turmoil. When a bullet - intended, perhaps, for her - puts Tempe's estranged husband Pete in hospital, her unexpectedly emotional response complicates her on-off relationship with Detective Andrew Ryan... But before long, another body is discovered - and Tempe finds herself drawn deeper into a shocking and chilling investigation, set to challenge her entire view of humanity...

Under the microscope, the outer bone surface is a moonscape of craters...'Preliminary diagnosis?' 'Deformity of the bone. Maybe. Cortical destruction on a metacarpal. Maybe. Localised infection? Systemic disease process? Postmortem destruction, either purposeful or natural? A combination of the above? I don't have a diagnosis...' The skeleton is that of a young girl, no more than fourteen years old - and forensic anthropologist Dr Temperance Brennan is struggling to keep her emotions in check. Coroner Yves Bradette is being evasive, insisting the bones are ancient and of no interest. But it doesn't quite add up, and a frustrated Tempe is convinced that Bradette is hiding something...It's not Tempe's case; she's overwhelmed with more urgent work in the lab...But the nagging in her subconscious won't let up. A memory triggered, deep in her hindbrain - the disappearance of a childhood friend; no warning, no explanation...Working on instinct, Tempe takes matters into her own hands. But she couldn't have predicted where this case would lead, or the horrors it would eventually uncover...Can Tempe maintain a professional distance as the past catches up with her in this, her most deeply personal case yet?

Released August 26th 2008

Following her most successful book to date, Kathy Reichs -- international number one bestselling author, forensic anthropologist, and producer of the Fox television hit Bones -- returns to Charlotte, North Carolina, where Temperance Brennan encounters a deadly mix of voodoo, Santer�a, and devil worship in her quest to identify two young victims.

In a house under renovation, a plumber uncovers a cellar no one knew about, and makes a rather grisly discovery -- a decapitated chicken, animal bones, and cauldrons containing beads, feathers, and other relics of religious ceremonies. In the center of the shrine, there is the skull of a teenage girl. Meanwhile, on a nearby lakeshore, the headless body of a teenage boy is found by a man walking his dog.

Nothing is clear -- neither when the deaths occurred, nor where. Was the skull brought to the cellar or was the girl murdered there? Why is the boy's body remarkably well preserved? Led by a preacher turned politician, citizen vigilantes blame devil worshippers and Wiccans. They begin a witch hunt, intent on seeking revenge.

Forensic anthropologist Temperance Brennan -- "five-five, feisty, and forty-plus" -- is called in to investigate, and a complex and gripping tale unfolds in this, Kathy Reichs's eleventh taut, always surprising, scientifically fascinating mystery.

With a popular series on Fox -- now in its third season and in full syndication -- Kathy Reichs has established herself as the dominant talent in forensic mystery writing. Devil Bones features Reichs's signature blend of forensic descriptions that "chill to the bone" (Entertainment Weekly) and the surprising plot twists that have made her books phenomenal bestsellers in the United States and around the world.

206 Bones

(Book 12 in the Temperance Brennan series)
(2009)
A novel by

Kathy Reichs

Kathy Reichs, number one New York Times bestselling author and producer of the FOX television hit Bones, returns with a spectacular new novel featuring America's favorite forensic anthropologist, Tempe Brennan.

There are 206 bones in the human body. Forensic anthropologists know them intimately, can read in them stories of brief or long lives, and use them to reconstruct every kind of violent end.

The twelfth Temperance Brennan novel from Kathy Reichs, 206 Bones opens with Tempe regaining consciousness and discovering that she is in some kind of very small, very dark, very cold enclosed space. She is bound, hands to feet. Is she buried alive? In some kind of cell? Who wants Tempe dead, or at least out of the way, and why? Tempe begins slowly to reconstruct...

Tempe and Lieutenant Ryan had accompanied the recently discovered remains of a missing heiress from Montreal to the Chicago morgue. Suddenly, Tempe was accused of mishandling the autopsy -- and the case. Someone made an incriminating phone call. Within hours, the one man with information about the call was dead. Back in Montreal, the corpse of a second elderly woman was found in the woods, and then a third.

Seamlessly weaving between Tempe's present-tense terror and her memory of the cases of these murdered women, Reichs conveys the incredible devastation that would occur if a forensic colleague sabotaged work in the lab. The chemistry between Tempe and Ryan intensifies as this complex, riveting tale unfolds.

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